Swimming with Sharks Page #5

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Guy, hey,

I just wanted to call

and say I think today's talk

was very helpful,

at least for me,

which is great,

Especially at this critical

juncture in our relationship.

Good thinking.

Anyway, tomorrow morning

on your way in

I need you to stop off

and pick up

a prescription for me.

It's some pretty sensitive stuff,

so keep it quiet.

Try not to screw up.

It's a top priority.

Don't fail me.

Sorry, Dawn.

I had to take that.

So, dinner tonight.

Ok.

Your place?

You're happy!

I hate that.

Get me packed up now.

I need to get to services.

I gotta go.

What services?

Who died?

No one...yet.

It's Yom Kippur,

you idiot.

Oh. I--I didn't realize

Ackerman was a jewish name.

It's jewish enough,

especially when the big

players are involved.

Besides, I feel a sudden

need to atone for my sins.

Marie call?

Marie?

Uh, yes, she did.

She'll be at your place

at midnight.

Great, great.

Buddy.

Yeah.

I wanted to talk to you

about Dawn's project.

Oh, yeah, she's got a great one,

doesn't she?

Yeah. Yeah.

No, a-actually I w--

I wanted to talk to you

about Dawn's project

real life.

Now...I think it has a lot

of potential. I really do.

It's young, it's--it's hot.

And it could be exactly

what Cyrus is looking for,

and I was thinking we get

somebody really big to direct,

maybe...Penny Marshall.

What?! Shut up,

listen, and learn!

Avoid women directors.

They ovulate.

Do you have any idea

what that does

to a 3-month shoot?

I mean, do I need

to say more? Next?

Ok, uh, well, what about Altman?

Altman could do it.

Altman? that hack

couldn't direct his way

out of a paper bag.

You want to talk

big directors,

think Attenborough,

think Spielberg,

think Lean.

Lean's dead.

No, he's not.

Don't you ever say that.

He's just...unavailable.

Did you get the stuff?

Oh, yes, the stuff.

I put it in the cabinet

under the sink.

It's in a brown paper bag.

No, no, no, no, no,

it doesn't belong there.

No, no, no.

Great. Great. File this.

Rogaine.

But you're not

losing your hair.

Exactly. Anticipate.

All right, listen,

about Dawn's project--

it's not a movie,

it--it's a cause.

Even the title,

real life?

All those speeches

and pronouncements.

That is not what

people want to see,

much less pay to see.

don't ever forget--

we are in the business

of developing

people's dreams,

not damning them.

Besides, Cyrus has already

found the next new thing,

this young hot director,

this f***in' Foster Kane.

Picture did very well at

the box office last weekend,

and Stella's

already wooed him.

She's got him, not us.

We're f***ed. We're f***ed!

Well, uh, y-you still got

that article in time.

What article?

It's that article on--on--

on violence in--in cinema.

It calls you "the king

of wham-bam action."

Yeah, right here.

Why does nobody

tell me these things?

I put it on your desk

this morning.

Who gave them

this picture?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Where do they get these lies?

Listen to this crap.

I'm "a blight on society"?

This has got Stella

written all over it.

These are

her fingerprints.

Fine. That b*tch wants a war,

she'll get one.

Tomorrow morning,

fire the f***in'

publicity department.

You got plans tonight?

Uh...

Cancel 'em.

I'm sorry, Buddy,

I can't. I--I h--

not for nothin', Guy.

You want to make

Dawn's project fly?

Go ahead,

put it together.

Let's see

what you can do.

Really?

Yeah. But first we need

to bury this article.

This kid reads I'm

"a blight on society,"

Forget it, forget you,

forget me,

forget the expense

account.

We're out, out, out!

You need to find

every copy in town

and destroy it.

Every copy?

Yeah. Every copy.

Find it, bury it.

But it...it's

time magazine.

It'd be probably hard

to get every copy.

Yeah? So?

Find a way. Do it.

Figure it out.

My briefcase, you idiot!

I'm sorry.

It's all in there.

Jesus Christ.

Dawn, I'm--I'm sorry, but I--

of course I want

to be there, but I can't.

I have to work.

Please...try to understand.

I have to go.

I have another call.

Buddy Ackerman's office.

Oh, good. You're still there.

Listen.

You gotta stick around

and tape this interview

with Foster Kane

tonight.

It's on CNN, 11:
00.

It's very,

very important.

We have gotta find

a project for this kid.

You got it?

Hello.

I got it.

Great. Now, did you get

rid of all the articles?

I'm just throwin' out

the last copies now.

No, no, no. You can't

just throw them out.

You have to destroy them.

Rip them up,

every copy.

Well...

It's just that

it's gettin' kind of late.

I know, I know.

things are rough now,

But they'll get better.

I promise, Guy.

If you prove you can

manage these tasks,

if you work hard now,

then you're rewarded.

You get to have some fun,

because

don't ever forget,

this job is

very big on payback.

God, what do you want?

You sick, twisted f***,

why are you doing this?

This is so cool.

I saw this in a movie once.

Matter of fact,

it was one of yours, I think.

This isn't

gonna fix things.

This isn't gonna help

any of your problems.

You're right.

But it makes me feel

so much better.

Is this good?

This ought to loosen up

the chicks, right?

Let me ask your opinion.

What is the best

gettin'-laid music?

I mean...I mean,

the Carpenters

and that kind of stuff,

just, it--

it just puts 'em

right to sleep. You know.

Well, let's--let's--

let's just suppose.

Let's suppose somebody were

to come over here tonight.

Just suppose.

Am I boring you?

I'm sorry.

What was it you...

you said about me once?

"The personality

of a roof shingle"?

Ha ha ha!

Oh, that was good.

That was funny.

Everybody laughed.

Ohh...well...

I don't want to bore you,

so let's get back to work.

Ahh, gotta be one

in here somewhere.

Every kitchen drawer

has one.

You know, it's funny.

I only dreamt

about doing these things

all those lonely nights

in the office,

all those weekends,

playing out all these torture

scenarios in my head.

Thinking about it

again...and again.

You can't imagine

what I've come up with.

Whatever you're

thinking of doing...

please don't.

Shh.

Paper cuts.

Now, they can be a b*tch.

Occupational hazard,

I guess.

But I'll bet it's been a while

since you've had one, huh?

Me?

I'm startin'

to get used to 'em.

Ohh!

God.

Stings, doesn't it?

Well...

like I said,

you'll get used to 'em.

Now, the ones that

I could never handle...

Say "ahh."

Come on, don't!

You're only gonna make it

harder on yourself.

Forget about the shitty

mint flavor on these things.

The real pain in the ass

is when you get a paper cut...

on your tongue.

No.

Aah!

Buddy Ackerman's office.

Hello, Mishka.

No, he's not in.

Mishka, Buddy is

devoted to only you.

Well, I'll tell you

what you do.

Get your cute little butt

over to his house by midnight.

Ok.

Bye-bye.

This could be the biggest

picture of the year--

real life,

directed by Foster Kane.

I like it.

It smells of money.

It was a great idea, bringing

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