Swindle Page #5

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- Yeah. Oh, yeah.

The blue ones are super rare,

but yours is red,

unfortunately.

- Red.

- Oh, yeah, red.

Yeah, the red ones

are a dime a dozen,

almost worthless.

You know,

I wouldn't waste Mr.

Lefevre's time with this.

Oh.

Monies?

Okay, now just a little more.

Now, we just, um, wait for

the rejuvenating agents

to, um... To rejuvenate.

Rejuvenate...

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

No talking.

No moving.

There you go.

Red, worthless.

Vorthless?

Yeah, worthless.

Floogin.

Jorgen has der disappointment.

Oh, yeah, yeah,

I understand, yeah. Ugh.

You know,

I like you kids.

I hate to see you

go home empty-handed.

How about I take

that off your hand

for, say, oh, 10 bucks.

How's that sound?

Oh, 10 American dollars.

Ah, monies.

Oh.

Yeah, monies, eh?

Suckers.

So, I pretty much

rocked that, right?

Well, your accent was iffy,

and maybe if you could just...

Rocked it.

I booked a room.

Yes, Mr. Swindle.

Oh, "Swindell."

This is my room?

Well, you get

what you pay for.

Oh, what's that smell?

Yeah.

Your stinky cheese

and squid plate,

as requested.

No.

Here we go.

My, my, look

how you glow.

I look like

the bottom of a baby.

Merci beaucoup.

Oh, you're very

welcome, Mr. Lefevre.

All a part of the

Lakeshore Hotel touch.

You are an angel.

Okay, all right.

Please, look at

my skin. Worship me.

I am beautiful.

Please, touch Lefevre.

Oh, yes.

Oh, I'm beautiful.

Swindell took the bait.

Jah, bonus!

Time to celebrate.

Hello, room service?

Yes, I'd like six...

Two.

Eight hamburgers,

four pizzas,

and what desserts

do you have?

Anybody else need anything?

Nothing for me, Sis,

but I could really use

a massage of ze foot.

Awesome.

Whoa, he looks

exactly like "Le-fever."

Ugh, Lefevre.

Nah, I don't care.

Yeah, I do.

Yeah, just add six

sundaes, please, thanks.

Amanda, that's amazing.

Thank you.

It's just some concealer and some blush

and a metric ton of putty.

Is that nose gonna hold?

It only needs to work

for a few minutes.

Hey, Captain.

You look like you're

worth a lot of cash.

Not as much as you, Honus.

Yeah?

Spa day with Mr. Lefevre?

His treat?

All right, yeah,

I'll be right there.

Things are looking up.

The spa's on the

second floor. Enjoy.

Swindell's on the move.

You're already late.

I move at a relaxed pace.

Whatever. I'll buy you a few minutes.

Au revoir, everyone.

Good luck!

Bye!

Going up.

And going down.

And going up again.

And then down.

And up.

And down.

And up again.

And up.

Ooh!

Hey, why not?

Let's go down.

Help!

Help!

Do up again.

Oh, ow!

You know what,

Melissa?

I'll say it.

I am impressed.

You are the most dangerous

girl in the seventh grade.

Aw, thanks, Bro.

Bonjour, madame.

Somebody stop this thing!

Ah, Mr. Swindell.

I have your squid

and limburger sandwich.

Uh-uh... No.

Ew. I'm done.

Ah,

Monsieur Swindell, come, join me, please.

Oh, hey, Mr. Lefevre, is that you?

But of course.

Could there be two such

noses as this in the world?

Oh, I guess not.

Oh, please, lie down.

Oh, okay.

You are in for

a treat, mon ami.

I have requested for you

my favorite masseuse.

Oh, nice, 'cause I actually

have been feeling

a little tight.

A massage

will feel real nice.

I know,

fantastic, non?

She is a master

with the muscle.

Yeah, you know,

I can honestly say...

Oh!

I've never felt

anything like it.

Oh!

Wait a second.

His nose.

Oh, no, this is all going south.

Hey, mayday, mayday.

Pull out. Pull out.

Your nose is melting.

I'm working here.

Abort mission.

Ow. Well, now

I'm in pain.

Mayday, I'm in pain.

My head hurts.

Abort mission.

Ow.

Thank you. I'm feeling

less hysterical now.

Stick to the plan.

Amanda, time for your date.

On it.

Oh.

Whoa.

You look really good in black.

You should

wear it more often.

Thanks.

That's really sweet

of you and um,

kind of awkward.

I think she likes me.

No.

Uh-oh, Lefevre is

leaving his room.

No, well, if Swindell

sees him, we're done.

If he sees Griffin,

we're worse.

Excellent time

for improvisational theater.

Come on, Darren.

Wait. Wait.

Who's my character?

No, no, wait, wait, wait,

hey, hey. What's my backstory?

Ooh, this

should be good.

Donald P. Luddler, I have never

been so angry in all my life.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this,

what's this all about, Darlene?

I saw you with that girl by the pool!

You should have whiplash the

way you were taking her curves.

No, I swear. I swear.

I didn't even notice

her or her curves.

Oh!

Why? We're acting.

Just stay in the moment.

Just stay in the

moment.

You are such a liar!

No, no, I am not.

This elevator is not going

anywhere until you admit it.

Pardonnez-moi. I have a very

important auction, and I must...

You stay out of this!

Hooked in.

Sending you

the call now.

Oh...

This

man will not leave me alone.

What man?

Ivan Volkov,

big spender,

big collector.

Been searching for

years for the same item.

A red-haired

Captain Cybertor figure.

Oh, really?

I had one

all lined up, but alas,

the sellers,

they never arrived.

Oh, ha, ha.

Those things happen.

Oh!

Yes, but

he keeps calling me.

I do not like disappointing

a man like Volkov.

He is, how you say,

a ruthless man.

One cannot overstate

the gravity of...

Of the gravity...

The gravity of...

Mayday, mayday, pull out.

Mission abort.

Um...

Whew!

I'm in.

Acknowledged.

You'll never catch Donna

Hernandez doing this.

Um...

Uh, Mr.

Lefevre, you okay there?

Uh, yes,

yes, I'm quite all right.

Oh, no, you're not.

Yes, I am.

It's just, uh, uh...

My allergies seem to be bothering me.

Lie still!

All he ever does is

criticize me. Okay, oh.

He thinks my dreams of

becoming an actress are stupid.

Hug me.

I want a hug.

What?

I, I never said that.

I never did.

Oh, you know what?

You didn't have to.

Oh, the hillbillies...

Oh, look at the time.

So much to do.

Oh, thank you.

Au revoir, Mr. Swindell.

What? Hey, where you going?

I said lie still!

Oh, maybe I can...

No, hey, stay!

He doesn't take acting

seriously at all. It's just...

It's one big joke to you.

Yeah, I do, I do joke around.

All right, but I don't

mean nothing by it.

Well, it means

something to me.

It hurts, Dar...

Donald, I mean.

You know,

ever think of that?

No, no, I didn't.

I never meant

to hurt you, Savannah...

Or Darlene,

and I promise that I will

never hurt you again.

Yes, yes, yes,

this is what you must do.

Just as I must attend

my auction.

Au revoir.

Bye, now.

This acting thing

is kind of awesome!

See, a performance can be a constructive

outlet for life's frustrations.

Yeah, yeah, even more

than pounding things.

Mmm-hmm.

Ooh, went

smooth as glass.

Broken glass.

Well, it worked, anyway.

How's Amanda doing?

She's almost there.

All right. Ben!

Yep.

Oh, you're up.

Is the moustache working?

Overtime.

All right.

Moustache,

can you see him?

Yes.

Here he comes.

Uh, no, no, it was

great. I feel very loose.

Here's my card.

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