Sweet Sixteen Page #3

Give us the sweeties.

That's No Balls, there,

that's the lassie. Give her one.

- Here, feed them.

- I'm not feeding them.

They're not gonna touch you.

Hairy Balls, come here.

No Balls, whatever,

come here.

Keep them f***ers there.

Here, take it, here.

Wait there.

What are you doing?

Come on.

Liam, I'm serious.

Come on.

Liam, come here.

What are you doing?

So what did you tell the police?

Just left them a message

they couldn't ignore.

It must have been

a good message.

They'll need

to take the dogs out first.

The coppers

won't go anywhere near them.

That's what the hobbies

will be for.

F***ing idiot.

They're taking this f***ing seriously.

That's the CID.

The police are going nuts

because they can't find anything.

He's f***ing going nuts

because he thinks they've taken the smack.

F***ing dancer, man.

Oh, f***ing hell,

Liam, man.

Hey, Gramps,

are your balls still sore?

Have a look at mine,

you c*nt.

They've been in his mouth

and you just put them on my face.

- Give us a kiss, Pinball.

- F*** off.

Do you want a shot?

No, man.

Can't risk losing any of this stuff.

How much do you reckon

we've got here?

Good bag.

It's good stuff and we can sell it.

Two grand.

We're gonna get that caravan.

Don't worry about that.

I used to watch my dad

do this sometimes.

He was good at it.

My teacher always used to...

wonder how I was so good

at f***ing maths and f*** all else.

I wish I could tell her how.

Sure it's safe in here?

It's only me and my big brother.

No c*nt else comes in here.

Anyhow, he's not into this.

You'll need this, mate.

Definitely.

I'm not wanting it.

I'll use my head.

These c*nts will have a go,

trust me.

- I'll be carrying anyway.

- I said I'm not wanting it.

And another thing...

not using.

I'm f***ing serious,

by the way.

- We're not junkies, right?

- I know.

And all of this goes

to the caravan.

Yeah, don't worry.

- Shake on it.

- Kiss on it.

- I'm f***ing serious.

- Yeah, so am I.

Shake on it.

Do you want to buy

any gear?

No, pal. Last time I was here,

I got ripped off.

- Do you want to see the bags?

- No, I told you.

Do you want any, lads?

What about the cameras?

All right, Mum,

it's me.

I just put the wee man

into his bed.

Chantelle's away at her night class,

so I'm landed with him for the night.

See how big

he's getting, Mum.

Sometimes he looks

right at you,

right into your eyes,

as if you're the only person

he's ever met.

Anyway, big news is we're selling fags

by the barrow load.

We're raking it in, Mum.

So I might have a wee surprise

for you when you get out.

Just 61 days, Mum.

The day before my birthday.

Here's another one

of your wee favorites.

I'll come see you soon.

Maybe I'll take the wee man.

Cheerio, Mum.

That's 4,500

to be payable

by the 30th of November.

You'll need to get

Mrs. Maguire to sign here.

When will she be back?

She won't be back

for a couple of months.

She's on a refresher course

down south.

What's her contact number?

She doesn't like to be disturbed.

It's a pretty intensive course.

What's her employment?

If you don't mind me asking.

She's part of the prison service.

See you later. Bye.

- You're a pure brass neck.

- How?

- How are you gonna pay for that?

- Do I ask about your financial affairs?

- Did you get it?

- Black and white.

But how are you gonna

get all that money?

- I'm the businessman.

- In what?

I just struck a deal

with this guy from Bristol.

He's gonna bring us up fags,

van loads of them.

- So fags will get you that kind of money?

- I've got us this far, hasn't it?

He's been selling stuff since he was seven.

I'm always falling over boxes of stuff.

Calum, wait for me.

Don't drop him.

You get the gate.

That's it.

Run, run...

Wait 'til I get the door, mate.

Get it open.

I wanna get keys cut

for all of you,

even Nighttime.

Man, the picnics

we're gonna have in here.

Go on, settle there. Get in there.

Calum. We'll get a picture.

- Hands off my sister.

- Sorry.

Hey, you.

Keep your hands to yourself.

Get in a bit closer.

Cheese!

I'm going out with your sister,

by the way.

You might fall.

Come on.

- You'll fall on these stones, Calum.

- Walk very slowly then.

See, shall I hold

your hand?

That was a nice one there.

That's the record so far.

That was about 15,

16 I got there.

Where are you gonna get the money?

Four and a half grand?

We'll get it.

- What, by November?

- Aye.

- Don't think so, Liam.

- Trust me.

He's got Chantelle's eyes.

She was gorgeous

at that age.

She was a really good baby.

I tell him about you

all the time.

- No, you don't.

- I do.

I've put your photo above his cot

so he'll know when you get out.

She's lovely.

- He's beautiful, isn't he?

- He looks like you.

He doesn't.

Chantelle's dying

to hear from you, Mum.

You should write her

a wee note.

She can't stand me.

Anyway, got

a wee surprise for you--

got a big surprise for you.

- What is it?

- Take it.

- Let me see it.

- I'll bring it up next time.

- Show me.

- No, I'll take it next time.

What is it?

- What is this?

- It's a caravan.

- It's our caravan.

- I know it's a caravan, but...

Not the council's, not the bank's.

It's ours, Mum.

Ours.

I've bought it.

- This must have cost a fortune.

- I'm getting paid a fortune.

- How much?

- Don't worry about that.

I've already paid the deposit

and the first installment.

Looks lovely,

doesn't it?

Nobody to annoy you-- no junkies,

no police. Just me and you.

And Chantelle and Calum if they want.

There's plenty of room in it.

All you need to do

is sign for it.

It's in your name.

It's yours.

Sign here.

It's yours.

Have you really thought

about this?

- Are you sure?

- I'm positive. Just going to sign?

Sign. Aye.

And another two.

How many is that?

- How many is that?

- That's 42.

F***ing hell!

They must be making a fortune.

Yeah, definitely.

If we caught them off

that wee shortcut,

we could do more business in an afternoon

than we could in a week.

Do you know who stays there?

Big Jay f***ing Ellis, serious coconut.

We'll be careful

about that--

keep a lookout a couple of days

and then we'll do the business.

You want

throwing out a window?

Stabbed in the balls?

A pitbull set on you? Don't be daft.

All we need is a couple of days

to make the contacts.

Cut them off there, do the business.

Then we'll lay low somewhere.

Where, one of your daft f***ing planets?

They'll find us there as well.

I could lose

the f***ing caravan.

F*** your caravan!

Know what?

F*** you. I'll do it myself.

- And don't come back to me f***ing.

- F*** you, you prick.

You'll f***ing never do it.

F***ing nutcase.

Where are you off to?

- I'm going down the road to get stuff.

- I've got a bit of gear here.

- Any good?

- Brilliant. Best of stuff.

- Sure?

- Better than that c*nt Ellis' anyway.

Give us a toke.

- All right, boys.

- Hi, wee man.

- You looking for any gear?

- What you got?

Rate this script:2.5 / 2 votes