Superfantozzi Page #3

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a little angry with me...

TIME OUT! I need

a one year time out...

Enough!

Pina, it's halftime!

I'm saved!

- Die, piece of sh*t!

- I asked for a time out!

- You're not playing fair!

- Die, f***ing commoner!

Rubbish! F*ggot!

Die, scum! Scoundrel!

Ouch!

Ugo, take this!

This is the true sword!

Forgive me!

I did it because I love you!

I don't care if you divorce me,

it's better than seeing you dead!

- Excalibur!

- Very good. - Thanks.

Finish him!

Now let's see

who is the piece of sh*t!

You're scared now, huh?

Come here!

Pig! Commoner!

I'll teach you!

Come here! Poof!

Scum! Commoner!

Poof!

Mercy!

Victory! Victory!

My Daddy! That's my Daddy!

No, don't go! Stop!

- But it's my dad!

- Stop it!

Dad is no longer ours.

- I will not marry that rat.

- You will lose all your privileges, then.

My word is sacred.

This is your wife.

Thank you. But I do not want her.

I'm happily married.

Pina!

Wait for me! Come here!

Ugo! Ugo! Ugo!

This is my wife... and I...

I hold her in the highest esteem.

In addition, she gave me

a Beaut--...iful daughter.

- Yes.

- So you are rejecting me?

- No offense. - Why

did you enter the tournament then?

For pure sportsmanship.

Come on, Melisande.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Thank you Ugo, I respect you so much.

Excuse me, excuse me! Here is

the winner of this tournament!

Let us carry our champion in triumph!

Slowly, slowly...

I weigh a ton!

The food is ready!

END OF PART ONE:

PART TWO:

Fantozzi, because of

a terrible financial crisis

fell into abject poverty.

A penny! Give me a penny!

Mercy!

I am poor!

I am poor!

Who's there??

But... what's happening?

I am Robin Hood. I rob the

rich and give to the poor.

Thank you!

Pina!

Money!

Look here!

Look how wonderful!

Misery is over!

We're rich!

We're rich!

We are ri--

What are you doing?

I am Robin Hood. I rob the

rich and give to the poor.

It hasn't even been 20 minutes!

Death to the aristocrats!

If I catch you, I'll break your ass!

A**hole!

If I catch you, I'll kill you!

Death! Death!

To the guillotine!

To the guillotine!

Death to the aristocrat!

Death! Death!

Cuckold! Piece of Sh*t!

Kill him!

Damn, citizen Fantozzi,

The blade is stuck!

Death! Kill him!

Now they will pardon him!

If so, citizens!

- Damn.

- Allow me...

What pardon? What pardon???

Excuse me... allow me...

Come on! Do something with

this son of a b*tch Come on!

- No, Ugo! - Move over!

I'll take care of this! Come on!

Move it!

Sh*t, it's stuck!

Out, out, I'll take it!

Come on! What the hell are you doing?

Wait a minute.

How the hell...?

Wait! Excuse me...

Wait a second ...

Out, out! Piece of sh*t

aristocrat! Let me!

B*tch of a guillotine. How the f***

does it work? Damn guillotine...

that won't work!

Damn guillotine...

With the powerful

recommendation

and the good offices

of Cardinal Ortona Natta

who fancied him monstrously

Fantozzi, finally got

assigned an apartment

along the walls of

the Papal State, in Porta Pia.

This is our home.

Pina, take this portrait

of Father Ortona Natta,

and you, Maringela...

carry this, and I've ...

the ... the ... the ...

What IS this..?

This is a special bottle!

Today I want to celebrate!

Today is a big day!

Maringela, stay here.

The glasses! The glasses!

Today is a great day!

Today, September 20, 1870...

- What's happening, Ugo?

- Celebration! Fireworks!

However, today is a great day

Because finally,

the Fantozzis have a home!

Viva! A toast!

They were in the dining room

right on the front line of Porta Pia.

Hey!

The... bott--... bott- forgot...

Did you see? Such a hole!

With the annexation

of Rome...

to the Kingdom of Italy,

management changed

but Fantozzi's life did not.

Watch out!

Up..!

Although the Mayor changed

from the ferocious Cardinal Ravelli Carta...

to the Turin knight

Great Chantapuf., Hom., Lob.,

Duke Modestino Balabam.

Let's go.

He tried to have

Garibaldi poisoned

gaining the sympathy

of Count Cavour.

Then, through Masonic intrigues

and terrible machinations

He established a brilliant career,

while also still able to cultivate

his great passion: rowing .

The founding member of the Po River

Rowing Club, he wanted to found a

similar one

on the Tevere river.

You Romans are nothing more

than spineless mollusks.

And worst of all, you're all

priest-butt kissers!

But this ends NOW!

- Do you like rowing?

- Yes! It's wonderful. Yes!

My motto is:
"Rowing in Rome"!

That's my motto!

So... you are experts.

Well... well...

Can you prove it?

- I need a volunteer. You!

- Me?

- No, behind you.

- Me?

No, further back.

- Behind thi-- ME?

- Come here, moron.

- I've chosen.

- Me?

- The Expert! - Wait, what..?

- Well, well.

This... uh...

You are the expert in rowing?

If... almost... sort of...

more of a... pretty much.

- Sit.

- Thank you.

- But... there's... no... no chair.

- SIT!

Thank you.

- Here I am. Comfy.

- What are you doing??

You told me to sit down and...

I didn't see the chair.

Sorry. I'm coming.

God, it weighs a ton!

I'm going to throw up!

HELP ME!

They are slightly heavy chairs...

Eh...

What is a "scalmo"?

(EN - "Rowlock":
a brace that attaches

an oar to a boat.)

It's a man who ...

lost some ... hair? (IT - "calvo")

If you do not know, do not make sh*t up!.

Tell me then...

who invented the boat?

That... that...

- Yes?

- Francesca of Rimini.

Francesca of Rimini?!

She said a young...

It is a rumor.

I overheard it.

Now, excuse me...

Can you ask another question?

I want to

leave a good impression.

Last question.

"Eight rowers Iole"..?

(A type of boat)

Ah, yes! Terrific!

This is...

is easy. So... (gibberish)

nothing... nothing, whisper ...

So... it's like this... okay?

It is said ... Yola ...

Yola, is a friend.

- She's a woman who is a little...

- What??

Uhm, she lives in... next door

There's a door...

Knock, knock! If you knock, she opens it...

and she's with eight... sailors...

- Eight. They are Russian.

- Russians?

- No, no. One was Polish.

- One was Polish? - Uh, yes, but...

the others threw him out.

Ah, they are colored!

- They are black sailors.

- Black?

What ignorance! How could you

not know something so simple?!

Ask them...

Now, another question.

Now, I will ask...

I will ask ...

STOP RIGHT THERE!!

Starting today,

things will change!

Your careers will be depending

on your rowing performance!

Tomorrow, Sunday, we are

meeting on the Tevere

for the first

Balabam Rowing Cup!

My employees...

to the boats!

- Good luck, Dad!

- Let's go.

Come, Fantozzi.

To inaugurate the first

Tiber Rowing Circle,

Balabam selected a gruelling

counter-current regatta

with a distance of over

7 nautical miles.

- Now, what is it?

- You have to order the start.

The starting signal would be given

at 12:
00 by the Gianicolo Cannon.

(A cannon that would fire each noon.)

- Almost time...

- Yes.

- It's hot here.

- Of course!

Noon sharp!

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