Swimming with Sharks Page #6

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Dawn and Foster together.

I would have never thought of that.

I gotta admit,

you may not be a complete

idiot after all. Ha ha!

Your ideas here

aren't half bad,

but I hate the title,

I hate the ending.

It's too depressing.

You think we're gonna be ready

for Cyrus by next week?

Cyrus? Uh, well...

don't you think

we ought to wait

for Stella

to get back?

Stella? F*** her!

Listen.

We take this to Stella,

she's just gonna take

credit for all your work,

for all of our work.

No. F*** her.

It's kill or have your contract

terminated early. No, no.

We need to go

directly to the top.

We need to go to Cyrus.

But hold on a second.

Dawn's bringing

the project to Stella.

Remember, you passed.

You like Dawn,

don't you?

You consummate the relationship?

Dawn? Well...I mean,

Dawn and I--

I don't give a f***.

Listen, I'm just sayin'--

Shut up and listen.

Women...

they respond to one thing

and one thing only:

Success. Now, this

isn't just me talking.

This is scien--

Sit down.

This is scientific fact.

It is primitive instinct

for a woman like Dawn

to choose a mate

who can best provide

for her needs,

for her wants. Now,

it's no offense to you,

but...you are

only an assistant.

Sure, I mean,

you're my assistant,

but, you know,

nonetheless...

an assistant.

Dawn, on the other hand,

is a...

is a producer.

Her car phone bills

are more than your rent.

So just how long do you think

you're going to last?

D-Dawn and I,

we--we--

All right,

I want to help out.

Because if you put

this project together,

you're not going to be just

the assistant any longer.

So...

I'm gonna give you

the chance...to play hero.

You...get to be

Dawn's white knight

in shining armor.

You.

You have to convince Dawn

to bring the project

back to me.

Not to Stella.

To me.

Now, I could do it,

but there'd be

no payoff for you.

I just don't know

how I would--

You do this thing...

you convince Dawn

to go this way...

and then you and I...

are going to run this place.

The both of us.

All right.

I--I'll do it.

He said

I was indispensable.

Look.

He gave me a beeper.

I think he--he's

beginning to respect me.

I think he's really

beginning to respect me.

Oh, God.

Please wake up.

He's just got you

on a shorter leash,

that's all.

Oh, you're doing it all wrong.

Move.

So...

Let me guess.

He gave you

that team horseshit, right?

"Win one for us,

you and me."

Exactly what is it

that we are supposed to do?

Not much.

To find a new title,

new ending...

you have to cancel your

meeting with Stella.

Unbelievable.

Un-f***ing-believable.

Listen, all

Stella wants to do

is take credit

for your work.

Now, I already

convinced Buddy

to go directly

to Cyrus.

Now, he can't do that

if you pitch it

to Stella.

I don't want to jeopardize

your relationship with Stella.

I'm sorry, but this is

the only way--

Stop.

Do not apologize.

It's a sign of weakness.

Move.

Don't tell me what

needs to be done, Guy.

I know the drill...

the politicking,

the compromises...

the spilling of coffee

on ourselves

in the race to kiss ass.

Oh. Actually,

Buddy did that.

I let--I let his coffee get cold,

and he threw it at me.

But I learned

a valuable lesson--

Never let Buddy's coffee

get cold.

And...this?

It's a bagel stain.

Bagel stain?

Yeah. Well, I put too much

cream cheese on his bagel,

so he threw it at me.

But, again, I learned

a very valuable lesson--

Never put too much

cream cheese on Buddy's bagels.

Yeah. He really

respects you.

I think

we should wait.

I will wait,

and I want

to go to Stella.

No. Bu--Buddy wants

to do this now.

Look, if this picture

is big,

we'll--we'll go make

our own movies. We'll--

we just have to deal

with Buddy on this one.

Do you hate me?

Is that it?

I mean...

You do. You do.

You hate me.

Oh, God.

I don't hate you.

I just...

want you to make

the right choice.

I say we go

with Buddy.

Ok...

but know this...

I have seen

what he can do.

You cannot get into bed with him

without getting f***ed.

He plays

a zero-sum game.

That's his drill.

Nobody wins unless

somebody loses.

Yeah, well...

As long as

I don't lose you.

Loss.

They say that

real pain...

real suffering...

is caused from loss.

Loss of family...

and loss of love.

Loss of the things

that matter most.

I like it.

It's a little different

look for you, but I like.

Ok.

Now...

let's forget

all the other sh*t

we've been doing here

tonight, ok?

Let's--let's

start thinking big...

uh, grand...

abbondante, if you will.

I'll be right back.

Don't go anywhere.

?? Ta-da ??

So?

What do you think?

That's it?

That's all?

Come on!

Look at yourself.

Look at your face.

Look at your

precious hair.

I mean...

There's no way

that Rogaine's

gonna help you

out of this one, my friend,

I'm tellin' you.

You are f***ed up.

Fine.

You want to go back

to the hot sauce,

that's fine by me.

What?

The mirror.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Shut up.

Shut up!

I said, shut up!

Oh...that's brilliant.

That's f***in' brilliant.

Ha ha ha!

This is genius,

sheer f***ing genius.

This is great work, Guy.

Thanks. Well, you said

you needed an ending.

And to set it

in a laundromat.

It's perfect. It's real.

It's believable.

Right, right, right. And--

and what's more romantic

than a woman scrubbing

your shorts, right?

Oh, that's great.

Oh, really, good work.

Really? Well--no,

thank you very much.

We have a go movie.

Cyrus is gonna

green-light this right away.

I'm gonna show him

these notes.

He is gonna love it.

It's "Say good-bye, Stella"

and "hello, Buddy and Guy."

To hell with that.

Don't worry about that.

It's minor details.

He's gonna be too excited

about content

to worry about spelling.

Congratulations.

You did it.

I am not gonna forget this.

Get ready to meet

the chairman of the board.

I'm gonna tell Cyrus

about you.

You earned it.

You deserve it.

Oh, sh*t.

I left my belt

at Marnie's last night.

I can't see Cyrus

like this.

Oh.

Buddy Ackerman's office.

Dawn.

Buddy loved the notes.

Yeah. He's in a meeting

with Cyrus right now.

Yeah, Cyrus.

Cyrus.

They're coming

down the hall right now.

Let me call you back.

I'll call you back.

Let's face it, guys.

than a girl scrubbing

a guy's underwear.

You know what I mean?

You think the kids

are gonna respond to this?

Oh, absolutely.

Cyrus, it speaks

to their generation,

a generation

that's been dissed,

disillusioned,

disappointed, dismayed.

Right, Foster?

That sums it up

perfectly.

Well, good.

You can never tell

with you kids these days.

Let me just grab this,

and then we'll go eat.

Uh-huh.

Now, look, you just gotta

fix these spelling errors.

Oh, I'm sorry. I should have

checked it first.

I just had Guy

type it up for me.

But you know what? I was

just too damn excited.

Can you blame me?

Oh, no. I admire

that kind of enthusiasm.

This is a great project.

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