Sydney White Page #5

OK.

No! George, no.

You don't wanna be powerless.

No.

Please don't give up.

Did the Avengers give up when the Black Knight

sprayed New York with that foam?

No.

No.

With the help of a criminal glue specialist,

they freed everyone.

I'm your criminal glue specialist!

Yeah!

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Who's running for president?

Not it.

Not it.

Not it.

(speaks African language)

(sighs)

Oh. I never win at that game.

Terrence it is.

Let's get started!

(# "Revolution" by The Veronicas)

So...?

Hm...

Mm-hm...

Mm. Nice.

Loop in, and then you've got a bow.

I did it!

Oh, you did it, yes!

Hey, Terrence.

Bye, Terrence.

This is the gym.

A lot of people hang out here.

We can work off some of those doughnuts

and maybe even talk to a few people.

I... I don't know.

Come on. It's a Saturday afternoon.

What else would you be doing?

Oh, we always do play fantasy video games

and then reenact them.

(incantation)

Are you not entertained?

Mm, tempting.

But I think we're gonna stick with this.

Oh, l-I can't do it. My arms ache.

I think I may have muscular dystrophy.

Muscular dystrophy is a birth defect.

Lenny, they're 2 pounds.

Each.

You got it?

(muffled grunt)

What?

I said yeah, I got... Ow!

Damn, Embele, you're going to town.

Where'd you get all that energy?

I just awaken an hour ago.

(laughs)

It's OK. You'll be fine.

It fell on my foot.

(man) Rachel Witchburn has led the student council

to great heights over the past two years.

In addition to repaving Greek Row,

Rachel beautified Greek Row's grounds

and expanded parking privileges for Greek Row.

Re-elect Rachel Witchburn.

Vision. Leadership. Progress.

I'm Rachel Witchburn

and I approved this message.

Can you believe that?

Who would fall for that?

(clapping)

George, no.

No.

(sighs)

Prada, Gucci,

Chanel, Armani.

(screams)

(# "Pump the Fist" by K Militant)

(Sydney) Freedom!

(Jeremy) Freedom to the 7th Power!

Come one, come all.

Get down with Freedom to the 7th Power.

Don't you wanna learn about

Freedom to the 7th Power?

Oh, yeah, check us out.

(Spanky) This is the spot.

Freedom!

(music stops)

I don't think we're making much of an impression.

Yeah. I was worried about that.

Aha.

Free drinks! Free drinks over here!

Freedom to the 7th Power! Free drinks!

Serve and socialize.

Who wants a burger?

Hi.

Hi.

Uh, I just wanted to apologize

for what happened.

I really am sorry.

It's OK.

So, how's life as a Kappa?

Oh, you know, it's... it's good.

Hey, is one of these...?

Yes, Lenny. The greenish one

is your gluten-free soy patty.

Excellent.

Do you have any extra of those?

Are you allergic to gluten too?

Oh, all my life.

And it is so hard to find

a decent gluten-free soy patty.

Well, today's your lucky day

because these are sensational.

Lenny, this is my friend Dinky.

Oh, it's so nice to meet you.

Dinky. Right? Nice to meet you, Dinky.

(Rachel) Um, Dinky?

We're over there.

Hi, Sydney. It's nice you found

some people you fit in with.

Mm, it is nice, isn't it? If only there were a place

where a superficial, materialistic b*tch could fit in.

Oh, wait, there is.

(laughs)

Whatever. It's so cute making

your little friends run for student council.

It is cute, and it'll be

even cuter when we win.

Just so you know, non-Greeks never win.

Yeah, just like you said new people never

make it on your "Hot or Not" list, right?

Let me give you one tip, Sydney.

I'm the last person you wanna mess with.

No. You're the first.

Come on, let's go.

It was nice seeing you, Sydney.

You too, Lenny.

(stutters)

You realize she was

flirting with you?

Yeah.

No!

Who's gonna win today?

Sharks gonna win today!

Who, who, who?

Sharks, sharks, sharks!

(cheering)

Who's gonna win today?

Well, when the temperature drops below 60

and there's a headwind,

the forces on the ball create

an unfavorable magnitude and direction.

The resulting spatial vector leads

to an increase in the Sharks fumble ratio.

I anticipate a double-digit loss.

(man) The dude's a freak.

I don't know about you,

but I gotta change my bet.

Wait a minute.

I think we graduated with that dude.

The election's coming up

and we could really use you. Do you think...?

(shrieking)

(man) Hey, dudes, throw the Frisbee back.

Go on. Someone pick it up

and throw it on back.

(man) Right here!

Ow!

Heads up!

(# man hums "When I See You Smile")

(whispers) Dude,

I think you have the wrong desk.

Yeah. You definitely

have the wrong desk.

# When I see you smile

# I can face the world

# You know, I can do anything

# When I see you smile

# I see a ray of light

# I see it shining right through the rain

# When I see you smile

# Baby, when I see you smile at me

# Ooh

(whispers) Tyler, have you lost

your mind?

No, but I will keep singing

unless you agree to go out with me.

Just one date.

No.

# When I see you smile

OK!

Pick me up at seven.

And it's not a date.

Done. But dinner's served at five.

Nice work, Beta freshmen.

Dismissed.

So, what do you guys think?

This is what I wore to my college interview

so I thought it would be, you know,

a nice first-date outfit.

No, it's terrible.

You look like Barbara Walters.

And you said this wasn't a date.

It is not a date.

We're just friends and, you know,

I don't like him like that.

Only a little. You know, occasionally.

When his shirt's off.

I have no idea.

That's how it always starts.

You never plan these things.

First you're friends.

Then you're all, "Hi!

Are you here to fix the copier?"

Argh! You are no help.

Why are you so nervous?

You must have been on plenty of dates before.

I don't know if you have figured this out,

but I'm not exactly the prom-queen type.

Yeah, but you're pretty, Sydney.

Thanks, George.

But I've had about as much

dating experience as you guys.

Whoa! Speak for yourself.

(groaning)

(Lenny) I see what you mean.

You need something sexy.

But warm.

Purple's pretty.

(Terrence) My mom used to wear mauve.

(Gurkin) What about fuchsia?

(Lenny) That looks like it itches.

(Jeremy) Let me see.

Three quarters of first dates

end in disappointment

for one or both parties,

studies show.

I hope you beat the odds.

Me, too.

If you try any funny stuff I will unleash

the power of the internet on you.

I will register you as a sex offender

in all 50 states and Canada.

Wow.

Yeah!

And I'll kick your ass.

(Sydney) Hi.

You look...

Thanks.

What was that all about?

That's nothing. You should see the plumbing.

(bang)

What was that?

That's just Terrence.

You get used to it. Let's go.

Bye, guys.

Bye, Sydney.

All 50 states, pal.

(Embele speaks African language)

(# "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney)

So, your idea of a date

is to convert me?

Now it's a date, huh?

Hey, guys.

You serve meals to the homeless?

I had no idea.

He had no choice.

Not unless he had some other plan to get

that infraction off his permanent record.

Me and the Betas,

we got in some trouble.

Let's just say a few

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