Swimming with Sharks Page #7

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Buddy, I'm not gonna forget

who brought it to me.

You keep this up...

I'm gonna have to make you

president of production.

Me? Naw, I just want to

hit a home run for the team.

You all right, man.

Let's get somethin' to eat.

Yeah. I'm hungry.

Oh, yeah.

Buddy Ackerman's

office calling...

No, man, listen to me.

I'm tellin' you, I'm not

gonna let that one issue

be a f***in' deal-breaker

on this.

It's im--

it's impossible, since--

No way.

Well, you go back, and

you make a counteroffer--

Where the f***

are you goin'?

I was goin'

to the bathroom.

I--I need to go.

Well, forget

about what you need

and concentrate

on what I need.

I need you here.

Get me

on another f***in' call.

Shut up for a second.

Listen to me, all right?

I'm tellin' you, I don't care

what Stella said.

You...close the deal.

We're gonna lose the kid.

All right? Get back to me.

This is Buddy Ackerman's

office calling.

Fine. I'll have him

get back to you.

Buddy Ackerman's office

calling.

Uh, fine. Yes.

We'll hold.

But please get him.

Water?

Uh, this is Buddy Ackerman's

office calling.

I don't want any water.

Buddy Ackerman's office

calling.

Thank you.

Leave word.

Buddy Ackerman's office

calling.

Fine. Please.

Well, leave word.

Yes. We'll call back.

Arrrghh.

Wyoming.

What? Oh, you

goin' western now?

Forget about Montana.

Wyoming is--is...

it's clean.

It's--it's pure.

We'll--we'll never leave

except if you need something.

We'll only go into town

if we need something.

We? Aw.

Yeah. You're gonna

want to come, aren't you?

Mm-hmm.

I could write.

No more sucking up

to these...

egotistical idiots.

No more politicking.

No more bad scripts.

Most of all...

no more Buddy Ackerman.

Hi. This is Guy.

Leave me a message.

Guy, pick up the phone.

I know you're there.

Come on.

Pick up. Pick up.

Pick up. Pick up.

Hello.

Hey. How ya doin'?

Uh, I'm fine.

I'm here with--

Great. That's great.

All right,

let's do it.

Script status.

The new draft's in.

Notes by Monday.

That's great.

And the deal?

Signed and delivered

Friday night.

Ha ha!

Any new, uh--

No. No new hair products

this week.

All right. Ok.

No, that's great.

No, no. Great.

Um...

?? give me Mindy's number ??

Weekend's almost over, everyone,

so enjoy it while you can.

We're gonna continue on

with the Sunday Marathon,

nonstop, commercial-free...

I don't have it with me.

It's at the office.

Jesus Christ.

You can't do anything right.

You know I was

seeing her tonight.

How many times

have I told you,

"Your head has

gotta be a rolodex,

or your ass is gonna

be on the line"?

I know, I know,

I know. You're right.

Now, get down to the office

and get me her number.

Sss...

Come on.

I have to go to the office.

You were just there.

I know. It'll just

take me a minute.

I gotta get

a phone number.

For what?

One of Buddy's bimbs?

Just try

to understand, ok?

I--I have to do this.

No, you don't!

You have played the doddering

houseboy long enough.

I know, I know,

but I made a commitment.

Oh, and you think that

means something to him?

You don't have to leave.

I'm coming right back.

Look, do me a favor.

The next time Buddy calls,

just say to him,

"I don't care."

No, really. Try it.

Say it with me.

"I don't care, Buddy."

Come on.

You really can't do it,

can you?

Wyoming, my ass.

You know, when you figure out

what it is you really want,

why don't you

give me a call?

You.

What?

You are

the only thing...

in my miserable,

shitty, little existence

that I have

to look forward to.

You're the only real thing

that I have left.

Then say it.

Say you don't care.

Come on, say it.

Fine. Leave.

Your project's set up.

You don't need me

anymore.

You got what you wanted,

and I got laid.

"Gotta give action

to get action."

Yeah, that's it.

That's it exactly.

Congratulations, Guy.

You just graduated.

You're gonna make a killing

in this business.

Protect my interests,

serve my needs.

Christ, you're dense.

No wonder

your wife left you.

That's another thing.

All--all this time

that I've worked for you,

I still don't know a thing

about your ex-wife.

Jesus, not a trace.

Not even a picture

in the whole house of her.

What...

was she beautiful?

Yes.

Did you love her?

Yes.

Oh.

Well, how nice.

When's she comin' home?

Mmm. I forgot.

She left ya.

Ha ha ha ha.

What do you want?

What do I want?

What do I want?

What do I want?

Well...

Tell me a story.

Tell me about

a young Buddy in love

with a woman who

just didn't want him.

Was it a painful separation?

Did you--

did you find her

in the passionate throes

of a secret lover, hmm?

Did she take you

for everything you had,

or did the lousy b*tch

only get half?

She died.

Oh. Is that all?

Ha ha.

Well, boo hoo.

What a line.

"My wife died.

"Can you come home with me?

Hold me. Love me.

F*** me." Christ.

God. You are such an a**hole.

Christmas Eve,

She was on her way

to the mall.

I was supposed to

have gone with her.

We hadn't started our

christmas shopping yet.

But it was

gonna be simple.

Just some stuff

for our parents.

Money was tight,

and...

shopping was

a hassle anyway.

We even promised

not to give

each other gifts.

On the way,

there was a...

car that had

broken down,

so mallory

pulled over to help.

I always told her

she was such a busybody,

but she just called it

being nice.

She got out and...

asked if everything

was all right

or something stupid.

Anyway, it was a scam--

bunch of punk kids

stealing cars.

They shot her.

I was stuck

at the office

wrapping christmas gifts

for my boss.

Lot of gifts. We had

a good year that year.

I was there until 3 A.M.

And the whole time,

I'm thinking to myself,

"oh, boy...

"she is gonna be pissed.

When I get home,

I am a dead man."

Anyway, I got home,

got the message,

went down to the hospital

to identify her.

It was a whole week

into the new year

before I found them,

these stupid wind-up

toys and a note.

"In the constant

rat race of life,

don't ever forget

to unwind."

She was never really

any good at writing notes.

I didn't know.

Oh, "I didn't know."

Imagine that.

Boy genius here

didn't know something.

Hey, look...

that is no excuse

for your behavior.

You think you know

it all, don't you?

You're 25 years old.

You're a baby.

You don't know sh*t.

Look, I know what's fair, ok?

I know what's right.

Look, I can appreciate this.

I was young, too.

I felt just like you.

Hated authority,

hated all my bosses,

thought they

were full of sh*t.

Look,

it's like they say--

if you're not a rebel

by the age of 20,

but if you haven't

turned establishment by 30,

you got no brains...

because there are

no storybook romances,

no fairy tale endings.

So before you run out

and change the world,

ask yourself...

What do you really want?

?? When the plane lands ??

?? And the cracks ??

?? Give in the land ??

?? And the rocks turn ??

?? Into sand ??

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