Tales from the Golden Age Page #5

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- As if you didn't eat aspic!

No, we'll make sausages with him.

- And blood sausage?

- Definitely!

What was that?

I think that's for the plugs.

Unplug everything. It's safer.

The freezer will defrost.

So what? Let's be on the safe side.

I'm scared stiff!

Quiet! There! It's all disconnected.

Don't you worry.

Now how will you turn on the gas?

Shouldn't you have turned it on first?

It would've been dangerous.

Quiet now. Behave!

That damn stupid pig went for me!

What have you broken?

Listen to yourself!

"What have you broken?"

The soda water bottle, that's what!

He bit me and you're worried

about breakage.

I think I've cut my leg.

I'm bleeding.

Shall we turn the light back on?

We're not turning anything on!

Go to the bathroom and clean up.

Danut, go out on the balcony

until I call you!

- Can I listen to the radio?

- No!

- It runs on batteries!

- So what?

You want to blow us all up?

Don't listen to anything!

Help me, I feel faint.

Don't frighten me!

It's nothing. It's just the strain...

Did you take your tablets?

No, I'll just lie down.

Not here. You'll stain the couch.

Sit on the edge of the bath.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

- Want to smoke?

- Don't light it!

- It's a Carpati!

- Don't light it!

Why not?

- We'll all blow up!

- Blow up?

Our gas cylinder leaks.

We're out in the open.

Nothing will happen.

You're stupid.

You are!

I won't give you anything tomorrow.

Danut!

- Stay outside.

- I'm freezing.

Don't move.

Can we turn the lights on?

We need some fresh air first.

OK, I'm going in.

- Is he moving?

- Shut up!

What have I done now?

I couldn't see.

It's stopped grunting.

We should've waited longer.

It's very late.

We've got to burn it

and cut it up yet.

Luckily we had that gas.

It's all gone.

- What?

- The gas.

We'll ask Grigore for theirs.

They don't cook much for Christmas.

- They might become suspicious.

- We'll give them something.

After all the trouble we've had!

We won't give them anything.

Come on...

go out onto the balcony,

I'll turn the lights on.

Wouldn't it be better to

wait until morning

and do it then?

What if he's not dead

and he starts grunting again?

My God, I'm so afraid.

I'm a soldier, remember?

If I catch fire,

throw a blanket over me.

The camel hair one?

Which one?

The yellow one.

That's fine.

No water. Just the blanket

and call an ambulance.

Stop talking like that.

I'm already scared.

Shout when you're outside!

- Did something happen?

- No! It was just a draft.

Does it still smell?

No.

Not anymore.

OK, I'm putting the fuse back in.

Great! We got away with it.

Thank God!

Is it moving?

It looks dead.

Here, use this.

Take that thing away!

Stone dead.

- We did it!

- Thank God!

Now, the hard part.

Look how hairy it is!

- Get the blowtorch!

- No, I'm afraid.

Really! I am.

Stop it, you're driving me crazy.

Look, I'll light a match.

Afraid, afraid...

You drive me crazy.

Look!

You scared me!

See?

Close the window.

You're letting the heat out.

Aren't you asleep?

No.

- We're burning the hair.

- Now?

What's it to you?

Good morning!

Good morning. Sit down.

I wanted to tell you...

Danut, what happened to you?

- Nothing.

- Nothing?

He faced a pig explosion!

A Pig explosion?

A Pig bomb.

Enough!

Danut, sit down.

What, Georgiana?

Today's my birthday.

Happy birthday! Best wishes.

Let me give you a kiss.

Lead us in, please.

Happy birthday!

Two, three and...

Legend has it that the family used

what remained of the animal

for the seasonal celebrations.

THE LEGEND OF THE AIR SELLERS

Good afternoon!

Good afternoon. Yes?

- Is your mother home?

- No.

- Your father?

- No. They're both at work.

That's a bit of a problem...

I'm an inspector

from the People's Council.

I'm Crina.

One of your neighbors complained

about dirty tap water.

Yes, it's yellowish.

We need to do a thorough check

in your apartment.

Sorry, I can't let anybody in.

Look, here's my ID.

ID or no ID,

if my parents aren't home

I can't let anyone in.

Can you get me a sample?

So I don't have to come back.

A sample?

Some water to determine

the cause of the pollution.

What should I put it in?

Any clean recipient

clear of any chemicals.

Even a jar's fine.

I'll have a look.

I'll close the door.

No problem.

Is this OK'?

- It's a bit dusty.

- It's fine.

Is that all?

See, no need to be scared.

How much were the French classes?

Isn't it 50 lei per class?

I included the transport.

That's 100 lei.

She bought flowers

for her teacher.

And she bought something else,

I don't know what...

How much does she want now?

All her classmates are going.

Your soup's on the table, dear.

So when are you going

to this holiday camp?

It's not a camp.

May 1st is a Thursday this year

and we've no school on Friday.

You're going on your own?

Teachers are coming,

but we've organized it.

And where will you stay?

At the Forum, in Costinesti.

The Forum costs 300 lei?

It's 300 lei all included:

Transport, meals, everything.

Listen, we'd like you to go,

but this Monday

we have to pay an advance

on the Dacia and we're a bit short.

So, can I go or not?

Yes, but stay at aunt Didina's

in Constants.

It takes half an hour

to go to Costinesti by bus.

You've been saving money

for this crappy car for years.

It'll be yours one day.

Better to take the bus

than eat yoghurt all your life.

Crina!

Crina!

Coming to the party?

No. I've just had a fight

with Dad.

Come on, they have a video player.

Shall I ring at your door?

No, don't bother.

Shall I wait for you?

I'm coming down.

I'm going down to talk to Roxana.

Don't you have

a French test tomorrow?

I've studied all week.

Be back by 10.

- Is he a student?

- I think so.

He's lent our block

his video player.

What's his name?

Bughi, I think.

I was trembling so much

I forgot my own name.

- He's damn gorgeous!

- Shut up!

Hi, what's your name?

Crina.

Crina, what a nice name.

Shall we dance?

No.

Why?

I don't want to.

Later, maybe?

Maybe.

Make room for my friend.

This is Bughi.

- Crina.

- Bughi.

What film is it'?

Bonnie and Clyde.

Didn't you ask me

for a bottle today?

You said you were from

the People's Council.

Give me a smoke.

I'm going.

Stay...

Wait, where are you going?

Where's Roxana?

- Who's Roxana?

- Your date!

She's a nice girl

but she's not my date.

Listen, I'm not hitting on you

or anything,

I just wanted to say sorry

for today.

I don't usually do that

in my neighborhood, but...

Do what?

You know,

knocking on doors and...

So, what's the trick?

You want to know?

You've made me curious.

It's a long story.

Make it short.

It's a trick to make money.

I've got that much.

But what's the scheme?

You want to know too much.

Afraid I'll steal your trick?

You never know...

Come on,

I need to earn some money, fast!

Then work for it like honest folk.

Is that what you do?

Never mind me.

So, you won't tell me.

You have the time?

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