Sunset PPL Page #2

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Surgically pinned back.

- Anyways, on the day...

- [phone chimes]

we were supposed to move in,

she bails.

So I'm stuck paying for rent

on a two-bedroom

apartment in Williamsburg.

Well, maybe you should tell her.

Tell her what?

That she pissed you

off. You'll feel better.

It's important to tell your friends

when they're being idiots.

I tell Jack he's an idiot

as often as humanly possible.

[laughs]

[phone chimes]

Who are you texting?

Oh, just my mom.

Saying "Good night," and "I love you."

What?

What? I do it every night.

You text your mother every night?

Yeah.

How did I not know this? How...

I do not know.

I mean, I guess you're

usually brushing your teeth

or something...

or sometimes it's a quick snap

or a Skype sesh if you're, you know,

taking too long.

[phone chiming]

[sighs]

[phone chiming]

Sorry, James is trying to convince me

to go back to Boston.

He's making such a big deal out of this.

Who's James?

My fianc.

[scoffs]

You have a fianc?

Well, we're pre-engaged.

It's like a commitment

to make a commitment.

Well, actually, the

marriage is the commitment.

The engagement is committing to commit,

so a pre-engagement is committing

to commit to commit.

So, yeah.

Right, well,

I'm here, and he's there,

so our plans are just on hold...

- for now.

- For now?

You can't even commit to

breaking the commitment.

Because I'm not breaking the commitment.

We're still pre-engaged.

Moving to L.A. doesn't change that.

Okay, I've come to the

simple conclusion...

All females are flakes.

Excuse me?

This girl I've been texting... Amanda...

she can't commit to meeting in person

at a designated place and time.

Meanwhile, you can't

even honor a commitment

that you are three times removed

from actually committing to.

I just had a change

of plans, that's all.

I... for once, I wanted

to live my plan A.

Oh, sure, yeah. Tell me something.

How does James feel

about being your plan B?

- Well...

- Exactly.

No one wants to commit to anything.

I have an idea that

involves some committing.

Why don't you quit texting that girl

and pick up the phone and call her?

Are you serious?

No, no.

I'm in too deep to make a phone call.

I... I send one wrong

text; I make one wrong move,

it'll be radio silence.

Do yourself a favor.

Stick to math and stuff.

Fine.

Fine.

You really have no clue

how to communicate with women, do you?

Have you ever moved past texting?

I have, actually. I dated

a girl for seven years.

And what happened?

She put our plans on hold.

Kind of like you and James.

Good night.

Whoa.

- Ugh.

- My rash, remember?

Hey, guys.

- You just waking up?

- Hey.

I had the best morning.

I was up at 6:
00 and watched

the sunrise at Runyon Canyon.

Then I ran five miles

and updated my rsum.

Oh, God. Are you [bleep] serious?

I know, right? Oh, and guess what?

I have a meeting with a casting

director I found on Craigslist.

Congratulations on

organizing your own murder.

Very funny.

So, Mel, how was your

comedy skit last night?

It's a comedy show,

and it was okay.

The joke about me making out

with my stepdad didn't hit

like I thought it would.

I guess it was just too

much truth, you know?

So you and your stepdad are...

Yeah.

[phone chimes]

It's Amanda.

She says, "Bowling... "

"Okay?" Ghost Emoji.

This is in response to

"Glow in the dark bowling,"

period, "Tomorrow," period?

"Bowling...

Okay?"

Ghost Emoji?

Why did she use the

ghost? The ghost is scary.

Is she dying?

This girl is truly an enigma.

You know, 55% of

communication is body language,

38% is tone of voice,

and only 7% are the actual words spoken.

What are you saying?

Ooh, she's saying we

need to get a visual

on how Amanda reacts to your texts

in order to Gauge the

subtext behind her responses.

- No.

- New plan.

We go down to the comedy

club. You hide somewhere.

Send her texts while I spy on her

and give you updates on

her body language and tone.

Why didn't we think of this sooner?

Duh.

Isn't this all a little adolescent?

No.

I'm calling in sick.

- [groans]

- Oh, no.

- Come on, now.

- No, no, no, no.

Hey, say hi to the

Craigslist Casting Killer

for me, will ya?

That's not a thing.

Is that a thing?

You're gonna die.

[phone chimes]

[laughs]

[text message zooms]

I worked here for five years,

and I never even knew

this patio existed.

[phone chiming]

Sorry, it's Amanda.

She's telling me how much she loves

Nutella in her pancakes.

Why does she have to be so adorable?

Barf.

[phone chiming]

Oh, all right. It's Dougie.

He's got a visual on Amanda.

He says, "Amanda's mood

seems jovial and upbeat."

Hmm, she always struck

me as such a b*tch.

Sorry.

[upbeat music]

[sighs] Sorry I'm late, Talia.

I had to get my boss' laundry.

Okay.

I got ten minutes.

I just had the worst experience

at this casting meeting, Anj.

The casting director

took one look at me.

He said my ears are too

flat against my head.

I mean, they're not too flat, right?

Is there, like, a casting HR department

where I could file a complaint?

Yeah, I don't think so, Talia.

So are you just gonna pack it in soon

and head back east?

Well, no. I... I mean, I can't.

I have to give this at least

six months to a year, right?

Six months to a year? You serious?

Yeah. I figured you'd be okay with it.

I mean, we're best friends.

[scoffs] We were best

friends in college.

I know, but I feel like

we totally kept up with each other.

How's that?

Well, for one,

we wish each other happy

birthday every year,

and you've liked a few of my statuses,

and I've loved all of yours.

You can't love a status.

Listen, Talia,

I think you spend a little too much time

believing what you read on social media.

James just changed his status to single.

Who's James?

My pre-fianc.

Pre... pre what?

He... he's not supposed to be single.

- [phone buzzing]

- Oh, crap.

I got to get my boss'

laundry back to him, Talia.

[grunts]

He's single.

So you shared the raft

with that Talia girl?

Yep.

Hmm. Why didn't you at

least try to hit that?

What makes you think I didn't?

Because she's a

flesh-and-blood human being

and not a thumbnail on your home screen.

Okay, that's offensive,

and regardless...

she's prissy and annoying

and so un-adolescent,

and even if she was interested,

- which she's not...

- Mm-hmm.

She doesn't fit into my five-year plan.

You live on a couch.

Hey, cutie, can I help you?

[phone ringing]

So this is your cubicle?

Yep.

You made your job sound so much more...

exotic on Facebook.

Did I?

It's like you know

exactly what you want, Anj.

You're cool with doing

your boss's laundry

and having this cute little cubicle,

and if that's your plan A,

that's great...

but...

But what?

I... I don't know if I can do this.

I'm gonna call my professor

and see if he'll let me

re-present my thesis.

Hi, is James available?

Sure, I'll hold.

Isn't James your pre-fianc?

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