Sugar and Spice Page #17

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FERN:

Sh*t.

DIANE:

(whispered)

I'm fine here - go help!

ANGLE ON FACTORY WORKER ("Witness" from opening)

wearing a "Lincoln, Local 186" cap. He walks up the cereal

aisle.

FACTORY WORKER:

Not gonna let some piece-a-sh*t Betty

Doll tell me what to do...

ON KANSAS AND HANNAH

they turn to each other - sh*t!

ON FACTORY WORKER

as he continues toward them - REACHING INTO HIS BOOT AND

PULLING OUT A KNIFE.

FACTORY WORKER (CONT'D)

No-sireee-bob...

ON KANSAS AND HANNAH

Oh sh*t-oh-sh*t! Cleo and Fern join them.

KANSAS:

Freeze or meet Jesus, Ass-hole!

Kansas shoulders her gun. The barrel starts to droop, the

glue isn't holding. She quickly reaches out to straighten

it.

ON FACTORY WORKER

he stops, dead in his track.

FACTORY WORKER:

Don't we never take the Lord's son's

name in vain around this part of the U-S

A!

He drops his 6-pack and starts to RUN AT THEM!

FACTORY WORKER (CONT'D)

Ahhhhhhhh!

ON THE GIRLS:

they're freaking out.

ON CUSTOMERS:

bracing for the worst.

ON FACTORY WORKER

yelling and running. SUDDENLY, the SOUND OF TEN ROUNDS in

TWO SECONDS breaks the tension. MOTION SLOWS as his hat

EXPLODES OFF HIS HEAD. His face registers absolute surprise

as he falls back on his ass.

ON THE GIRLS:

Hannah stands frozen, gun still at her shoulder, breathing

hard. All turn - SHE JUST SHOT A GUY!

ON FACTORY WORKER

spread eagle in the middle of the demolished aisle. Cereal

trickles down from punctured boxes on the shelves.

Suddenly, he starts to move and slowly sits up. Dazed and

confused, only a piece of his union cap remains on his

head...

ON THE GIRLS:

they breathe a sigh of relief!

Fern approaches Hannah.

FERN:

(sotto)

Uh, I forgot to tell you sometimes when

the rebels take the gun off a corpse,

some live rounds get left in the drum.

HANNAH:

(complete shock)

Good to know, Fern. Good to know.

MUSIC UP.

ON DIANE:

SHOVING CASH in the last money bag as Cleo and Fern return,

GRAB THE OTHER FULL BAGS and GO! Diane's about to close her

bag when SNIFF...SNIFF... SNIFF - she turns toward the fish

department, puts the BAG OVER HER MOUTH and goes down to

puke. BEAT. She stands, pulling her mask back down, ties

the bag and follows the others.

ANGLE ON SQUAD:

as they run out together. Fern watching the rear. Diane

sees Snickers near the door. She's torn - THIS IS ONE TOUGH

CRAVING!

Kansas motions for her to "C'mon, run!" but Diane can't. She

goes back for a Snickers. She suddenly stops, digs in her

pocket and tosses a bill to the Cashier.

FADE OUT MUSIC.

DIP TO BLACK.

OPTIONAL ROBBERY PAGES:

ON FACTORY WORKER

yelling and running. SUDDENLY, the SOUND OF TEN ROUNDS in

TWO SECONDS breaks the tension. MOTION SLOWS as his hat

EXPLODES OFF HIS HEAD. His face registers absolute surprise

as he falls back on his ass.

ON THE GIRLS:

Hannah stands frozen, gun still at her shoulder, breathing

hard. All turn - SHE JUST SHOT A GUY!

ON FACTORY WORKER

spread eagle in the middle of the demolished aisle. Cereal

trickles down from punctured boxes on the shelves.

Suddenly, he starts to move and slowly sits up. Dazed and

confused, only a piece of his union cap remains on his

head...

ON THE GIRLS:

they breathe a sigh of relief!

HANNAH:

(complete shock)

I feel like freakin' David and Goliath.

MUSIC UP.

ON DIANE:

SHOVING CASH in the last money bag as Cleo and Fern return,

GRAB THE OTHER FULL BAGS and GO! Diane's about to close her

bag when SNIFF...SNIFF... SNIFF - she turns toward the fish

department, puts the BAG OVER HER MOUTH and goes down to

puke. BEAT. She stands, pulling her mask back down, ties

the bag and follows the others.

ANGLE ON SQUAD:

as they run out together. Fern watching the rear. Diane

sees Snickers near the door.

She's torn - THIS IS ONE TOUGH CRAVING! Kansas motions for

her to "C'mon, run!" but Diane can't. She goes back for a

Snickers. She suddenly stops, digs in her pocket and tosses

a bill to the Cashier.

FADE OUT MUSIC.

DIP TO BLACK.

FADE IN:

ON TV SCREEN - NEWS CAMERA POV

EXT. SAFEWAY - DAY

An animated Lisa talks to a MALE REPORTER. In the B.G. the

place buzzes with POLICE, PARAMEDICS and CRIME SCENE TECHS.

"LIVE" flashes across the bottom of the screen.

LISA:

(ranting)

...I'm walking evidence! One of them

stopped my ass!

(turning ass to camera)

Can you get a shot of it!?

(calling to tech)

Hey, can someone dust my ass for prints

over here?!

The male reporter waves TWO PARAMEDICS OVER - signaling

"crazy" and pointing to Lisa.

LISA (V.O.) (CONT'D)

I immediately started helping local

police with their investigation.

LISA (CONT'D)

Oh, wait - I almost forgot! I-I found

this!!!

She pulls out the pompon string (from Fern's boot) and hands

it up proudly as two PARAMEDICS take her arms and try to lead

her away. Lisa struggles to show her pompon string to

camera.

IN EXTREME F.G. - a TWENTY DOLLAR BILL FLOATS PAST

PULL BACK to reveal we're watching a TV. More money floats

past IN FRONT OF THE SCREEN.

CONTINUE TO PULL BACK to REVEAL WE'RE:

INT. KANSAS' BASEMENT - HOUR AFTER ROBBERY

Diane, Cleo, Hannah and Lucy are laughing, throwing and

rolling around in the money as the TV continues to play

"LIVE" from the scene. They're all in their undies (find out

why in a second) - money stuffed everywhere. Diane goes back

to hanging freshly washed bills (from the barf bag) to dry.

CLEO:

Can you guys believe this? We're like

celebrities!

LUCY:

Better enjoy it now. 'Cause tomorrow

some little kid falls down a well and

we're nothing but a distant memory.

Kansas enters from a back room.

KANSAS:

Disguises incinerated!

Squad CHEERS and throws money at her.

KANSAS (CONT'D)

Bad news, Di, there's one thing we just

couldn't fit in the furnace...

ANGLE ON FERN:

pushing a DOUBLE CRIB. It's filled with baby items, stuffed

animals, etc.

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