Summer of Blood Page #4

if you've never seen one?

The feeling that you get.

They just look bad.

They just feel bad.

I see a trailer for a

Tyler Perry movie and I think,

"It made that much money?

It's making that

kind of money?

That's what people

are seeing that?"

It just makes me mad.

That is really presumptuous of you

to criticize a filmmaker's movies

and you've never

seen their movies.

Tyler Perry is

incredibly successful.

He's got to be doing

some right.

Right?

You should probably

stop eating so much bread,

to be honest.

So, um... have you ever

dated a black guy?

What do you want, Erik?

I want to get back together.

No.

What do you mean?

Does that mean like, "No. Forever no", or just "no temporarily but maybe

later we'll get back together." Erik, you're abusive and dangerous

and if you don't

stop calling me,

I'm going to take out a

restraining order against you.

Look, you're the

unstable one, okay.

The only reason I want

to get back together is

because I'm worried about you.

I just want to make sure

that you're fine,

that you're not going to

do something psychotic,

- or suicidal or something.

- Get over yourself.

You're like a forty-year-old

man who's a child,

who's going to die

afraid and alone.

Look, for your information I've

been on three dates this month.

Fantastic, you're a stud.

- Well, I am one for three.

- Goodbye, Erik.

Look, hold on.

Don't hang up the phone.

I want to ask you

one more question

and then I'll leave you

alone, okay.

- Jody?

- What?

- Are you there?

- What?

Was the sex bad?

What do you mean?

I mean, did we have... during the

three years we were together,

was the sex bad,

between us?

Erik, it was way worse

than that.

I don't believe you.

Do you know how I keep dry

when it's hot and humid outside?

- How?

- I think of you!

You're just...

I would rather mount a chainsaw,

than be with you again.

Okay, that's not nice.

My sixty-five-year-old neighbor

has more stamina than you do

and he has MS.

Oh, you're having sex

with old Mr. Phillips now?

Well, that would at least

be an improvement.

Well, it wouldn't surprise me.

I know you're having sex with

that frat boy motherf***er.

Jody?

Hey, I didn't mean that.

It's good you're

having sex with him.

Are you there?

Penelope.

What's up, girl?

Yes.

You look very pretty today.

I think you shouldn't say

that to your co-worker.

Why not?

It's kind of creepy.

I'm not groping you, okay.

I'm just paying you

a complement.

Yeah, but you know how

serious they are here

about sexual harassment.

If you said I was handsome,

I wouldn't freaked out

about that.

Look, I have to go

finish my work.

Why?

You're always working so hard.

Why are you constantly working?

We have a huge

meeting tomorrow,

and I have to finish

my spreadsheets.

Don't you hate this job?

- No.

- Really?

It seems like there's

more to life

than being some cog in

a money-making machine.

I like making money.

Yeah, but don't you just feel

like we're all just characters

in a Dilbert cartoon?

I don't know that cartoon.

Wouldn't you rather be

a character in a movie,

like "Deep Throat"

or something like that?

Did you not hear

everything I just said

about sexual harassment?

Okay, I'm not meaning

it as sexual harassment.

It's just a word, Penelope.

Yeah, but it's a dirty word.

Do you like dirty words?

Not at work.

You better finish

your spreadsheets.

Oh yeah, I like it.

No, I'm in here.

Yeah, I'll be out

in a second, okay?

Hey, what's up?

Hi.

May I join you?

Sure.

You're not going to mug me

or anything like that, are you?

No.

Have you ever been mugged?

Well, I have this defense

mechanism that I use

when I think there's a

dangerous situation.

If I'm walking by two people

or one person who might look

shady or dangerous,

I'll start tweaking out

and saying gibberish,

like I've got brain damage,

so they think I'm f***ed up.

So I'll say stuff like,

"I'll blow sh*t up,

tomatoes, tomatoes,

momma didn't love me,

give me my

prosthetic leg,

Charlie, bang-bang,

Charlie, bang-bang."

It's... to freak them out,

you know what I mean,

so they won't f*** with me.

Oh yeah, that's funny.

- It's pretty stupid.

- Does it work?

I mean, it works.

It's dumb I know,

but I do it

when I was scared

and we do dumb things

when we're scared.

We do dumb things

when we're scared.

Every dumb political decision

we ever made

was when we were scared.

- Every dumb political

decision we ever made - Yeah.

Was kinda... stupid so...

Are you afraid of

anything right now?

I am actually, yeah.

God, you've got beautiful eyes.

Thank you.

I'm not trying to come on to

you or give you a hand job

or anything like that.

I'm just saying, "Wow wee."

Tell me about your fears.

I think I'm losing my mind.

Why?

Because this city's insane.

I'm insane.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know where I'm going.

I can't commit to

anyone or anything.

I'm afraid someone's

going to blow up this city.

I'm afraid of middle eastern

men wearing backpacks,

even though I'm sometimes

a middle eastern man

- who wears a backpack.

- Uh-huh.

I'm afraid I'm unraveling.

I'm afraid that my HPV is

going to lead to throat cancer.

I'm afraid of Michael Douglas.

Have you seen him lately?

I'm afraid of everything!

Are you afraid to die?

I'm terrified.

Do you want to die?

That's the thing, I don't

really care if I die or not.

I think it would alleviate

a lot of responsibilities.

What kind of responsibilities?

You know, career,

making something of myself,

starting a family.

If I died I wouldn't

have to grow old,

I wouldn't have to grow-up.

Do you want to die?

That's the thing,

I don't know...

- Do you want to die?

- I don't care, I think..

- Do you want to die?

- Yeah, I do want to die.

You do want to die.

I do.

How long has he

been like this?

All day!

Erik.

Erik!

Do I help you?

Can I know you?

You missed the meeting.

What meeting?

There was a meeting

this morning.

You missed it.

I don't know about

any meeting.

Carl is f***ing pissed.

Well, Carl can kiss

my big red weenie

until his lips are coated

with the sweat of my...

Carl, what's up buddy?

We were just talking about you.

The nicest,

sweetest things

about how exponentially great

you are for this company.

You missed the meeting today.

I know I missed the meeting.

I missed meeting.

I don't know what to tell you

but this should say it all.

I'm just kidding around.

Look, here's the thing, I wasn't there

because I was trimming my pubic hair.

The thing is I wasn't there

because I had this thing

lodged in my a**hole...

What the f***

is wrong with him?

I have no idea.

Would you get over to my

office for a minute, please?

It sounds like

you're in big trouble.

I'm in big trouble,

big trouble.

Yeah, well, I've been to the

principal's office before. I can take it.

Well, Erik it's going

to be sad to see you go.

f this is the last time

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