Supercondriaque Page #5

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It fills me with sorrow, but...

I'm already so lucky

to have these moments, just for us.

And forever.

Whatever happens after,

your love has changed me.

Forever.

It's Dimitri.

He's my brother, a doctor.

I asked him to look at you.

He's not my husband,

he's my brother.

He came here for you.

Bring your dog?

Let me speak to the naked guy

in your guest room.

That's Anton Miroslav,

Cherkistani rebel leader,

in my home.

Come out.

Out!

It's fine, Anton.

There is no risk.

He's my brother.

A kind doctor.

Not need doctor.

Not need.

I feel something

powerful between you two.

See, Dimitri?

Can't deny your roots forever.

So you're the famous

Cherkistani rebel leader?

Anton's teaching me Cherkistani,

I'm teaching him French.

And he is... very gifted.

Dank ya.

Oh yeah.

He speaks very well.

Why hide under the bed?

I thought there was police.

No, was not police.

Was doctor.

- Want to examine him?

- Oh yes!

A thorough examination.

He could really use one.

I'll take him to the hospital.

He needs a brain scan.

Think so?

Yes. He's much sicker

than he looks.

Don't worry. My brother

will take good care of you.

I sure will.

Cognac, please. Nothing for him.

I was worried!

I reported you missing to the cops!

I feared the worst, where were you?

At my sister's, playing rebel!

She's the woman of my dreams.

No, she's my brother-in-law's woman.

And she'll stay that way!

No, she's crazy about me.

Not you, moron!

She's crazy about Miroslav!

Maybe, but with my looks

and my sensitivity.

I borrowed his story,

but love is about who you are,

not what you do.

- You told me that.

- Never.

You told me

to dress up the ordinary.

Not with my goddamn sister!

She mistook me for him.

If you had seen her eyes.

No woman ever

looked at me like that.

The most beautiful night of love

I've ever known.

No...

You didn't sleep with my sister.

And without a condom.

Imagine me, without a condom!

I'm cured.

Romain, after all I did for you.

I'm sorry.

I'll go confess and apologize.

No way. She can't know

you're my patient.

Go say farewell

with your stupid accent

and call it quits.

She did so much.

I owe her the truth.

I can't lie to her anymore.

I'm going to hit you.

No, you're my doctor.

The Hippocratic oath!

Right.

Some ice in a dish towel, please.

Don't worry, it's all right!

I'm a doctor.

He's my patient. I got it.

How much?

That's him! Go get him!

Calm down, Mr. Lempereur.

You'll give us away.

- He's a highly trained soldier.

- Visual on the target.

Doesn't seem highly trained.

Maybe he already made us.

Arrest him already.

He might hurt my wife.

My God! He's raping her!

Go! This is rape!

Your wife's not resisting much.

Sure she's being held captive?

Stockholm syndrome.

Big T, Stockholm syndrome?

In 48 hrs? Negative.

Adultery syndrome.

What happened? Tell me.

Why did Dimitri leave you?

You're wounded.

I must speak you.

Say farewell.

Too risky now.

I leave forever.

I'll miss you so much.

- Farewell.

- Love me one last time.

All right.

Police!

Hands! Show me your hands!

Don't shoot.

Run, Anton!

Not on the carpet!

Let him go! He's a hero!

Let me go!

Go! Now!

Anton, I love you!

I love you, Anna!

- I'll get you out.

- Don't bother, my love.

You can't be extradited.

You face death in Cherkistan.

Administrative Detention Center

You're not the first foreigner

who's fluent in French.

Do I look like a revolutionary?

Jesus!

I'm not Anton Miroslav.

I'm Romain Faubert.

Romain Faubert, Anton Miroslav,

or Jean Valjean? Pick one!

That's nonsense.

I swear, I was born July 17, 1973

in the Paris suburbs.

I was born French.

- Prove it!

- I lost my ID.

- Sure.

- I didn't lose it.

The real Anton Miroslav

took my ID.

And Jean Valjean?

Where is he?

Jean Valjean is no one.

He's Victor Hugo.

How many of you are there?

Who is this Victor Hugo?

He's the author.

Of the forged ID's.

It's simple.

I posed as Miroslav,

he posed as me.

You arrested me instead of him.

He posed as me to enter France.

I for him,

and Jean Valjean by Victor Hugo,

for Anna Zvenka,

who's crazy about him.

Meaning me, because to her I'm him.

He doesn't care about her or me.

I care about her, not him. Anyway.

It's her brother's fault,

he took me to Calais.

He'll tell you

I'm me and not him

because he's not just her brother

but also my doctor.

You seem confused.

I feel like I lost you.

It worries me.

Hello, yeah.

Got her statement? Show her in.

- Who?

- Your accomplice.

This is wrong. He's a hero,

who's saving my homeland.

Free Cherkistan!

Forgive me, it's my fault.

No, it's mine.

Anna,

forgive me.

Can you forgive me one day?

Your French is so good.

Yes, I'm not Anton Miroslav.

He's at my home.

I'm your brother's patient,

and his friend.

My name is Romain Faubert.

I'm a photographer,

for an online medical dictionary.

Doctoweb. Heard of it?

I couldn't tell you.

I loved you at first sight.

I was speechless.

I was so afraid

you wouldn't love me.

But you did love me.

For what I am.

Right, Anna? Just me.

Oh, don't cry.

I feel so stupid for lying.

I hate myself for it.

Anna, you know,

even great balloons are burst

with one little prick.

Ma'am.

Ma'am, who is this man?

Miroslav, Faubert,

Victor Valjean or Jean Hugo?

Anton Miroslav.

There. Put him on ice.

Maximum security

until he's deported.

No, wait!

Let me go!

I'm not Anton Miroslav!

You're free, but don't leave France

pending investigation

of aiding an illegal immigrant

to enter the country.

Anton?

Great. The scar is healing.

Perfect.

Keep taking the antibiotics.

Seeing the real one,

I feel so stupid.

How could I have been so naive?

- Where's Guillaume?

- His mother's.

Sorry.

For what? All we did was argue.

Now things are clear.

The false Miroslav was your patient?

Why didn't you tell me?

Under the bed,

I didn't recognize him.

Your own patient?

So many hypochondriacs!

I can't distinguish them all!

Hypochondriac?

Like you didn't notice?

Liar, impostor, crook,

freeloader, sure.

Not hypochondriac.

He did make me...

No! No details.

Please, I don't want to know.

No images!

I'll call and have him released.

Then he'll be gone forever.

Wait a while.

They won't look for the real one.

I'm glad he's locked up

after what he put me through.

- Romain Faubert!

- Me, too.

Romain Faubert?

Miroslav, visitor.

No, I'm Romain Faubert.

Get over here!

This cell is very unsanitary.

Have it cleaned.

Then I'll shine your shoes!

No, thanks. Just the cell.

I'm your lawyer.

Any hand sanitizer, counselor?

I think I...

That how you say it?

I'm not Cherkistani.

- I know.

- Who told you?

You all say it.

You all lost your ID,

you ate your passport.

You forgot your homeland.

No, I didn't. I was born here.

In Issy-les-Moulineaux.

- Where?

- Issy-les-Moulineaux.

Yeah, that's original.

France won't extradite you

to the Paris suburbs.

Too close.

The suburbs are too close.

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