Supernatural Activity Page #8

And I just made it real.

It's my show now, Damon.

Time for you to take a breather.

Blair.

Are you okay?

Run, babe. Run!

Well alright, alright, alright,

McConaughey.

You just suffered some Old

Testament justice.

- Oh no.

- What?

What's wrong?

I can't get the...

- The camera light went out.

- Turn it back on.

I can't get it to work.

Here. I'll just turn on

the light.

Blair...

You're more woman than I

deserve.

Look. I don't care about the

stupid show.

I don't care about being famous.

I don't care about your past.

I just... I want you to be

happy.

And I'd do anything for you.

I'd slay a dragon for you.

Alright. Like a mean one.

Like a real mean one.

Not a nice one like Puff.

Alright?

Like a big, badass one that

talks.

Alright? And I say that with

full confidence.

Because dragons don't actually

exist.

Not one of them. Not at all.

If you ever got Hodgkin's

lymphoma, I would cut you open,

and I would suck that sweet

cancer right out of your body.

Every last bit of it. Like

a vampire.

If you paralyzed yourself,

because you jumped off a diving

board, and you broke your back,

I would wheel you 500 miles and

I would wheel you 500 more.

Just to be the guy who wheeled

you a thousand miles.

To go see a doctor to fix

your back.

Because you broke it.

When you jumped off the diving

board and you paralyzed yourself.

If you had a penis, like if

one day I found out, like,

"Whoa. There's a set of nuts."

"And a penis she'd been hiding

from me."

"She did a terrific job

tucking."

I would move to California.

And we would still make

it legal.

Yeah. I would marry you if you

were a dude.

Do you feel the same?

I'd die for you, baby.

God.

Should we make a run for it?

Okay.

Come on.

Come on.

I mean, the pockets.

They're too small.

I don't even know where I'm

going to hide my dignity.

Things that I do for you.

"The King said, turning to

the jury..."

If we die, we die.

Tut tut, child. Everything's

got a moral.

If only you can find it.

DANNY!

"I wonder if I've been changed

in the night."

"Let me think."

"Was I the same when I got

up this morning?"

"I can almost think that

I can remember"

"feeling a little different."

"But if I'm not the same,"

"then the next question is:

Who in the world am I?"

"Ah, that's the great puzzle."

DANNY!

BLAIR, NO!

BLAIR! BLAIR!

You did good today.

Yeah. I bet you say that to

all the wabbits.

I'm proud of you.

This isn't happening.

This isn't happening.

No! Stop it!

No no no! Stop it!

Every time you turn that

thing on,

it feels like you're taking

our work home with us.

I know, but I want our eight

kids to see us

when we're young and beautiful.

We got kids. Right.

Well you keep praying for that.

So what do you want to watch?

- Cloverfield?

- No.

What about... The Sixth Sense?

No.

Wait.

What?

- I've got an idea.

- What?

Do you trust me?

I trust you.

Do you love me?

I love you.

People who disappear suffer

the worst deaths.

Not everyone who disappears

dies.

You disappear forever.

We're going to go some place

beautiful.

Like a beach.

The greatest illusion the devil

ever pulled off

was convincing the world that

he disappeared.

Blue skies, and clear water.

And palm trees.

Little huts.

Bro.

You are going to be remembered as one of

the greatest illusionists of all time.

Houdini, Tupac Shakur, Penn

and Teller, Elvis Presley,

Damon Dealer.

Eat your heart out, M. Knight.

What just happened?

Don't be that guy.

Was it a trick ending?

Were you paying attention?

I have a headache.

- That ending was our idea.

- It was.

Www dot trick ending connection

dot edu

Little brat stole it from us.

We're going to sue his ass

for billions.

Yeah. Billions.

Lawsuit.

Shoot. American Idol?

I'm going to come out with

a show next year, and call it,

A False Idol.

The winner gets to burn in

a lake.

A fiery lake.

Obviously a regular lake would

do the opposite effect.

If they were on fire to begin

with.

We play all kinds of sports.

Table tennis, foosball,

Bocce ball, tether ball.

Anything with balls.

If we invented chess,

it would've had balls.

Yeah.

It only would've been made

for not nerds.

And we both would've lettered.

Am I going to come rip in? NO!

No!

Do I come and rip down your

f***ing lights?

In the middle of the scene?

- I was just checking my lights.

- Okay. No.

Then why the f*** are you

going to walk through?

Like this?

In the middle of the scene?

What the f*** is it with you?

What don't you f***ing

understand?

Talk to me about Grey's Anatomy.

The only anatomy I want to be

focused on is God's anatomy.

The Father, The Son, and

The Holy Ghost.

Shoot.

If Lazzarus had Gregory House

as doctor,

we would've never even heard

of the son of a gun.

Believe that.

Oh good for you!

Good for you. And how was it?

I hope it was f***ing good.

Because it's useless now,

isn't it?

Unbelievable.

F***ing amateur, man.

You know, I think I want

a smallsquatch.

They're SO cute.

Do you want daddy to get you

a cute cuddly little Squatchey?

Yes, daddy.

You are so precious.

I just want to take off all

your clothes.

And put you over a stove right

now.

Stoves are hot.

Maybe flip you like a pancake.

I'll make you sizzle like

some bacon.

Sizzle!

Let's go again.

No! Let's not take a minute!

LET'S GO AGAIN!

And let's not have YOU walking

through it.

Unbelievable.

Un f***ing believable.

The amount of times he's

strolling the f*** around

in the background.

I've never had a DP behave

like this.

The Olympics told us to go home

to give everyone else a fair

shot.

Yeah.

I could drink ten beers and beat

Michael Phelps in rowing.

I could drink 12 beers and beat

Marion Jones in ball chess.

We're not saying you have to

be twins

in order to be a great scholar

athlete.

Oh no. No.

But, it helps.

No! Quit trashing my set.

Quit trashing my scene!

Am I going to trash your lights?

Am I going to trash them?

Then quit trashing my scene!

You are trashing my scene!

F***.

Real Housewives of Orange County.

More like Real Housewives of Jerusalem.

Got married, Mary Magdelene.

Of course they'd be easy to cast

because nobody knew who they were.

Because her face is covered up.

You're a nice guy! You're a

nice guy!

But that don't cut it, when you're

f***ing bullshitting around,

f***ing around on set.

What?

Oh.

Yeah? You think this is

one person?

Haven't heard that one before!

- Whoa.

- How they doing that?

I can't believe it!

They've got the same guy playing

two parts. It's a twin.

How you doing that?

Boy! Technology. It's really

going places in the movie biz.

Wow!

If I was the same guy, how am

I going to do that?

Same guy slap himself.

Yeah. How is he doing that?

How is he doing that to himself?

- God! How is he doing that?

- Yeah. Yeah.

Same guy. Same guy

playing his own twin.

- Punch himself.

- How do they do that?

- Right in the boobie.

- How do they do that?

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