Summer of Blood Page #3

- What do you mean?

I'm just saying that there's

nothing safe anymore.

Safe is dead.

You know,

lead in the salmon.

Middle Eastern guys

with backpacks. I mean...

Do you think that's a

very healthy attitude?

I think it's liberating,

in a lot of ways.

How so?

Well if everything is a danger,

then there's nothing to fear

for the most part.

For example,

do you have kids?

- No.

- Okay, good.

That's a relief actually.

But if and when you do, they're f***ed. I mean,

they're not safe anywhere, on the playground,

in the schools,

in the restaurants,

in their own bedrooms.

Someone can break in

and take them.

And knowing that they're

perpetually in danger

means that,

you can be liberated.

You shouldn't fear anything.

I think that's actually

a very healthy attitude.

That's interesting.

That's interesting.

Look, I need to

tell you something.

Are you on your period?

No, that's not it.

I think a lot of what you said

at dinner was way off base.

Really.

Mm-hmm.

I'm a optimist.

Well, I've never dated

an eye doctor. So...

Not an ophthalmologist,

an optimist.

I think things

are getting better.

I don't think liberty stems

from being scared of everything.

I think liberty results from

empowerment and progress.

I agree.

Maybe we should liberate ourselves from our

clothes and progress to the penetration ceremony.

For everything bad that happens,

100 good things happen.

Consciousness is on the rise.

People are less tolerant of war

and human rights violations.

They're standing up

to injustices.

They're speaking out

against bullies.

There are people inventing

things in their garages

that are going to

change the world.

I think it's an exciting

time to be alive.

Wow, you're really

something else.

I admire your passion so much.

It's incredible.

But you sound like

a dumbass.

- Like one of those sniveling liberals.

- You're a dick!

You know, it's true.

Come on, don't go.

Wait a second.

Look, look, look, look, look.

I'm just being honest, okay.

You can appreciate that.

If this is honesty, then I don't

anything else to do with you.

No, no, hold on a second.

You can't take anything I'm saying

seriously. I'm exhausted and confused.

What do you have to be

exhausted and confused about?

Oh man,

I'm 40 years old.

You online profile

said you were 35.

See how confused I am.

I mean...

Okay, but when I dye

my hair I look 30.

Look, I think New York

is a magical city,

and I feel very close

to the humanity here.

In fact, I've never been

more optimistic about

the human race in my life.

A lot of people say

that when you get older,

you get more cynical

but every day, in every way,

I feel like Mary Poppins

on nitrous oxide.

Yes, yes, it's true.

You know, one of the things I like to do

when I want to feel

elbow to elbow

with my brothers

and sisters in the city?

I'll ride the subway,

I'm not kidding,

and I'll look for two people,

like, the most downtrodden,

depressed people I can find,

I will just sandwich myself.

I'll will sit right

between them.

It doesn't matter

who they are.

They could be white hipsters, or Chinese bankers

or black bankers, or Puerto Ricans hipsters...

...or Jews.

I'll sit beside them and

I'll put one hand on one thigh

and one hand on the other thigh,

just to let them know that we're

all in this thing together.

Shut up.

You are ridiculous!

Don't patronize me.

I believe this sh*t.

I feel strongly about this.

Bullshit.

Seriously, f*** you.

Are you telling me you

actually put your hands

on two peoples' thighs

to show them solidarity?

Because if you're serious,

I will marry you right now.

Let's not get carried away,

okay.

I don't know if I'm

marriage material.

But I like your

enthusiasm quite a bit.

I mean,

all things considered,

to be clear, I don't know

how I feel about marriage.

No, I know how I feel.

I've been married.

I'm not doing it again.

It's not for everyone.

You were married but

you're against

marriage completely?

You're totally against it, now?

I mean, it's not for everyone.

It's not for me.

Cheers.

I think that's really

a healthy attitude.

I think that's a terrifically

healthy attitude.

I'll drink to that.

You like it, huh?

Try deeper, deeper.

I can't go any deeper.

Harder. Harder.

I can't go any harder.

Faster.

Try faster.

I can't go any faster.

Jesus, try anything.

Just f*** me!

I'm doing the best I can,

okay.

It's good, huh?

You like it?

I'm close.

I'm close.

Okay.

You know I should

probably head home.

Just stay for

a little bit longer.

Um...

Please, just little bit longer.

Okay, I can stay for

maybe ten more minutes.

Our bodies fit

together so well.

Maybe five.

I'm short and chubby so it's

hard for me to find a body type

that meshes with mine.

I really need to go.

You don't like me,

do you?

I thought things were

going so well between us.

You know, the problem is

I only do great sex.

Like, I need great sex.

Good sex

isn't good enough.

We, we had great sex, right?

It felt pretty great.

Mm.

Look I'm out of practice, okay?

Didn't you say that you just got

out of a three year relationship?

Yeah, so.

So you should be like,

practiced up.

You should be,

you should be...

I don't understand.

Look, f***ing is difficult.

It's hard, okay.

- F***ing is really hard.

- F***ing is hard?

Yeah, it's like exercise.

I don't know why they're

trying to outlaw gay marriage.

They should be

outlawing sit-ups.

Oh my God,

that is your problem.

F***ing should be

effortless and awesome!

I can be effortless

and awesome.

No, you can't.

You're robotic and rigid.

I can f***, okay.

No.

No, you can't.

You know what I hate,

more than anything else,

in the whole entire world? What?

When you're watching a movie

about a bunch of spoiled,

neurotic white people

and then at some point,

a black character shows up

and then the filmmakers

draw attention to the fact

that the character is black.

Yeah.

You're like black, right?

Yeah.

I guess so.

I always thought

I wanted to make

a feature film at some point.

You know, I always

thought I had it in me,

to do that.

I mean, I'm in sales, but I think if I ever

did it I would probably do the auteur thing.

I would write,

direct and star in it,

is what I probably

would end up doing.

Wow, you have a lot of

confidence in yourself.

How hard could it be

at the end of the day?

I mean,

Tyler Perry does that.

He writes and directs and stars in his own

movies. Yeah, but Tyler Perry is really smart.

He's not that smart though.

Come on.

Really?

Come on,

his movies are horrible.

- You know, they're terrible.

- Are they?

You've seen his movies.

You know how bad they are.

I've never seen a

Tyler Perry movie. No.

- You've seen a Tyler Perry movie before.

- No, I haven't. Have you? I would never watch a Tyler Perry movie.

Why not?

His movies are terrible, that's why.

How can you say they are terrible

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