T.J. Miller: No Real Reason Page #8

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TRUST THAT I'LL DEFEND HER

ATTACK DENVER,

YOUR WEAPONS WE RENDER

- USELESS

- CHUG COORS,

TIP THE BARTENDER

- DENVER, DENVER

- CALLING FROM DENVER

- ADDRESS UNKNOWN

RETURN TO DENVER

ONLY GO TO GAY PRIDE

WHEN I'M ON A BENDER

AIN'T LIKE TEXAS WOMEN

DON'T HAVE TO GUESS

THE GENDER:

ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS,

I'LL EAT IT IF IT'S TENDER

YOU'D EAT BULL'S BALLS TOO IF

YOU HAD HUMAN BALLS, WENDELL

- DENVER, DENVER

F*** YOU, WENDELL

- GIRLS HOT ARE HOT TRANS FA OR TRANSGENDER

IF YOU'RE DAUGHTER'S

BAD AT SCHOOL:

THEY'RE GONNA SUSPEND HER

PREP A DEEP TAN IN PUEBLO

PRETENDER:

WE GOT THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS

IN ALL OF THEIR SPLENDOR

BUT NOT ROCKY,

'CAUSE WE ARE A CONTENDER

- DENVER, DENVER

CALLING FROM DENVER

- ATLANTA'S

WHERE THEY PLAYERS PLAY

BUT THEY LIVE IN DENVER

RATHER DRIVE STONED,

AVOID A FENDER BENDER

WANT TO MARRY HOLLY

BUT OBSESSED WITH KENDRA

WENT TO WAR WITH TEXAS

THEY SURRENDERED

WHAT'S MORE, ALL THAT STUFF

ABOUT US EATING TEXAN BABIES

IS FOLKLORE:

WE DO DRINK:

THEIR BLOOD THOUGH

SERIOUSLY,

F*** A BUNCH OF TEXANS-ER

- DENVER, DENVER

- CALLING FROM DENVER

- I GRABBED YOUR ASS

'CAUSE IT WAS LOOKING TENDER

DON'T SEND ME TO JAIL

I'M A FIRST-TIME OFFENDER

GO AHEAD:

ASSIGN A PUBLIC DEFENDER

'CAUSE OUR LAWYERS ARE

THE F***ING BOMB, Y'ALL

HAVE A DOPE-ASS

LEGAL REPRESENTATION!

[grunting]

LEGAL EAGLES AND LEGAL BEAGLES,

Y'ALL!

DON'T FORGET WHAT YOU HEARD!

GO FORTH AND SPREAD THE WORD,

Y'ALL!

DENVER, COLORADO!

BALLERADO!

303 DOPEST LAWYERS

IN THE COUNTRY, YO!

ONE TIME FOR J. KENT MILLER.

DOIN' LAW, YA'LL!

CHECK IT!

YOU KNOW HOW THOSE

COLORADO LAWYERS DO, WHAT!

THEY ALWAYS GOT TO BACK UP

TO DRINK, MAN!

WHY?

'CAUSE THEY JUS PASSED THE BAR, Y'ALL!

- T.J., GOD DAMN IT.

YOU RHYMED "TENDER"

WITH "DENVER" LIKE SIX TIMES.

- MORE LIKE THREE.

- THAT'S STILL A LOT.

- THAT'S TRUE.

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