Stroker Ace Page #5

Arnold, he's tryin' to lose us.

Thinks if I get mad, I'll fire him.

Yes, sir.

Ain't gonna fire him.

If we lose him, I'm going to fireyou.

Me?

I ain't gonna get mad.

He'll fire me.

He won't fire you.

Hang in there, Arnold.

I got him.

Ha ha ha! He's tryin' to make me mad.

He'll fire me.

He won't fire you.

Don't lose him.

Oh, my god!

Grab somethin' that floats, boss.

I don't believe this!

I ain't mad.

No. I'm not mad.

He's going to be thinkin' that I'm mad,

but I ain't.

I'm mad.

Just turn stroker upside down,

and get that free chicken leg.

Another winner here

at Clyde Torkle's chicken pit.

Get that free chicken leg.

Step right up. They're goin' fast.

Better get your lucky shot here.

Is that stroker Ace in that race car?

Afraid it is.

Come on!

We got one more big winner here.

Who's going to be next?

That's all, young fella.

Doc, is that you?

It's me.

Hey!

How you doin'?

Havin' a lot of fun.

Hey, you're lookin' good.

You, too. Lot of color in your face.

Lugs, meet doc seegle.

His dad taught me how to drive.

Heard a lot about you.

Nice to meet you.

Come on. Let me see your best shot.

Wh-where is dad?

He's right here with me.

Stroker, we're mighty proud

of you back home.

Oh, thanks.

Bull's-eye!

Thank you.

At least we was.

Acting is one of my favorite things.

I can't believe you're an actor.

How long have you been at it?

Not long. Got the urge

a couple years back.

I can't get over you bein' an actor.

I thought actors were egotists,

hypochondriacs, and sissies.

Well, they are, but I like them.

What are you doin' now, dad?

Oh, I make jewelry.

That's real pretty.

What do you make it out of?

Organic matter...

Manure.

That makes you the cartier of caca.

What do you do in them acting classes?

Learn to dance and sing.

You sing?

Yeah. Everybody says

it sounds like somebody else.

You got me drunk, didn't you?

Well, you know...

Yes, I do know.

Nonalcoholic champagne, my foot!

You're not mad?

Mmm!

I guess not.

Stroker...

You're so sweet.

Oh, I'm not sweet.

Good-lookin', great driver,

snappy dresser--

Stroker?

Wait. One more.

I want you.

You do?

Yes.

I want you.

Right here...

And right now.

Pembrook.

Honey?

Sweetheart.

Angel baby.

It's important

that you be here for this.

This could be a very moving

experience for both of us.

It's not a good time to take a nap.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Wake up.

I'm going to go to my room.

I'm not going to do something

that I'm going to be sorry for.

Good night. Damn!

I guess I should undress you.

I mean, people don't sleep

with their clothes on.

I mean, nobody sleeps

with their clothes on.

It's very uncomfortable

sleeping in clothes.

People should be comfortable

when they sleep.

I'm going to close my eyes,

and then--ooh!

What is this, a button?

I'm going to look.

This could be something

entirely different.

No. This is a button.

I'll just undo that

and just pull that right off there.

Now you'll be c-comfortable.

I'm going to go now.

I'm definitely going to go now.

Yep.

I'm going to go.

How is this going to look?

I mean, you're half undressed.

I can't leave you like this.

I'll just--I'll just undo

the rest of you,

and then you'll be...

You know, air-cooled.

It's silly to leave you like this...

With half the dress

and--oh!

I'm going to go.

I am.

I'm going to go to my room.

Take another--

Another cold shower.

Yep.

I was reading in a medical

journal the other day

about how brassieres

cut the circulation off in your body.

It's not a good thing.

I mean, a person could die

with one of these things on.

The blood doesn't get to your head.

I'll just take this off,

then take off...

This would be more fun

if you were here.

I mean, I could

just ravage you, anyway.

Who would know?

Stroker?

Hmm?

Did we--

I mean...

Didithappen?

You mean you wouldn't know?

I guess not.

You guess not?

Nothing happened.

Oh.

You are so sweet...

That you could have and you didn't.

Well, that's part of

the wonderfulness of me.

You are the most wonderful man.

I got to make a phone call.

I'll be right back.

Hey, Pembrook.

Oh, hi, lugs.

What's the matter, hon?

It's stroker. He's just...

Where is he?

He is making a phone call.

Hey, doc.

Are you really a good actor?

I need help with my contract.

Stroker, come on out here!

It's a hell of an idea.

In a second, lugs.

Right now!

Uh, doc...

Doc, I can't hear you.

Doc, I got this idea

on how to get out of my contract.

Mr. MacKenzie... hot damn!

For a little ol'

redneck company like mine,

it's somethin' to be talkin'

to you yankee boys

from the Miller brewing

company in Milwaukee.

We've been watching

your company growth.

We're impressed.

That's really somethin'

comin' from you.

You've done well these past few months.

How could you know that?

'Cause that's secret

company information.

Believe me, we know.

Damn! You corporate boys

are really somethin'.

You got a real operation.

We want to buy your company.

Well, it's not for sale.

Well, I've written down a figure

on this piece of paper.

I think that figure

is just a little low, Mr. MacKenzie.

That's exactly 10% higher

than this company's total worth...

To the exact cent.

20% over stock value.

Damn!

You really are somethin', aren't you?

Let me get you somethin' to drink.

Anything you'd like.

I'll just have a Dr. Pepper.

What's a good ol' boy

from the brewin' company

doin' drinkin' a Dr. pepper?

Well, it's a little early.

I thought I'd...

Uh...

I got you.

You're going to buy them

out, too, ain't ya?

Damn! See?

You are somethin'.

I mean, you got your fingers

in everything.

Well, I'm not at Liberty

to discuss that.

Hey. I'm a businessman.

I understand these things.

Well, then I hope you understand

there are a few stipulations

to my offer.

Foremost, you tell no one of this meeting.

Not even someone from our own company.

Do I look like a bigmouth to you?

Secondly, if you sell,

we'd like a 2-year employment contract

between you and your key people.

You'd be gettin' the best.

We take over your

advertising immediately.

Things like auto racing.

You sponsor a driver with

a questionable reputation.

Can you get rid of him?

Like that.

We'd like your answer by 4:00 Sunday.

Sunday?

That's too quick.

I can't do that.

We have no deal, Mr. Torkle.

Good-bye.

Mr. MacKenzie, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

It's too quick.

I'll give you an answer

Sunday, October 23rd at 4:00.

Sunday, 23rd, 4:
00. It's a deal.

Deal? October 23rd in Charlotte?

That's the last race of the season.

Stroker, I did my best.

You got till 4:
00.

The race is over at 4:00.

I did my best.

He's got to fire stroker

during the season.

Otherwise, he's got months

to discover there's no deal.

I did my best.

You said that.

I'm about to run out over here.

I did my best.

Let's pack up this sh*t.

And get out of here.

You're a good boy.

I don't want to hear that crap.

He hit me. I can't remember his name.

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