Sugar and Spice Page #20

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She starts to EXIT, then RETURNS.

DIANE (CONT'D)

So far.

She BUCKS HER CHIN, attempts a smile and starts to EXIT.

DIANE (O.S.) (CONT'D)

Hey, hey, hey, not so fast...

Diane returns to the mirror.

DIANE (CONT'D)

Following your dream is not a crime.

Nobody suspects you. Nobody has a clue.

MUSIC UP:

ALSO CUE:
CHANTS AND CHEERS

INT. LINCOLN HIGH - HALLWAY - DAY

MOTION SLOWS as squad, in uniform, walks toward camera in a

line across the hall. Their CONFIDENT FACES quickly turn to

worry.

ANGLE ON:

STUDENTS, quickly moving out of their way.

INT. LINCOLN HIGH - LUNCH ROOM - DAY

Squad (still in uniform) sit self-consciously at a table, no

one around them. WIDEN TO REVEAL students are crushed at the

opposite side of the lunchroom. Lisa and the B-squad

approach.

LISA:

Hey guys. Someone not take a shower

today?

The B-squad smiles and chuckles at this.

KANSAS:

Hey Lisa, did you run into Carmen

Electra last summer?

LISA:

No.

KANSAS:

Oh. 'Cause is looks like you got some

of her tits in you...

A-squad can't help but laugh. Lisa angrily hands Diane a

letter.

LISA:

This just came from the National High

School Cheerleading Association. You

might want to look it over before you

try any more "cradle dismounts from

double base partner stunts that are over

shoulder stand level without using three

catchers." Oh, or before you think

about robbing another bank.

SQUAD FREEZE with these WORDS. Suddenly, the lunchroom is

FLOODED with S.W.A.T. MEMBERS. It's PANDEMONIUM.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. POLICE STATION - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

We're back with Lisa and the FBI AGENT. Lisa has drawn

moustaches, beards, blacked-out teeth, etc. on the A-squad

MUG SHOTS.

LISA:

...and that's why I came forward. I

mean, even the kids on the short bus can

see that all the evidence points to

Diane and the A-squad.

FBI AGENT:

Sure does. Your testimony will prove

invaluable.

LISA:

Unfortunately, it wasn't them.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. APARTMENT - DAY

THE LIST:

"Get Alibi" is CROSSED OFF.

LISA (V.O.)

They were all waiting in my Suburban

while I ran into the Safeway that day

for cash...

DISSOLVE THROUGH LIST TO:

INT. LINCOLN HIGH - GYMNASIUM - DAY

MUSIC UP:

Lisa, now the A-squad Captain, is leading a cheer.

LISA (V.O.)

We were on our way to practice. Now, I

really need to get going, 'cause nobody

ever got ahead by sitting on their

behind...

She's competent, not great. Squad, including Fern, is

thrilled to be cheering. Diane, very pregnant, SMILES and

WAVES from the stands.

END MUSIC:

DIP TO BLACK.

MUSIC UP OVER END CREDITS

PHOTO:
CLOSE ON

a smiling Hannah.

SUPER:
HANNAH USED HER MONEY TO START A SMALL BUSINESS.

PULL BACK to REVEAL she's sitting on a HORSE beside a sign:

"WOLD RIDING SCHOOL."

SUPER:
THE MOST SUCCESSFUL RIDING SCHOOL IN THE STATE.

PHOTO:
CLOSE ON

A GLAMOROUS FERN

SUPER:
FERN GREW INTO HER LOOKS.

PULL BACK to REVEAL Fern is wearing camouflage and posing

with a large semi-automatic on the cover of "SOLDIER OF

FORTUNE" magazine.

HEADLINE READS:
"High-paid Women Assassins - Can They Have It

All?"

SUPER:
AND USED HER MONEY TO TRAVEL THE WORLD.

PHOTO:
CLOSE ON

A JUDGE who appears to be reading a verdict. PULL BACK to

REVEAL Kansas and MRS. HILL anxiously awaiting his verdict.

SUPER:
KANSAS USED HER MONEY TO HIRE AN ATTORNEY WHO FOUND AN

OLD PIONEER LAW STILL ON THE BOOKS IN LINCOLN COUNTY.

SUPER:
IF A WOMAN IS IN LABOR FOR LONGER THAN 18-HOURS - SHE

CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR HER ACTIONS... MRS. HILL WAS IN

LABOR FOR 32-HOURS. SHE WAS RELEASED IMMEDIATELY.

PHOTO:

Lucy, in graduation cap and gown, waves from an auditorium

stage at HARVARD.

SUPER:
LUCY USED HER MONEY TO GO TO HARVARD. SHE GRADUATED

WITH A DEGREE IN QUANTUM PHYSICS.

PHOTO:
CLOSE ON

Pizza deliver box.

SUPER:
WHILE STUDYING LATE ONE NIGHT, SHE HAD AN IDEA FOR A

PIZZA DELIVERY BOX THAT WOULD ACTUALLY KEEP THE PIZZA HOT.

DISSOLVE TO:

PHOTO:
AERIAL VIEW

of a LUSH TROPICAL ISLAND.

SUPER:
SHE NOW OWNS THE ISLAND OF GUANA, B.V.I.

INT. CONAN O'BRIEN SHOW - NIGHT

PHOTO:
CLOSE ON

Cleo's smiling face.

SUPER:
CLEO USED HER MONEY TO MOVE TO HOLLYWOOD.

PHOTO:

PULL BACK to REVEAL she's wearing a ripped dress - "new"

b*obs bursting out.

SUPER:
WHERE SHE MET THE PRODUCER OF SCREAM VIII...

PHOTO:

PULL BACK to REVEAL it's a MOVIE POSTER for SCREAM VIII.

KILLERS are behind her, holding knives and wearing BETTY

MASKS.

SUPER:
THEY WERE LAST SEEN BUYING LEATHER FURNITURE IN SOHO.

PHOTO:

CONTINUE PULLING BACK to REVEAL she's on "THE LATE SHOW WITH

CONAN O'BRIEN." Conan O'Brien is holding the poster between

them. She's laughing at something he's saying.

SUPER:
SHE GOT GOOD REVIEWS AND HER LIFE-LONG DREAM FINALLY

CAME TRUE.

EXT. POLITICA RALLY STAGE - DAY

PHOTO:
CLOSE ON

a smiling Jack and Diane - looking more mature and more in

love.

SUPER:
JACK AND DIANE DID NOT USE THEIR MONEY TO BUY BIRTH

CONTROL.

PHOTO:

PULL BACK to REVEAL they're surrounded by FOUR BEAUTIFUL

CHILDREN - TWINS are five, others are THREE and TWO. Diane

holds the youngest.

SUPER:
AFTER THE TWINS - LIL' DEBBIE AND TRIX - WERE BORN,

JACK'S POLITICAL ADVISORS STARTED HIS SENATORIAL CAMPAIGN.

PHOTO:

CONTINUE TO PULL BACK to REVEAL the VIDEO RETARDS (now in

suits) on either side of Jack and Diane.

SUPER:
THEY WON.

PHOTO:

PAN UP to REVEAL LARGE BANNER: "Congratulations Senator

Bartlett" hanging above them.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - DAY

PHOTO:
CLOSE ON

Diane, smiling from ear to ear.

SUPER:
DIANE KEPT BUSY RAISING THE KIDS AND RUNNING THE

"DIANE BARTLETT UNWED MOTHER SCHOLARSHIP FUND FOR

CHEERLEADERS."...

PULL BACK to REVEAL she's on an auditorium stage, handing a

LARGE CHECK to a very PREGNANT CHEERLEADER.

SUPER:
SO NO CHEERLEADER WOULD EVER HAVE TO ROB A BANK.

AGAIN.

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