Surf School Page #6

I mean, you're not gonna win,

but you're here.

Everybody get together

Try to love one another right now

You know, when we get back,

you should hang out with us.

I mean, you're almost finished

with your charity work here.

We are but a moment's sunlight

I mean, you're just new.

We didn't know how cool you were.

Well, I knew.

So what do you say we go for a walk

on the beach and talk some more?

Try to love one another right now

I don't think so.

See, um, I'm gonna go hang out

with the other freaks.

Let's get together

Try to love one another right now

Oh, no

What?

Doris live in Costa Rica.

You were amazing...

actually.

You know, um, I'm not so amazing.

You see, even if I hadn't of taken

that vow of silence,

I don't think I would have given you

the time of day.

You would have been just another

stupid, shallow jock.

Wow.

That's pretty cold.

And, um, what about now?

Well, now I realized how stupid

and shallow I was.

I realized that the day that you came

and talked to me at the beach.

You cared,

and I was... I was wrong about you.

You know, I, uh, I respect a woman

who can admit her mistakes,

especially when she looks like you.

Did I say that you weren't shallow?

No.

No. No. I think... I think you said

you're glad you've become wise enough

to give me the time of day.

And, um,

guess what time it is?

Um...

what time is it?

Where are you taking me?

Where every man in this bar

dreams of going.

There's no use fighting.

You are ours tonight!

No more. I can't.

Really, I can't.

- You can.

- You will!

Yeah. Lucky bastard.

Come on.

Really, I can't.

You must!

Oh, my God.

This has been very hard on her.

She's a hot chimp.

She'll find someone else, right?

That Larry's a big pimp.

You know, Larry, becoming a man

has nothing to do with down there.

It doesn't?

No. If that was what we needed most,

we could take care of that ourselves.

Oh. I think Taz has that model.

No. See, most American men

don't know what a man is.

The kind of man we want is here.

You are Eagle Scout, ja?

Ja.

You score 1,600 on your S.A.T., ja?

Ja.

Even Home Economic teen of year, ja?

Ja.

This is great man.

I want you to go in there winners today,

boards high, shorts low, big love!

Hope I'm not overdressed.

I could change.

I feel like my IQ has dropped

Your IQ looks amazing in this.

I thought you guys needed at least

one groupie.

So you're the one.

Hola, beautiful people,

and welcome to the second

and final day of competition

here at the International High School

Surfing Championships.

Whoa. Doris.

That can't be her.

Oh, that's her, honey.

Hi. I love you.

Hey, Rip.

Remember us?

No. Go away.

I think I'll give you guys some space.

Will Laguna A be able to hold on,

or is an upset brewing in the chunky soup

of the Pacific Ocean?

There's only one way to tell,

so ladies and gentlemen,

are you ready to shred?

That's right!

You know what would

make me so happy?

If you thought about me

while you were out there.

Whoa.

- Okay, Roach?

- Doris.

Whoa.

Oh, ho!

I got hit by a wave like that once,

except its name was Frank.

Whoa. That is a wipe out

for Laguna A's Roach.

And how are you?

Yeah! Taz!

Whoa! It's the little,

sexy Oompa-Loompa.

It's the 360.

Perfecto!

Laguna B is really being beautiful

out there today.

Bring it home to mama!

It's Taz time, baby!

Big wave!

Big wave!

And the Laguna A's Stoop is up.

- You are my warrior.

- I don't like this guy.

I don't like that guy.

He is up, and he is also down!

And look at what we have here.

It's Jordan Sullivan!

It's the new Jordan!

Oh, my Lord!

Look at him!

So handsome!

Oh, he's moving so nice,

and lookie...

Oh, shweet, shweet...

sh-sh-shweet.

Laguna B's Jordan Sullivan

plays that powder for big,

beautiful points!

Look at him go!

I could cry it's so beautiful!

I am crying.

But for the rest of the competition,

it is wipe-out city today.

Yes. They all fall down.

Only Laguna B is looking very beautiful.

What a beautiful comeback.

I suck at this.

You need to find a sub for me.

Now wait a minute, man.

Nobody gets subbed out

unless they're hurt, Mo.

Jordan, if I go back out there,

we're gonna lose.

Well, we need

somebody to surf, right?

Wait, wait, wait!

I shred. I shred!

Chika, baby, how'd you get here?

I come to help.

I shred. I shred!

Mo, we don't have

time for this, man.

Okay. Okay.

I got it, dudes.

You... got...

a baby... turtle...

in your underpants?

You speak Japanese?

No, man.

I, um, best chick surfer Japan.

Oh, okay.

"I best chick surfer Japan," man.

Yeah, I got that.

So you're telling us you surf?

Wait a minute.

You really shred?

I really shred!

Well, let's get her in there then.

Yeah, man.

Damn, baby!

You been holding out on us.

Hold this, player.

Give me your shirt.

What a joke.

Yeah. Now that's some tasty sushi.

Fresh... ahi.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very

important announcement, okay?

All right.

Let's go, Chika!

Mr. Mo Peterson from Laguna B

has seemed to have suffered

a terrible groin pull.

Oh, my poor chocolate babies.

I have to go over there

later and fix it for him.

But it says here that Mr. Mo Peterson

shall be replaced by a very beautiful

Asian baby Chika Mastsumoto.

I love Asian people, you know?

I find them really beautiful.

I remember my first summer in Bangkok,

oh, with Mr. Quan,

but, you know, this is not

the time, this is not the place,

this is not the outfit.

Whoa, man.

She can shled, man.

She can really, really shled.

Look at the way

she cut through that water.

It's like Godzilla is chasing her.

Do you have a prom date?

Whoa. Prom?

Laguna B's Chika is making chop suey

out of the competition.

Let's go, man.

We need this.

Oh, color me crazy,

but I think we have

a very beautiful contest

on our hands here today.

Prom.

Doris.

Well, amigos, it comes down

to our final set

to determine our new champions.

Can Laguna A's hunky captain

Tyler Masters hold on?

And for our underdogs Laguna B,

their beautiful leader Jordan Sullivan

is looking for the ride of his life.

It's all on you, East Coast.

Yeah. Kick some ass out there, man.

Excuse me.

I believe I'm still on the roster.

Larry?

I'm ready to rip.

What y'all put up in my boy?

Nothing that wasn't already there.

Listen, guys.

I was everybody's whipping boy

for the last 17 years,

but, see, all along,

I've been the man.

Straight A's since first

grade, an Eagle Scout,

the Home Economics

teen of the year,

and still it took me 17 years

for me to finally accept

that I am the man.

Ja. He is.

So welcome to my coming out party.

Surfs up, brahs.

You're the man, Larry.

Thanks, Jordan.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a very surprising substitution.

It's so over.

Complete annihilation.

Don't worry about it.

Larry, I know that you are man!

Go. Inhale. Inhale.

Concentrate, Larry.

You're so history, virgin Larry.

Having a little sushi party

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