Stroker Ace Page #4

would you never drink it?

Stroker Ace, I do believe

meeting Pembrook feeney

is the healthiest thing

that ever happened to you.

Down the inside

goes Aubrey James, number 10.

On the outside, stroker Ace.

7-Eleven car inside,

wall on the outside.

If Aubrey James can contain Ace,

he's going to come home the winner!

Aubrey James takes the checkered flag

in the Michigan 400,

but not the appreciation

of the 75,000 in attendance.

Perhaps the angriest is stroker Ace.

Should have given you a taller gear.

Wasn't your fault.

He just boxed you in. He beat you.

He did it with style.

Guys, what's so bad about second?

Screw second. Screw second.

Come in.

Hello.

Hi.

They slide out.

Oh.

I knew that.

Well...

How is everything at

the chicken factory?

Mr. Torkle says you're

doing a wonderful job.

He'll be in later if you

want to speak with him.

I don't think so.

Where's lugs?

Lugs?

Lugs is dead.

What?

Just kidding.

Oh. Making a joke.

I like to kid. Girls seem to like it.

What do they know?

My sister always said

I had a great sense of humor.

Oh, yeah?

If she's like you,

I'll be in double trouble.

She's dead.

Oh, I'm s--

Oh, you're kidding like me, huh?

No. She was run over by

a tractor-trailer truck.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Oh, don't get upset.

That was a long time ago.

Let's go out to dinner

so we can kid some more.

No. Let's stay here and drink.

I don't drink.

You don't?

No.

Oh, I knew that.

Lugs told me that.

That's why I ordered

nonalcoholic champagne.

Looks and tastes like the real thing,

right down to the phony label.

Really? I've never heard of that.

You have to order it special...

All the way from... New Hampshire.

I'll be darned.

I'll be darned, too. Drink up.

Oh, that was good.

Good. Have some more.

There.

Shall we go out on the balcony?

Why?

Enjoy the view?

Ok. What about dinner?

Room service.

Why?

Better food.

I want to talk to you about, uh...

Some chicken things.

Oh, I forgot my charts.

Oh, darn.

It smells so good, like after a rain.

That would be your magnolia.

Jasmine.

Whatever.

Stroker.

Why do men race?

What?

Why race? Why do you do it?

I don't know.

But you must.

Well, it's, uh...

Kind of hard to explain.

Try.

It's more like a feeling

you get, you know?

When did you first feel it?

Feel what?

The feeling.

Oh.

I was a young kid.

I used to run around

with this guy named doc.

We had a bike--

You had a bicycle!

Yeah.

Ooh, somehow I think that's very sweet

that you had a bicycle.

You do?

I do.

I had a whole bunch.

You did?

What y'all doin'?

Oh, hi, lugs!

Hi, Pembrook. How was your flight?

I drove.

You shouldn't have driven by yourself.

What are you doing here?

Just seeing what's going on.

I'll get it.

I told her about my bicycle.

Your what?

My bicycle! It was working, too.

Oh, look, lugs!

Golly!

That's beautiful!

You got enough there for 3!

It's lucky I came by.

It sure is!

Stroker, this has your name on it.

Here we come!

Whoo!

What' seems to be the problem there, James?

Not handling too well

in the turns, Kyle.

Never could drive anyway James

it's always the equipment.

I ain't falling off this time.

I'll beat you in that inside turn.

Kyle, you ready?

I'm ready.

Stand on it!

Yaaah!

We got 'em by a mile, Ricky!

Stroker. Cluck for me, 10.

The name's Aubrey James!

Bye-bye!

No!

Ha ha ha ha!

Come on. Let's go.

Glug! Glug!

That-away!

I'm stroker Ace.

The only thing I like better

than winning a race

is to stuff Torkle chicken in my face.

Look at that chicken!

That's a real chicken in a human suit!

Come down here, chicken.

Come on down!

Come on!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

I'm sorry, stroker.

I didn't think it would be like this.

It's all right. I signed the contract.

Sure did.

But everything's

going to be all right, hon.

I should talk to Mr. Torkle.

It's going to be fine.

Ok.

Excuse me.

Hey, kitty, goin' to the sandbox?

Ha ha ha!

Cluck for us, Ace.

You can do that good.

Come on, damn it!

We want to hear a cluck.

Who gives a cluck?

Ha ha ha!

Why don't you cluck for him, stroker?

He does it good. Really does.

You want me to stand up

and cluck for 'em?

Of course.

Cluckin' is real hard to do.

You got to get

your head back like this.

It starts in your diaphragm.

It comes up through your esophagus

and goes right through the larynx...

The Adam's apple.

You got to get your chin way up there.

That's it.

Are they lookin' up?

Yeah. They're really lookin' up.

They're lookin' at the ceiling.

We ought to get a good cluck.

Hot damn!

A fight!

Want to go get into it?

Sure.

Safe!

Ooh!

I don't know what you're

shoppin' for, cowboy,

but you're lookin' in the wrong place.

You didn't have to come in here for me.

Always a gentleman.

Thanks, stroker.

You're welcome.

Ooh!

Take that, 12.

10. 10.

Whatever.

Yeah?

I'm sorry to barge in on you like this,

but it's very important.

I sure hope it's important,

you comin' up here this time of night.

The things we have stroker doing

are very embarrassing.

What kind of things is that?

Why does he have to

wear a chicken suit?

Because I want him to.

Mr. Torkle...

Can't we release him from his contract?

With all the money he's makin' me?

You still working for me?

What's the matter?

You gone sweet on him?

No. No. I do like him.

Oh, you like him, huh?

Yes. But professionally speaking,

we should reevaluate

the whole situation.

Professionally?

Yes. I'm speaking as a businesswoman.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I guess you ain't

as professionally religious

as you used to be

before going on the road

with the stroker.

What are you talking about?

Honey, what I mean is,

we can do better for you

than some hayseed racetrack driver.

I can make life a bed

of roses for you, honey-pie.

Oh! Mr. Torkle, stop that!

Stop? I ain't started real good yet.

Don't you do this.

Jumped right into the bed!

I just knew it would

end up with us like this.

Now stop this.

Come on, let's have fun!

What do you say?

Mr. Torkle!

I quit!

Good.

Is your race ready, Charlie?

She's ready.

Take the day off.

Hate to mess up your fun,

but I fired that woman.

I quit!

You're fired.

Ow! Sorry.

What are you doin' down there?

She's workin' for me.

No, she's not. This is my car.

Better check the contract, Clyde.

I can have anybody I want

in the pit crew.

Ok.

Oh!

She tell you what happened between us?

No.

It's not true.

What happened?

I fired her, that's all.

But I ain't firin' you.

We'll be together forever.

Be back at that hotel at 6:00 sharp.

What did happen between you two?

He just made me mad, that's all,

so I kicked him in the scrotum.

Scrotum?

What's a scrotum?

I don't know.

I think I'll find out.

Pembrook, what's a--

You ought not have to make

appearances after 6:00.

A man should only have

to work a 12-hour day.

Ain't never seen this boy

in such a hurry

to open a chicken pit.

Is Arnold a good driver?

Don't upset Arnold.

I want to upset Clyde.

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