Summer Rental Page #5

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Can you tread water with that hook?

- Does your head hurt?

- Yes, it does.

- It was my fault, wasn't it?

- Oh, yes.

- I guess I'm not much of a sailor, am I?

- No, you're not.

But you will be.

When I get through with you,

you'll be as good a sailor as I ever was.

Maybe better.

Do you want more ice?

I got the lotion and your towel.

Please, let's hurry.

- OK.

- Bye, Dad.

Bye. What, no kiss?

Look, I'll make you a deal.

If your leg starts to hurt, I'll carry you.

- Bye!

- Bye! I don't want to push it, you know.

Besides, I just wanted to sit around

and kill some flies.

- Honey, do you want to have a talk?

- No.

- This was for you. You're not having fun.

- Are you having fun?

- I'm having lots of fun.

- If you're having fun, I'm having fun.

And, in a couple of days,

we'll all be having fun together.

- I'm off to have today's fun.

- Great!

Got him!

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Perfect day for sailing.

- We're not sailing today.

We're going dancing.

- Know what your trouble is?

- I have to lose a few pounds.

You're an air controller. If you think you'll

control the sea like a 747, I fear for you.

The sea is a wondrous,

mysterious, dangerous lady.

She'll make you rich

or feed you to the fishes.

You can't control her.

You've got to give yourself to her.

She wants you to dance, sonny boy.

You got to follow her lead.

- Didn't I see that on your restroom wall?

- Yes!

As true today as when I hung it there.

Hoist the mainsail.

Roger!

The apparent wind and the true wind

are different. Watch the telltales!

That's right, bring her about.

Take your time, boy! She's a lady.

Give me a chance to get the jib

through the foresail.

No, don't pinch.

The beam reach is your fastest line.

- So keep your sails full.

- Hard to lee!

- How's that?

- Fine.

You can release your sheet

a little faster, you know.

- All right.

- How's this?

Ah, that's fine. Ah, nice!

All secure.

Here, a graduation pin. A hook

of your own from Scully's sailing school.

- You're a sailor now.

- Thank you very much. I appreciate this.

You didn't have to do this.

- It's real.

- Aye.

This is great. I'm bleeding.

Is that how you lost your hand?

- Aye, sure.

- Thanks a lot.

Gregg told me about this island

with excellent shells. Can we go?

- Sounds good to me. Jack?

- No.

- Why not?

- Why not what?

Weren't you listening?

It's like you don't even hear us now.

- Don't say that. I hear you.

- What did I just say?

- You said I don't hear or listen to you.

- Dad, it's for you.

See? I heard that!

Don't tell me I don't listen to you!

- You and Scully, what do you do all day?

- Dance.

Hello.

Yes, it is.

Oh, right, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.

Sure. Where?

OK.

All right, I'll be right there.

OK, fine. Bye.

- What's up?

- Our landlord just got out of hospital.

- Oh, good.

- I'm going in to straighten out our rent.

Jack, glad you could make it.

I hate to do business here.

The new owner knew the principals

would be here to wrap it up.

No problem.

Sorry, I thought I was going to your

office. I didn't know. I feel like an idiot.

Your brother was a great man, Floyd.

A beacon to us all.

He'll be sorely, sorely missed.

And now, I'll sign the papers.

Could I have a little room here, please?

Mr Pellet, this is Jack Chester,

the tenant.

Well, well, well, renter.

It looks like you're my renter now.

Well, I guess... this goes to you, then.

That's for the last two weeks' rent.

Thank you.

I'd just like to say, it's a terrific place.

My family's having a great time.

It's the best money I ever spent.

- Really?

- Yeah!

Why are you doing that?

I wouldn't take this cheque from you

if my children were starving.

I want you and your family

out by Saturday midnight,

or I'm going to toss you out personally.

I told you I'd get you.

I'd have given you any amount

you wanted for that house!

And that's the best money I ever spent.

So that's it?

We have to go home in four days?

We can't! I have a date with Gregg

to go to the regatta!

I have got a date for the regatta, too.

Shut up! Stop saying everything I say!

- I'm not leaving! I don't care!

- I'm not leaving! I don't care!

There he is, Captain Al Pellet.

You shouldn't have rammed him,

but sunk the bastard!

He tried to buy me out once.

When it didn't work, he got tough.

Tried to deport Cortez.

- Canalla!

- Called the Barnacle a garbage scow!

All right, all right, hard to lee!

He's a squid stick!

A squeeze dick! You say!

...he was about a half a length ahead.

He looks over, he sees me.

He gets so frustrated, he misses...

Pellet!

Hey, landlord!

Amazing! I thought they were extinct.

I could swear that's the call

of the red-beaked,

seersuckered, summer renter.

And it is.

Why aren't you packing?

You took away my family's vacation.

I'm going to take something from you.

- What can you take from me?

- That!

- What? My cup?

- Yeah!

- You think you can out-sail me?

- Yes!

You couldn't beat my dinghy.

- Really?

- Really.

- You want to bet?

- What are you going to bet? What?

Popcorn?

Lobsters?

$1,000! The last two weeks' rent.

You win, keep the cheque, we go home.

I win, I keep the cheque,

we stay here two weeks rent-free.

Do we have a bet?

Know something, Dumbo?

You're even stupider than you look.

So, if I win, we get to stay here two

more weeks for free! What do you think?

I'll start packing.

Jack, just suppose there was

the slightest possibility you could win.

There's a pivotal point that escapes me.

You don't have a boat.

- A-ha! Yes, I do!

- You do?

Yes, the Barnacle.

- The Barnacle?

- Yes!

Dad...

...you're going to sail a fish restaurant?

Well, what do you make of my girl?

That's easy for you to say.

But what do we do about it, Angus?

In layman's terms, how bad is she?

- She's a total pig!

- Thank you!

- You're telling me my girl won't sail?

- Now, hold your wind!

I've not said that!

She'll sail, but it'll take work.

And a good bit of luck, too,

to find the right sail to fit her mast.

What?

He's saying that we'll make our own luck,

you dumb Swede.

Where's Angus with that sail?

There's only two shopping days left.

He's combing the entire coast for it.

He'll find it.

- How can you be so sure?

- If he don't, I'll kill him!

This is too slow. What I need for this

is a power-saw attachment.

Yeah, right.

How many more?

- Keep cutting.

- What are they for?

I really don't know,

but we need a lot of them!

So, you were a sailor, Mr Scully!

Yeah, that's right.

- You must have good vision.

- Aye.

They're perfect! Tell her they're perfect!

They're perfect!

- What are you doing?

- Taking a dirty picture.

It's the filthiest version of you

I've ever seen.

- What's with Frances Farmer?

- There's an outbreak of depression here.

- How about you?

- I'm hiding it.

- I've kept your dinner waiting.

- I'll be back in a couple of minutes.

And he's so nice.

And Gregg's so funny.

His teacher asked what happens

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