Sunset PPL Page #3

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Yes, he's...

also my professor.

[laughs]

Wow.

- This is so you, Talia.

- What?

I can't tell if you're more worried

about losing your fianc

or your backup plan.

What's that supposed to mean?

Let's be real, Talia.

Every decision you've ever

made has been based on safety,

including abandoning me in Brooklyn,

and now you're criticizing

my life choices,

as... as if I'm okay with my crappy job

and my cute little cubicle?

Andrea.

Huh?

[chuckles]

You... you... you guys

are getting half the story.

I love my job.

It's fantastic. You guys know.

It's not fantastic. It sucks.

This is me working

toward something, Tals,

taking a risk,

a chance on something I really want.

Aw...

you called me Tals.

You used to always call me that.

Oh, my God, I did, didn't I?

[laughs]

What I'm saying is,

stop clinging to your

parents and your professors.

Stop being an idiot.

[sighs]

Robbie was right.

I do feel better.

- Hello?

- Yeah.

James, hi, it's me. I...

- [indistinct phone chatter]

- Uh, no...

A... a... a break? What do you mean?

[phone chatter continues]

No, that was a joke.

You just got punk'd.

I hate acting. Let's get married.

- James?

- [dial tone drones]

James?

[both laughing]

So how many subscribers

did you say you have?

Oh, just under 5 million.

I try to be accessible

- to them, you know?

- Uh-huh.

But they're always trying to hang out

and meet in person.

And how do you handle

all that attention?

Oh, I just make excuses,

like I'm busy doing volunteer work,

or I just got on a plane,

and I have to turn off my phone.

[laughs]

- That's genius.

- Genius.

[both laughing]

Anyway, enough about

me. Let's talk about you.

- Mm.

- Any plans for tonight?

Something super cute.

I might go glow in the dark...

"Mini-golf"?

"Glow in the dark mini-golf"?

Give me my phone.

Oh.

All right, now it makes sense

why she's not giving you

a straight answer, okay?

Her plan A for tonight is to

go glow in the dark mini-golfing

with some jackass.

She's keeping you

and glow in the dark

bowling around just in case

her plan A doesn't follow through.

You're her plan B.

He's not answering my calls.

Tals, everything's gonna be okay.

If your definition of okay

is throwing away six years of school

and a four-year relationship on a whim,

then, yes, everything's okay.

- Okay?

- Okay.

- Okay?

- Okay.

Okay.

- Yes.

- Yeah!

All right, I'm done.

Talia, it's not a big deal, okay?

People come out here and

fail and leave all the time.

You had a good run,

a solid 24 hours.

You leaving already?

- I'm sorry.

- I... I had a plan.

Oh, a plan?

And let me guess... we are your plan B.

Well, what if my plan A

isn't to be your plan B?

What are you talking about?

Don't worry; I get it.

A better opportunity presented itself.

Why don't you just

hurry up on out of here

like every other flake-fest of a girl,

specifically Amanda.

I'm sorry, Anj, I...

I can't live like this.

Like what?

This lifestyle.

You know, I thought

people moved to Hollywood

because they had a dream

to pursue their plan As.

Don't tell me this is your plan A?

All of you?

Sleeping till 11:00

and then binge-watching TV all day?

Telling jokes about your bizarre,

totally inappropriate

relationship with your stepdad,

all in the name of truth and art?

Living on your friend's couch,

spending all of your time

concocting elaborate schemes

just to get girls to date you?

And live-streaming the results?

I mean, I don't... I don't know

how you guys live like this.

Listen, lady.

I am an accomplished

viral video sensation,

a leading member of

the new media landscape,

and according to a frequent

BuzzFeed commentator,

a modern-day Marcello Mastroianni.

So I would say I am living my plan A.

Do you even know who

Marcello Mastroianni is?

No, but my fans do,

and they have defined tastes, Mel.

This isn't the scum that

frequent your comedy club

looking for cheap laughs and sex.

Whoa, hold up.

The sex may be cheap, but

the laughs are very real.

Hey, and FYI, Talia,

I'm on a personal quest to find comedy

and search for why one finds

the need to find comedy.

It's meta, and it's my plan A.

Oh, let's be honest.

You're just dealing with

your parents' divorce, Mel.

I'd rather be a product of a broken home

than a product of your mother.

Hey, come on.

Yeah, man, your mom texted me today.

She called me three

times, and the last time,

she conferenced me in

with your pediatrician.

I was actually on that call as well.

Yeah, I have a very healthy

relationship with my mother,

and she's very concerned

about the heat rash

I have on my inner thigh.

And where do you think I got

that heat rash, by the way?

Sure, I spend my days

binge-watching television,

but I spend my nights

bartending in Malibu,

where I literally sweat my junk off

so I can afford to be a

stay-at-home dad one day.

Aw, baby.

And that's my plan A, Talia.

See? We are living our plan As.

Oh, yeah? What's your plan A, Jack?

Spending the rest of your life

living on your friend's couch,

because your girlfriend of seven years

left you at the altar?

Hey, whoa. Who told you that?

My good friend, Facebook.

Well, you know what, at

least I didn't have my ears

stapled to my head.

- Andrea!

- Robbie.

Babe, are you serious?

- I can't believe you would...

- I'm sorry.

[all shouting at once]

[phone chiming]

Oh, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

[all speaking at once]

Guys, I just got a text from Amanda.

What... oh, my Amanda?

She says, "Glow in the

dark bowling," period.

"Tonight," period.

She's texting you now?

Are you kidding me?

We can still fix this. New plan.

I take Amanda glow in the dark bowling.

You and Robbie bowl two lanes over,

wearing mostly glow in the dark apparel

and try to get our attention.

What are the odds that you

can bowl a perfect game?

- Impossible.

- I can do it.

Wait, stop, okay? Just stop.

You know what would

make a lot more sense?

Call her.

I thought we already went over this.

Do you want this, Jack?

Because if you really want

this, you need to risk something.

You need to stop messing around

and take a chance on

something you want...

and...

call her.

Tell you what.

I'll take a chance on what I want

if you take a chance

on what you want, and...

stay.

What?

- See what I mean?

- Once a flake, always a...

Fine.

Fine what?

If you call Amanda, I'll stay.

- Fine.

- Fine.

Fine.

So it's settled. You're both fine.

Oh, this is happening now?

- Oh, okay.

- All:
Oh.

[phone clicks]

[line trilling]

Hello?

Hey, Amanda?

It's Jack.

Oh, hi.

I'm just calling you, because...

I feel like we really

connect on a lot of levels,

and I have a hard time

putting myself out there,

because...

well, it's scary.

[laughs]

So this is me taking a chance

and calling you.

Sorry, um...

I just got on a plane,

and I have to turn off

my phone... 'kay, bye.

- Ooh, it's time to go to bed.

- Ooh, that's over.

[all speaking at once]

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