Superhero Movie Page #2

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Let go.

Let me go.

Gentlemen, I think it's time we made

some personnel changes.

No, stay away!

Oh. How long

was I asleep?

Five days.

Huh.

Wait.

Wha...

Oh, Dad.

I thought

you'd live forever.

Oh.

Breakfast, Rick!

I'll be right down!

Oh!

If I can have your attention.

We are delighted to have

as guest judge

the foremost scientist

in the world.

He's a visiting professor

at Empire City University

where he's working

with the rare element cerillium.

I am so proud to welcome

Dr. Stephen Hawking.

Thank you for that warm welcome.

I have a disease

that has paralyzed me.

I cannot walk and I use

this computer to speak.

But I am not depressed,

because I have the gift of knowledge.

That's a lie.

I think about suicide every day.

But you should all be happy

with your lives.

You can walk, talk,

wipe your own asses

and then there's

all the sex.

I haven't had sex in years.

My nurse is a lesbian,

and not the hot kind.

Hey, anyone want

to get high?

- I've got some hash with me.

- No way.

White guy

in the dreads,

you know

what I'm talking about.

Can I get a what what?

Holla.

I've got a stiff pole

for your sweet hole.

Anyone? Anyone?

Pussies.

Dr. Hawking,

I am such a fan.

I'd love to show you

my project on supernovas.

You have an incredible ass...

...stromony career

ahead of you.

Wait, where's Saturn?

I'd hate to lose

my father's bowling ball.

There it is.

Great reflexes.

You have

very manly hands.

So do you.

I'm gonna go find a spot

for my project.

Yeah, okay.

Watch where you're going

in slo-mo, dipshit.

- Pfft.

- Yeah.

Go to her, stupid.

Tell her how you feel.

Yow.

Any day.

Uh... he did it.

Ow!

- I'm gonna kill you.

- Get him, Lance!

- Lance, stop it.

- Kick his ass, Lance!

Fight fight fight!

- Let's see what you got.

- F***ing break him!

Whoa!

Oh!

Damn!

Ooh!

Get off!

Get... get off me!

Yah!

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t.

# Oh no, you didn't, didn't #

- # Oh no, you didn't #

- # Oh yes, we did #

# Oh no, you didn't, didn't,

Oh no, you didn't #

- # Oh yeah, we did #

- # Oh no, you didn't, didn't #

- # Oh no, you didn't #

- # Oh yes, we did. #

Stop! Stop! Hey!

Get out of the way!

No brakes!

Get out of the way!

Ma'am, look out!

Are you okay?

- How did you...

- I can't believe it.

- You just saved that old lady's life.

- Amazing.

l... I guess.

If I hadn't pushed her out of the way,

she would've die... ah!

You should be really proud of yourself.

You're some kind of hero.

If you could excuse me.

There we go. Awfully nice of you

to help me out here, Trey.

Oh, no problem.

I'm waiting on Rick, anyway, so...

Ooh.

My God.

How did you do that?

Uh, it's easier

than it looks.

No, I don't think so.

Why don't you tell me

what's going on?

All right. Well,

there is something, okay?

But you have to

keep it a secret.

I think I have...

superpowers.

I find that

hard to believe.

All right, all right,

how about this?

Go ahead and throw

as many punches as you want.

I bet you 100 bucks

you don't land one.

Easy money.

What else can you do?

I don't know.

l... I was bitten by a dragonfly.

Well, some dragonflies

have armored skin.

I wonder if my skin is...

Well, good thing

that worked.

So you do have

superpowers.

We could be a team!

We gonna

get fame, money...

- Don't forget the b*tches.

- There's not gonna be fame

and there's not

gonna be b*tches, okay?

I didn't ask for any of this.

I just wanna be like everybody else.

That isn't what

your parents wanted for you.

You're not my father.

But I love you

like your father did.

I believe in you

like your father did.

I had sex with your mother just

like your father did.

Huh. You'll never

understand me.

Never.

That isn't what

your parents wanted for you.

What a great performance.

Well, Rick,

did you enjoy the opera?

Son, is something

troubling you?

It's so unfair.

They have nothing.

Why do we have $2 billion?

Well, your grandfather

left us $3 billion

and I made some

bad investments.

But that's nothing for you

to worry about.

But I want

to change things.

And you will.

Five generations of Rikers

have worked hard to make

this city great.

One day, Rick, people will look

to you to be a hero.

When that day comes,

will you be ready?

Give me your wallet.

That too.

People will look to you to be a hero.

When that day comes,

will you be ready?

Rick!

Ah!

Ow!

Huh? Ah!

Rick, please!

Ah!

- Dad!

- Oh, Rick, I'm dying.

- No!

- Don't worry.

My brother Albert

will take you in.

Rick, the money,

it's all yours now.

Sell all shares of a small company

called Google.

It's worthless.

Invest heavily in Enron.

Rick, I have

something for you.

Reach into

my coat pocket.

The other coat pocket.

God!

That ring

was my father's

and his father's

before him.

Earn it, Rick.

Be a hero.

Claim your...

- destiny.

Dad!

I'm no superhero.

I'm nobody!

Ah!

Shut up back there! I'm gonna kill you!

- Are you okay?

- What, you heard that?

You're nothing but an ugly,

ungrateful little whore!

Just like your mother!

- Who was that?

- My mother.

Listen, about what happened

at school this morning, l...

You really freaked us out.

I'm really going through

a tough time right now.

Me too. My parents,

they want me to go to college,

but I want

to be a dancer.

I believe in you.

You really do,

don't you?

I wish I could say

the same for Lance.

I don't know.

Is he the right one

or am I just dating him

to rebel against my father?

He doesn't want any boy near me.

That's why he installed

the electrified fence.

Well, we'll see.

You can't run from your destiny.

- Right?

- Right.

- Jill, let's go!

- Nice car.

Maybe one day you could take me

for a ride in your car.

Uh...

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, definitely.

Oh. Lovebirds.

Rick, this is

Professor Xavier.

Your powers are growing,

but you can't control it.

It's important that you...

become a hero...

train yourself to fly...

...in your ass because...

...squatting

on a glass table...

...two girls...

one cup...

You know what to do.

- This shouldn't take long.

- Well, I'll be waiting right here.

Hello, Mr. Bailey.

I've reviewed your request

for a loan, Mr. Riker,

but with no job,

no credit history,

I'm afraid

I have to say no.

But what about this?

That was last month.

This new promotion's

proving quite popular.

Look, I need

to buy a car.

Frankly, Mr. Riker, you're the worst

applicant we've ever had.

Thanks for the loan, Mr. Thompson.

This is a good boy.

There must be something I could do.

Ma'am...

rubbing my crotch under the desk

won't change my mind.

I'm not rubbing

your crotch.

I really need that car.

I don't see

how that's my problem.

This is a robbery! Nobody move!

Everybody stay down!

Stay down!

- Get down.

- Come on, Lady! Hurry it up!

- Oh.

- Come on, move it!

Oh, hey, I made the same mistake

before when I came in.

Thanks.

You idiot! You let him get away

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