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Stranger Than Fiction Page #5
at the comedy-tragedy thing.
In fact, I think she likes me even less.
- I know, it's great.
- What do you mean?
entirely.
The voice seems to be dependent
on actions you take.
You reset your watch,
it says you reset your watch.
You ride a bus,
it says you ride the bus.
You brush your teeth,
it says you brush your teeth.
It may be that you yourself
are perpetuating the story.
- So I suggest we try something else.
- Like what?
- Try nothing. Nothing.
- What about Ms. Pascal?
- Forget her.
- Forget her?
Other than numbers,
she's all I think about.
Harold, if you wanna stay alive,
you'll try something else.
- That something being nothing?
- Nothing, exactly.
- Nothing?
- Let me explain this again.
by external events and crises.
Others are moved forward
by the characters themselves.
If I go through that door,
the plot continues.
The story of me through the door.
If I stay here...
...the plot can't move forward,
the story ends.
Also if I stay here, I'm late.
- Don't do anything tomorrow.
- Nothing?
Stay home. Don't answer the phone,
open the door, brush your teeth.
- What about work?
- Call them.
- Tell them you're not coming.
- Don't go to work?
Don't do anything that may
move the plot forward.
Instead, let's see if the plot finds you.
Marshall, you're not kicking.
- certain that these geese have never
known any home but this one:
A small lake in Eastern Poland.
Pollution from a nearby factory
is slowly killing...
... the small fish and insects
on which these creatures feed.
All attempts to move the birds to
similar bodies of water have failed.
Perhaps it is the familiarity alone
that keeps them here.
Or perhaps it's an unwillingness
to lose the collective memory...
... of the once-beautiful hills
that surround the lake.
And it takes only seconds
for the fiddler crabs to realize...
... that the wader
they might once have feared...
... has now become their prey.
The wounded bird knows its fate.
Its desperate attempts to escape...
... only underscore the hopelessness
of its plight.
The primates' sad, soulful eyes
will be the first to be plucked out...
... then sold to cosmetic companies
around the world...
... for use in the testing of mascara
and artificial tears.
Next, the monkeys' fur will be stripped
away from their limp corpses...
... and sewn together
to form pillows and comforters.
Mr. Zebra thought he was gonna
take a nice drink.
But you never know
who's gonna eat...
... when you're dining
at Mother Nature's restaurant.
That's gotta hurt. What does
this bald eagle wanna serve...
... with some kidney beans
and a fine Chianti?
It's an eel. And again:
Looks like old Mr. Crocodile
wanted some antelope...
from his palate.
Here's a struggle betting gentlemen
have been known to put money on.
When a mongoose encounters a cobra
it's hard to know who's gonna win.
But this time it looks like
it's... the cobra...
... who's putting the squeeze
on the mongoose!
But don't cash in your chips
just yet, gentlemen...
... because now it's the mongoose
Hey! Hey!
Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?!
- Holy crapping hell.
- What the hell is that?
- Stop the crane. Stop it.
- Stop the crane!
- Hey.
- Hey, what are you doing?
Us? What are you doing?
I was watching TV.
- Well, we're demolishing this place.
- Are you nuts? I live here!
- Is that a TV?
- Yes, that's a TV! It's my TV!
- Well, what's your TV doing in there?
- I said I live here, stupid!
It's where I keep my stuff!
My name's on the goddamn buzzer!
Harold Crick.
Apartment 2-B, 1893 McCarthy!
- Did you say 1893?
- Yes!
I'm not exactly sure it was plot.
I was hoping you'd say it was
just a really bad coincidence.
Meeting an insurance agent the day
your policy runs out is coincidence.
Getting a letter from the emperor
saying that he's visiting is plot.
Having your apartment eaten
by a wrecking ball...
...is something else entirely.
Harold, you don't control your fate.
- I know.
- You do?
Okay. Come with me.
Hey, Tom, can you leave that
till tomorrow?
You were right.
This narrator might very well kill you...
...so I humbly suggest that you just
forget all this and go live your life.
Go live my life? I am living my life.
I'd like to continue to live my life.
I know. Of course. I mean all of it.
However long you have left.
You know, I mean, Howard,
you could use it to have an adventure.
You know, invent something, or just
finish reading Crime and Punishment.
Hell, Harold, you could just eat
nothing but pancakes if you wanted.
What's wrong with you?
Hey. I don't wanna eat
nothing but pancakes. I wanna live.
choice between pancakes and living...
...chooses pancakes?
Harold, if you'd pause to think
I believe you'd realize...
...that that answer's
inextricably contingent...
...upon the type of life being led...
...and, of course,
the quality of the pancakes.
You don't understand
what I'm saying.
Yes, I do.
But you have to understand that this
isn't a philosophy or a literary theory...
...or a story to me. It's my life.
Absolutely. So just go make it the one
you've always wanted.
I never expected
that they would have--
- Do you want one, two?
- I want one.
- One?
- I want two.
All right, so here's your room.
Or as I like to call it, Sleep Pod Two.
Thanks, Dave.
No problem, dude.
It'll be nice having you around.
- How long you planning on staying?
- I'm not sure.
Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract,
purely hypothetical question?
Sure.
If you knew you were gonna die...
...possibly soon...
...what would you do?
Wow, I don't know.
Am I the richest man in the world?
No, you're you.
Do I have a superpower?
No, you're you.
I know I'm me,
but do I have a superpower?
No, why would you
have a superpower?
I don't know,
you said it was hypothetical.
Fine. Yes. You're really good at math.
That's not a power, that's a skill.
Okay, you're good at math
and you're invisible.
- And you know you're gonna die.
- Okay, okay.
That's easy, I'd go to space camp.
Space camp?
Yeah, it's in Alabama. It's where kids
go to learn how to become astronauts.
since I was 9.
You're invisible
and you'd go to space camp?
I didn't pick invisible,
you picked invisible.
Aren't you too old
to go to space camp?
You're never too old
to go to space camp, dude.
Space camp.
One hundred and twenty-two
guitars.
Seven hundred and thirty-two
strings.
Two hundred and fifty-seven
pickups.
One hundred and eighty-nine
volume knobs.
Here Harold stood, face to face
with his oldest desire.
And stand is almost all Harold did.
It wasn't just about finding
a guitar.
that said something about Harold.
Unfortunately, this guitar said:
"When I get back to Georgia,
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"Stranger Than Fiction" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/stranger_than_fiction_18965>.
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