Stretch Page #6

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to the hospital now. Thank you so much!

Get it! Get it! Get it! Motherf***er!

That's what I'm talking about! F*** CSI!

Well, you just might get

your SAG card after all, princess.

Hey, suspect was involved in a shots-fired

incident up in Hollywood Boulevard.

- When?

- Just now!

Unless he's killing people in the street,

we don't touch him until he has Karos in tow.

Holy sh*t.

- How's the hunt?

- Iggy, I'm so close.

How close?

I'm staring at hundreds of thousands

of dollars as we speak.

Andale. Well, shave six Gs off that sh*t.

I'll meet you in 30.

Yeah, wish it were that easy.

Mira Stretch. If $6,000 isn't

delivered to me by 12:01 AM

you're gonna see some sh*t

up close you'll never forget.

Because you won't be able to.

Oh, f***.

Stop.

Ay, what up, player?

Trying to get this fine

set of dimes up Sunset.

My boys gots a table

and the goose is loose.

- Grab a cab, yeezy. I'm busy.

- Hey, dude!

- You don't recognize me?

- No.

I'm ACB, man! I was on Idol!

Nigga, Cee Lo Green be all up in my sh*t

trying to get me signed to his label, dog.

These girlies are my backup singers.

Come here, girls!

Wanna hear something?

Little bit of sample do?

- No.

- All right, dude, this is from my new album,

B*tches and Tits.

This is the single It's Raining Tits.

You ready?

Oh, my God.

We be getting all romantic,

watching Titantic

- You roll up on me quick

- Let me suck your dick

You can suck my dick

Baby

Wow.

- That's really terrible.

- Come on, dude!

I just sang for my supper, homie.

It's like a 10-minute ride, dude.

Let me Jigga-Jay-Z this motherf***er.

- Fifty bucks per block.

- Damn, nigga!

Why you gotta do me like this

in a public place?

Because you're a giant bag.

That's why. Look at you.

Has your father stopped crying?

Three-hundy. Best I can do.

And the coke.

- What coke?

- Those three chicken heads wouldn't get

within spitting distance of you

unless you got some yay. Now, gimme.

- I like you.

- I don't like you.

- You got Facebook, dude?

- F*** off.

All right. Let's ride, ladies.

Suspect is engaged

with an unidentified white male,

who's accompanied by three females.

Stay put! That sounds like Karos.

We're en route right now.

Come on, girls! It's shower time, baby!

Pop bottles on the J-Lo!

Hey, chill out back there.

Them vocals is golden, dude.

It's gonna be a platinum record

for real, homie.

Is that spray paint?

- Stretch?

- Put the spray paint away.

Put the spray paint away.

F***!

Stretch!

- All right.

- You are going to jail.

The police put out a warrant

for your arrest.

Wait. Where... Where's the limo?

- Driving down Sunset with me.

- It's running?

- How?

- My friends at NavStar.

Stretch!

Stretch!

You are a wanted felon.

Are you f***ing delusional?

Listen, I'm gonna finish

this night with Karos,

collect my fee and then hit restart.

Love, life, career, all of it.

All this weirdness that

I got sucked into tonight,

it rebuilt my mojo!

Do you not get what's going on here?

Come on. Not only do I get it,

I'm getting the better of it.

I am beating a game that kicks

my ass on a regular basis.

Remember how you said I was a fatalist

that couldn't function unless everything

around me was turning to sh*t?

Well, guess what?

That is happening, and I am thriving.

Do you understand that?

It's like the worse it gets,

the better I am.

It's like I'm five steps ahead.

You can suck my dick, baby!

F***!

Sunset and Cahuenga, right now!

Karos just stole the limo.

The driver's outside removing

the license plates, and he just took off!

Oh, sh*t.

Hey, man. Excuse me.

You see some punk Kanye West

wannabe white boy

come through here with a shitty mohawk?

All right.

I'm gonna need your car.

Oh, you mean, like,

the police commandeer your car?

- Yeah.

- No.

Unless you're really Officer...

Ray Liotta.

You thought the badge was

a slam dunk, didn't you?

I did... I did though. I really did.

Why wouldn't I?

Hey, the delivery was good, man.

Man, I appreciate it. Thank you.

It was solid. I was impressed.

- Thank you. Got something going for me.

- Hey!

So, how many times

you're gonna tell this story?

Shithead limo driver

impersonating a cop.

It's classic, man. I'm gonna get

a lot of mileage out of this.

- Yeah, I don't blame you.

- I mean, you'd do the same.

Oh, in a second. Are you kidding me?

And if that's the case,

we might as well give the story

- the ending it deserves, right?

- Hey, why not?

Now, give me your f***ing car before

I put a bullet in your liver!

Gun!

- Oh, sh*t!

- Yeah!

Get that motherf***er!

Oh, sh*t!

You better run, white boy!

So what's the plan, Stretch!

Successfully outrunning

black men over flat surfaces?

Oh, God!

Where'd he go?

Okay, crank it.

- Oh.

- Are you all right?

- No.

- Time's up, white boy!

Sweet Jesus! Coloreds!

He got hit by a car!

That's what you get!

- God damn it! Stop running!

- Bring that motherf***er back over here!

That is fascinating.

I mean, the way that you told that story.

That's not...

They got the limo.

Karos wasn't inside.

Some dumb ass kid boosted it.

He's got a bunch of f***ing

coked up club girls in the back.

- Did they recover the case?

- They have not located it yet.

You get that limo towed to the nearest

impound yard and stripped to the chassis,

and find that f***ing driver!

Oh, doll, I would love

to text you back right now,

but I got bigger problems. F*** me!

You gotta get the limo back. Think.

Think, God damn it.

Hey, Bubba, get the CHP on the line

and tell them to close the Eastbound lane

to the 101 and the 134.

I want sawhorses and spike strips.

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

Slow is smooth, smooth is faster. Sh*t!

Sh*t!

F*** you!

Oh, shi...

You're gonna die out here, d*ckhead.

Oh, my. F*** me!

You gotta be shitting me.

Of course.

When did they have time to do this?

You can suck my dick, baby!

- Jesus.

- I love what they've done with the place.

I can't take it back to Karos

looking like this.

Bro, not to point out the obvious,

you're still attached to a tow-truck

on the f***ing freeway.

Oh...

F*** you, motherf***er!

Sh*t!

Hey, buddy, you like that?

Here we go again!

Damn it!

Come on, start, God damn it!

Come on, come on,

come on, come on. Start!

Come on!

Come on, I am begging you!

Sh*t!

F*** me! Come on!

- Turn on!

- Hello, baby.

I am begging you right now.

We have rape party?

We're not gonna have a rape party.

Little baby p*ssy.

There you go!

Bye-bye!

Buddy!

Okay.

The limo was retaken.

It was what?

F***!

The tow truck driver tried to stop him.

The f***ing cop got away!

This cop is obviously

on a schedule with Karos.

We got to get to him fast

or Karos is gone.

I want everybody pulled out right now.

LAPD, Sheriff's Department, CHP.

You make 'em task force loan-outs.

Get a chopper up there, too.

Next time Karos shows his face,

we take the whole f***ing thing down.

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