Supercondriaque Page #6

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Never mind.

This is an enormous mistake.

Get me out of here.

You're leaving.

I'm free?

No, but your death sentence

has been commuted to life in prison.

- You won't be hanged.

- I'm being deported?

It's happening today.

We can argue that once you get there

you'll be tortured.

And stop the deportation?

No, but we'll show we didn't agree.

- Any kids in France?

- No, no kids.

I made love with no condom.

No. That's not enough, Mr. Miroslav.

Faubert. Listen,

contact Dimitri Zvenka.

- Your coyote?

- My doctor.

He's known me forever.

He'll testify, they'll let me go.

In detention,

you can have no outside contact.

- Even with police?

- Why the police?

My doctor reported me missing.

Find the cops

with the missing persons file.

Sorry. We must find the cops

who are looking for you.

Yeah, look for them

so they can find me.

I'm happy to see you.

You can't know how happy!

Now, you say you know

where Romain Faubert is?

Sure, right here. That's me.

I'm not here to get screwed with.

I'm not screwing with you.

I'm Romain Faubert!

Easy!

This guy's used to

Eastern European tactics.

What did you do with Faubert?

That's enough, lighten up.

- A man's life is in danger.

- My life is in danger.

I don't want to be deported.

Give us Faubert, we'll suspend it.

Where is he?

He's right there, look!

The reflection.

That's him!

Romain Faubert, come here!

We're all looking for you!

He's a tough one. Very tough.

They're deporting Anton Miroslav

a Cherkistani

from the Paris suburbs.

Is it necessary to deport

a dangerous criminal?

A terrorist, who loves France

who was assimilating nicely.

Dimitri!

Be right back.

What did you do?!

I called,

but he'd already been deported.

Let's just call

the French Embassy there.

The Embassy in Drassjna

closed in 2003.

France has no ties

with the Cherkistani dictatorship.

Sh*t. What do we do?

- Miroslav.

- What?

Faubert...

problem.

Oh yes, problem.

Miroslav! Miroslav!

Finally, a smart person.

Brother?

No, I'm not his brother!

Romain Faubert.

I'm not Sergei!

Romain Faubert, not Sergei!

I don't know him.

Let me go.

I'm a French hypochondriac.

I'm too fragile to be here!

Please!

Send me back to Paris.

Lord, God. I understand now.

Stop this nightmare,

I'll never lie again.

I'm running a fever.

I'm sick and I have no Google.

There's no wi-fi?

I have to take my picture

for the "Eastern Europe Virus" page.

There's no water!

They'll catch us.

They're going to catch us.

You'll give us away.

Why do you get so excited?

You're forbidden to travel.

He's their most wanted rebel.

Why?!

What kind of name is that?!

What? it's a very French name.

Cyrano Da Bergerac?

Leave me some.

I can't believe this. I'm a doctor.

With Cherkistani roots!

Not every Cherkistani doctor

breaks patients out of jail!

Too late to back out!

Why go? There are 5 of them!

It's our fault he's here!

You mean that's the only reason?

I missed you so much.

He's feverish.

Who cares?

I caught everything,

I have no more fear.

Germs are my friends.

He's not well.

Anna, you're here? Big hug!

- Who's he again?

- Anton Miroslav.

The real one.

He came to replace me. How nice.

Let's go.

Dimitri, run!

Anna, stay there!

Faubert! No!

Dimitri, are you all right?

- They shot me in the back!

- It's OK!

- I'll die in Cherkistan!

- No!

Dimitri, do something!

He saved you!

I'm wounded, too! I can't move.

I'm cold, Anna.

I can't feel my legs.

It'll be all right.

We'll get you home, and well.

Don't move me!

Listen to me.

I don't want to see my boring life

flash before my eyes.

It's your face. I want to see

your face one last time.

Smile. Stop crying.

Smile for me, I beg you.

That's it.

You're stunning right now.

You move me.

The woman of my dreams.

Even if it's all over now.

Don't say that.

You're going to live, my love.

It's too late.

You called me love?

- I love you, Anna.

- I love you, too.

Kiss me one last time.

One more time.

Anna...

the final kiss.

What?

- What is it?

- You're not hurt!

Don't hit me, wait.

I swear I felt I was slipping away.

Nothing!

I do have a fever!

I saved your brother, Jeez!

What now?

No, nothing. We're all set.

- You OK to travel?

- Yes, fine.

What now?!

You came to Cherkistan for me.

I didn't deserve it.

After all I put you two through.

No one ever risked his life for me.

And I was too afraid to risk mine.

I feel so stupid.

And so grateful.

That's all.

Don't tell me

you're in love with that maniac?

My worst patient!

I'll introduce you to others,

not as sick.

Not that one.

I've been his doctor 18 years.

And for 18 years,

he's made me sick.

Dank ya, Anton.

Dank ya, Romain.

Great men are the ones who have heart.

Look.

The real Miroslav is so handsome!

That's a real man.

Look at him.

You can see the difference. Look!

Not even close, right?

He's Cherkistani, like Grandpa.

And besides...

Oh sh*t.

That's how I met

the woman of my dreams.

Crazy story, right?

Even crazier

was explaining to the judge

that I was arrested as Jean Valjean

and deported as Anton Miroslav,

who returned to Cherkistan

as Cyrano de Bergerac.

Not very legal.

But the French police wasn't proud

of issuing an arrest warrant

in the name of Victor Hugo,

so we finally reached a settlement.

I did nothing wrong!

At my wedding I thought of Marc,

who would've been so proud of me.

Married at 40, man.

Fantastic.

Especially that mandatory

pre-nuptial blood test.

The only problem I didn't foresee

about getting married

is you must kiss everyone

and everyone wants to kiss you.

But there it is, I was cured.

Divorced from my medicines

and married for real.

Dimitri!

You're right,

we're no longer friends!

- Oh?

- We're brothers-in-law!

My doctor is now

my brother-in-law!

My sister-in-law!

- I'll call you Nora now?

- Sure.

Come, my love.

So... we won't hear from him again?

We won't see him often.

- Pretty clear.

- What?

You couldn't sleep with him,

so you foisted him on your sister.

Told you not to marry a shrink!

You never listen to Mom!

Come on, Mom.

The end

of the pregnancy

Pregnancy Giving birth

Push, push.

You can see the head!

Just one more push.

Diaper Rash

Sandbox Hygiene

Spring Allergies

Foot bath

Staying Clean in the Pool

Don't worry. We back up

and jump it on 3, OK?

One, two...

Three!

Save my child!

How long was he underwater?

He wasn't underwater.

- Didn't drown?

- Slipped in the foot bath!

He drank a sip of foot bath juice!

- A sip of water is all?

- All?! Foot bath juice!

Where people stick disgusting feet!

What kind of retarded paramedics

are you?

Paramedics

aren't what they used to be.

- Know where Dad's taking you?

- To Uncle Dimitri's!

You're so bright, hon.

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