Suing the Devil Page #2

on this one, please.

Luke, I just passed the bar.

I'm not about to sue Satan

as my first case.

Find another idiot.

Mel!

The judge actually set

a trial date for next week,

which stunned everyone

in the courtroom, including me.

After that, I got hit with

a million interview requests,

which of course

I reluctantly turned down.

Honey, I'm home!

Call him a nutcase, but

Luke O'Brien is suing the Devil.

The judge was about

to throw out the case

until another man entered in claiming

that he himself was, in fact, the Devil.

Talk about another weird day

here at the Sydney courthouse.

You sure you want to

go through with this?

Yeah, of course.

The Devil's responsible for

the mess this whole world's in.

You said it yourself.

Yeah, but I didn't tell you

to go out there and sue him!

Why are you doing this, Luke?

Because the devil exists

and I have to expose him.

I have to expose him.

Ladies and gentlemen, please.

I'd like to thank you for coming here on such

short notice for such a monumental event.

Now, without further a due,

I'd like to introduce to you my client,

who prefers that

you call him "Prince".

Here you are,

your dream team.

The best trial lawyers

from around the world...

are here in Sydney

for this trial.

Great.

Well, here you are sir,

your dream team.

The best, the brightest, the smartest

trial lawyers from all over the world.

And the most expensive.

Mr. Ice, Oxford, IQ 214.

He helped defeat a bill that was

trying to find a cure for cancer.

I'm not quite sure about

the cancer thing, I mean...

when people are dying of cancer they

usually think more about God, no?

Well, don't get too paranoid

there, Prince, because...

God gets his fair share

of cursing too, huh?

They curse God!

Well, that's a very smart answer.

Okay, I like you!

Miss Black, Yale law.

The youngest and best

litigator in New York.

67 wins, 0 losses.

She helped defeat

the electric car in court.

Her clients, big oil.

What would you say if I gave you

100 million dollars

and asked in return

for your soul?

100 million for my soul?

What's the catch?

Thank you.

Good answer!

- I like this team.

- Pleasure to meet you, Prince.

Mr. Think Tank, Harvard law.

- Think Tank.

- How do you do, sir?

Helped defeat the

passenger bill of rights.

His clients are

all the major airlines.

Airlines?

Oh, I hate airlines.

Well, what I do love, though,

I love to see people in those

huge long lines, don't you?

Waiting for security,

taking their stupid shoes off.

I love to see that!

And they added baggage fees.

That was my initiative.

Really? I love greed.

- Welcome to the team.

- Thank you, sir.

Good.

Ah, Ms. Shy.

Sydney University.

Don't let the name fool you.

She is a shark in court.

I hear you're not happy

with your remuneration.

I only work for top dollar.

Well, as you should.

And what is top dollar to you?

10 million, cash out.

Oh...

You sure she's Ms. Shy?

Sith, please!

Don't you want to be involved

in taking down Satan?

Putting that way, no I don't.

No one else is

helping me out on this.

Besides, I mean, think of

all the publicity!

You'll be in every newspaper.

You'll have so many

clients from this,

you wont even know

where to begin.

Seriously, I really, really need

your help on this one, please.

Luke, what if that guy really is Satan,

have you thought about that?

Mr. Innocent. You're going

to love him. Columbia law.

Represents all the casinos

in Vegas.

Vegas!

Put it there, my friend.

That is my hometown.

All those gamblers, those idiots,

what nitwits they are.

I love it when the dealer

has 16 and turns over a 5!

All those idiot faces!

I love it!

They look so disappointed!

I helped defeat a stupid lawsuit against

the casinos for second hand smoke.

They claim that 1 hour in a casino

equals 3 months of passive smoking.

Oh yeah, and so what happened?

Just like my last poker game,

I won, of course!

So I'm going to crush Luke O'Brien.

That will give me so much joy.

You're doing this for the Lord.

Seriously. And you're going

to take a stand in your life!

- Thank you so much

- Yeah.

So, Mr. In-Yo-Face,

from Stanford Law.

Oh! Stanford Law.

Very good!

I know this sounds

very egotistical, sir, but...

I am the greatest, so

don't worry about a thing.

Good. Isn't that what

Muhammad Ali said?

- Professor Fields, NYU.

- Hi Prof!

It's a stupid lawsuit sir,

and we're going to win.

Alright. Stupid, win. That sounds

good to me. Thank you.

And last but not least,

Ms. Scarlett.

She represents

the tobacco industry.

Then no more need be said!

Quick question. Hands up

all those who believe in God.

Alright.

Hands up those who like God.

Like, like, like?

No one.

Well, I think our nemesis

Luke O'Brien is in your shoes.

He doesn't like God either!

Only he doesn't know it yet.

Alright, now, as you all know, this trial

is being shown around the world.

I don't have to tell you,

my client never loses.

Ever.

So what do we know

about this Luke O'Brien?

You don't need to worry

about Luke O'Brien, he's done.

Well, let's not underestimate him.

We're not. That's why

you're closing him.

And so the first day

of the trial arrived.

The jury was selected by a random

computer process under some new law.

Now, it was a mad house.

Here we are outside the

International Court of Human Rights,

where Luke O'Brien

is about to arrive.

Look! Here he is!

Here he is!

Luke! Luke! Luke!

Serious question for you, Luke.

Are you a moron?

No.

- Luke, you can't be taking this case seriously.

- Well, of course I'm taking it seriously.

Do you honestly believe

that that's the devil?

The devil is alive

and he's well.

Luke, Luke, so why are you

suing the devil?

He ruined my life,

he ruined this world!

And he has to pay for it.

- Do you really think you have a chance?

- Yes.

In my heart I believe I do.

Satan, Satan, do you have

anything to say?

I always have

something to say.

- Are you really Satan?

- Oh yes, how about a little dance with Satan?

Do you expect the public

to actually buy you're Satan?

Well do you expect the public

to buy that you are...

$12000 in debt

on your credit cards?

- How did you know that?

- Yeah, start paying them off.

If you're really Satan,

then prove it.

Okay, watch this.

All I'd like to say is:

The world is full of losers.

How many people are going

to sue me and blame me

because they can't

get their act together?

Okay? They're losers!

Mr. Luke O'Brien,

are you listening?

Satan, just want to say

that I'm a huge fan,

I adore you, I worship you!

- I love Kiss.

- What?

Kiss! Kiss!

I hate Kiss.

I'm a Tom Jones man.

It's being built as trial of the century,

being seen by audiences around the world.

Welcome everyone to

"You Decide The verdict".

I'm Barry Polk.

Joining me today are...

Tony "The Hip" Anzaldo,

and Jasmine Williams,

welcome both.

Tony, why don't we

start with you?

Do you think that this guy Luke O'Brien

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