Syrup Page #8

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She's interviewing a new creative.

It's in the Village.

It's a lunch thing, I think.

Thank you.

Man:

Thank you for lunch.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

- This is Scat.

- I have heard so much about you.

- You ignore my calls for this?

- It's not what you think, Scat.

Of course it's not what I think,

because it's you.

- You're never what I think.

- What do you care?

- What do I care?

- Yeah, what the hell do you care?

They're grooming you for VP.

You've got some great ideas,

and I look forward

to seeing how we can incorporate them

into ZephCo's current campaigns,

which will probab--

She always starts

with those f***ing ideas.

- Welcome to ZephCo.

- [chuckles]

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

[Horns honking]

[bell ringing]

Man:

We're live in 30 seconds.

- Did you make the market?

- Man #2:
Just-- yep.

- Makeup's clear.

- Want me to roll the tape?

- Perfect.

- Here you go.

Man on TV:
Some sad breaking news

coming to us tonight.

Damien White, a young teenager,

age 16, has committed suicide.

He left behind a suicide note

that reads,

"I love everybody.

I just wish

I could have been cooler."

On the back, a hand-drawn...

Let me just check your microphone.

- TV:
Allegedly Damien...

- Jen, it's Six.

...believed himself cool enough

to buy Kok, the ultra-elite

- celebrity energy drink sold only to...

- ls Jameson there?

- ...100 celebrities until yesterday...

- [exasperated sigh]

...when it was released

to the general public.

[Chattering]

TV:

Celebrities have been tweeting...

Good evening, I'm Lisa Simmons.

We have some sad breaking news

coming to us tonight.

- Peter:
We have sad breaking news.

- Man:
Quiet please!

Reporters:
Damien White, a young

teenager, age 16, has committed suicide.

[Street noise]

Pete:

Hello hello.

What are you doing here?

Look, I need a place to stay.

That Three, man--

she took my job at Addy.

You knew that, right?

- No, I didn't.

- Yeah.

They had to fire someone

for letting you and Six go.

Hey, I'm sorry about...

It's all right.

It's just business.

- [Distant baby crying]

- Yeah.

I'm thinking of changing my image.

Really?

I liked the whole silent... thing.

Yeah, but it's kind of limiting.

There's only so far

you can go with that.

You know...

you were a really good arch-enemy.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Especially after you got me fired.

- I was fuming.

- [chuckles]

- Thanks.

- [crying continues]

I'm in love with a girl.

I don't even know her real name.

You, my friend,

are in love with an image.

- Is that bad?

- Eh...

[laughter]

Six quit.

She quit...

because of you.

Man on TV:
...cool enough to buy their

product. How do they recover, John?

How does ZephCo turn this around

and use it to their advantage?

Well, they don't.

Right now ZephCo should be

entirely on the defensive.

A young child has committed

suicide because this company

refused to sell them a drink.

This is a prime example

of corporate bullying

as far as I'm concerned.

- Man:
"Corporate bullying"?

- Is this real?

John:
That's because companies

usually don't refuse to sell...

He actually killed himself?

Yeah.

Yeah, the family already

lawyered up.

John:
What usually happens

in circumstances like this

is that ZephCo would

identify a fall guy,

someone in the marketing department,

and terminate them publicly...

He's just an intern, Scat.

They're grooming you for VP.

I feel like I'm losing you.

Jameson won't take any of my calls.

You're supposed to let me go.

That's why you came here, right?

You know, I was a ballerina.

I had dreams...

like the kind we sell to people.

[Chuckles]

I was going to go

to the Levinheimer Academy...

travel around Europe.

It wasn't just a goal, Scat.

It was an absolute.

And then I went to Yale...

and I went to London.

I did my audition.

And they told me I was

missing a muscle in my calf.

I couldn't even do

the battement glisse.

A simple move.

I was missing a muscle in my leg

and there was nothing

I could do about it.

Even

I decided then...

that no one was ever going

to be able to tell me

what I could and couldn't do again.

Even

And now I'm here,

sitting in a bar,

waiting for you to fire me.

- Ironic.

- Is that real?

What?

Do you know how hard it is for me

to tell you the truth?

So you wanted to be a ballerina?

I wanted to be...

Right. Okay.

Try our new rejuvenating formula.

You'll look younger, feel younger...

- [door opens, shuts]

- Man on TV:
We're here with the head

of New Products

and Marketing for ZephCo.

Mr. Scat, thank you for joining us.

Scat:
I only wish it was

under better circumstances.

I want to offer

my sincere condolences

to the White family

on behalf of ZephCo.

Man:
Mr. Scat, it doesn't

seem like the death

of an innocent teenager

has affected you.

If you're asking me

to acknowledge the fact that

through this ad campaign

people will literally

kill themselves to get their

hands on what I'm selling...

then yes.

Look, as far as I'm concerned,

this is one of the most successful

ad campaigns of all time.

It will certainly go down in history

as one of the most daring.

I know who Damien White is--

or who he was.

Because I fell in love

with the dream too.

But I don't want to spend

the rest of my life

chasing after an enigma.

And neither did Damien.

Scat on TV broadcast:

Look, I don't think that anybody

is taking the death of this

teenager very seriously

because they're still

buying my product.

This means that you've made

a conscious decision

to buy this drink

after Damien White's death--

after his suicide--

because it's even cooler.

In fact ZephCo's stock

has tripled since the suicide.

So if Damien White's death means

anything to you, then don't buy Kok.

[Chuckles]

But that'll never happen

because you believe

in the dream, the fantasy.

Buy Kok. Become perfect.

Scat!

What are you doing?

Just going for a walk.

Grand exit?

Scat on TV:
When will you realize,

when will people understand...

Yeah.

...that it's all fake?

Don't you [beeps] get it?

None of this is real, it's all fake.

The entire thing is fake.

Let me-- let me explain

something to you.

If you live in a medium-sized city,

you see 800 ads...

You ruined all this for me.

Michael.

That's my name.

What's your real name?

Scat on TV:
And you're so used to this,

you don't even unders-- you don't--

you don't realize it, okay,

but your body does.

Your heart rate increases,

your pupils dilate.

Your breathing becomes faster

and you become alert.

Because you've been tapped.

My name is Six.

Looking at a billboard

is supposed to feel

like love at first sight.

But it's not. It's not real.

None of it's real.

It's marketing.

It's been a pleasure

doing business with you, Six.

Without marketing,

you wouldn't know who you are.

Maybe...

sometimes you need

to walk away from that.

Because you haven't

been changed

and you haven't been perfected.

You're just drinking

the same old stuff.

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