Summer Rental Page #6

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after the sperm meets the egg.

And Gregg goes,

"You smoke a cigarette."

You're still a non-smoker, aren't you?

- Daddy!

- Just being a dad, that's all.

- How's the boat coming?

- It's coming. A little slow.

- Not good, huh?

- Could be better.

- Can't win them all.

- But you'd like to win one, wouldn't you?

One would be nice.

- Here it is. Dry rot.

- I got a thing for that here.

Let's go and check the port.

- I'll be right with you.

- Right, coming.

- Hey, Dad!

- Hi. What's the matter?

We've made a decision.

About what?

We want to help you fix the Barnacle.

We thought we'd give you a hand.

Is it all right?

Yeah. Come aboard.

All right!

- Hey, Dad.

- What?

This could be the one.

Thanks.

My kids. You knew that already though.

Of course you would.

God's blood!

Don't tell me that you can't find a sail!

So, go to Tampa, then!

- You dumb Swede!

- Nae dumb Swede, a dumb Scot!

Same thing.

Honey!

Can you come up here a minute?

Yeah?

Painted yourself in a corner?

- How do I get out?

- I don't know. I did it, too. Damn!

I'd like to propose a toast.

To my new friends.

And to my best friends, the Chesters.

And to the Barnacle, for all this fun.

We've already won.

- Cheers!

- All right!

Would the crew of the Barnacle

please raise your drinks?

Is something wrong with your arms?

Raise your drinks!

You mean, we're crew?

We can race with you?

- What did I say?

- Excellent!

And we'll win! Right, Admiral?

Aye! It's going to be a hell of a victory.

We'll have won it without a sail!

Why? Where's Angus?

Last I heard, Savannah.

Hi, man, I need a grand sally,

50-foot high she be!

- No.

- I'll never find her by tomorrow!

- That better be the new jenny you have!

- Yes, it is.

Tuck your shirt in, Floyd!

- Be of good cheer, Angus is here!

- Angus!

Welcome to the Twelfth Annual

Citrus Cove Regatta.

Again, we have some

of the best skippers in Florida.

The boat to beat, as ever, is the Incisor,

skippered by Citrus Cove's Al Pellet,

winner of this event

for the last seven consecutive years.

As they ready for the start,

we wish them all luck.

So, he didn't show up. He's still going

to cough up that dough.

- Well, we've got a late arrival.

- They just made it.

- It hasn't started yet!

- We made it.

- We haven't made nothing yet.

- I know.

Number two-eight-two-seven.

The Barnacle?

Ain't that a restaurant?

Look!

Look there! It's Captain Blackhawk

and the SS Moveable Feast!

Don't worry, we'll have the last laugh.

There's Gregg and Don! Gregg!

- I think we have a start.

- Give them the gun!

- The boat feels different.

- What's different?

- Twice as big as I'm used to.

- She don't know that.

- Just follow her lead.

- It's their lead I'm worried about.

You're worried, are you?

Good, that's the proper attitude.

- It's a long race. We'll catch them.

- I hope so.

Ease off on the jib a bit.

- Aye, I heard him.

- Sorry.

- Can I play in the basement with Yorku?

- If it's OK with Yorku.

- It's OK. I play.

- I'll be right here if you need me.

I'm going to head up a little higher.

- Head her up a bit higher.

- Heading up a bit higher.

All right!

- Look sharp.

- Coming about.

Hard to lee. We don't want to blow it

at the first marker.

All right, cleat it! Cleat it!

Do up the jib halyard!

- Prepare to come about.

- Prepare to come about!

Look smart on the forward deck.

Hard to lee. Coming about!

- Turn her back wind.

- Jennifer, walk that jib across.

Aye, aye, Dad!

- Trim the other jib.

- Not the jib!

- Mainsail's too tight.

- Ease off on the main.

- Yorku, you're so pretty.

- Your baby's a beauty.

- We be set, Captain.

- That's good.

- Jack!

- Yeah.

Take off your hat and wave.

- Steady on the helm!

- Keep your hand on the wheel!

- Sorry. I got it, though.

- Thanks.

- Have we fetched the second marker?

- Not yet. Damn! They're losing us!

Prepare to jibe!

Check that turtle! Jibe ho! All right,

let's get it down, Floyd, let's get it down!

Prepare for the downwind run!

Cortez, drop the jib!

Hoist the spinnaker after the marker.

Hoist, damn it! Move, move!

Get up there!

Trim the backsail! Come on, hustle!

Ease the after guy a little!

All right, everybody, this is it,

the run for the money! Prepare to jibe!

Jibe ho!

Ease the pole forward 3 inches.

Take the bearing on that last craft.

- How are we doing, Dad?

- We're OK!

We're not closing.

Jack, you've done beautifully, but this

old girl ain't got nothing else to give us.

- You think we're going to win?

- Yeah.

- What you got there?

- It's good. Scully's Catches-of-the-Day.

- You want some?

- No.

- Where did you get it?

- From the freezer.

Didn't I tell you, "Removar

all the food and the freezer?"

I think you says to me,

"Don't move the food and the freezer!"

Thank God for my bad Spanish!

- Everything out!

- We got hundreds of pounds of ballast!

- We're still in this!

- Kids, help with the garbage!

Let's go!

This old girl's got

the straight-away power.

- Run the bastards down!

- We get the squeeze dick!

- You're doing great, Dad!

- Now she's on her line!

I can feel her! Right, Pellet,

I'm coming to get you! Out of my way!

- Eat our waves!

- We're catching up on the big fart!

- Watch your language!

- The kid's right. He is a fart.

- They look very natural.

- Vicki!

He's a judge! I value his opinion.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Come on!

- We'll show people in the stands!

- Word from the Committee Boat.

The Barnacle's gaining.

Slug up the foreguy.

- Damn!

- What's going on? What's happening?

- The bastard stole our wind!

- They can't do that, can they?

- They've done it!

- Can we use the engine to catch him?

- No.

- I know.

Falling off. Stand by to trim.

Aye.

- What the hell are you doing, Jack?

- See that plane? It's in a microburst.

A low-altitude funnel gunnel. I've seen it

at the airport a hundred times.

All right, go for it, boy!

Here it comes.

Here we go!

Trim her in!

- Can't you see we're in a funnel gunnel?

- Ah, you lovely sally!

- We're going so fast!

- We're gaining.

- Where are they getting that wind from?

- Dad, we're closing in!

- You're doing great, Dad!

- I want a picture of Pellet as you pass.

Make two copies for me.

We're closing on the scurvy bastard!

Hold her steady!

Trim the main! They're gaining!

Trim it when I tell you, trim it!

- Come on, Dad, we're going to beat him!

- Attaway, Dad!

Faster, Dad!

We're gaining on him!

- How do we get more speed?

- We can't. We need more sail.

Aye. Damn! With two more yards of sail

we could have made it!

Scully, take the wheel!

At this moment, the Barnacle appears

to be a real threat to the Incisor!

Are we in a wind pocket?

Is it the funnel? Come on!

I told you this boat could fly!

We can beat them!

Here's the finish line!

- Floor it!

- Go, Dad, go!

What is it? What, are we dragging

something? What is it?

Come on, Dad!

We're so close! Keep it up, Dad!

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