Tales of Manhattan Page #7

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YOU OUGHT TO:

TRY IT SOMETIME.

HELLO, LARRY!

HELLO, LARRY,

HOW ARE YOU?

HEY, WAITER, HOW'S

ABOUT A LITTLE SOMETHING

FOR BROTHER BROWNE

TO WET HIS WHISTLE WITH?

HE'S WAY BEHIND!

WHAT'LL IT BE,

SOME OF MRS. WALDORF'S

CHAMPAGNE,

OR WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE

SOMETHING WITH HAIR ON ITS CHEST?

I NEVER TOUCH IT.

I ALWAYS SERVE IT,

BUT NEVER TOUCH IT MYSELF.

O.K., PAL, BUT DO ME

A FAVOR, WILL YOU?

JUST HOLD IT.

NOW, DON' FORCE YOURSELF!

JUST HOLD IT.

HA HA HA!

WHOA! DON'T WASTE IT.

THAT'S PRECIOUS STUFF.

WE'VE GOT TO CONSERVE.

WELL, IF YOU DON'T DRINK,

YOU CAN STILL EAT.

WAITER, ANOTHER PLATE!

NO, THANK YOU, BUT I

JUST ATE ON THE PLANE.

WHAT PLANE?

I JUST FLEW IN:

FROM THE COAST.

YOU'VE BEEN IN CALIFORNIA ALL THIS TIME

AND DIDN' LOOK ME UP?

I JUST PASSED THROUGH.

UH... I'VE BEEN IN CHINA.

THAT MUST HAVE:

BEEN INTERESTING.

SEE ANYTHING OF THE FIGHTING?

A LITTLE.

WHEREABOUTS:

IN CHINA?

ALL OVER, FROM CHOP SUEY TO CHOW MEIN.

SAME OLD LARRY. BOY,

AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.

LARRY, COME HERE.

I WANT TO HAVE:

A TALK WITH YOU.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

GOING TO BE:

IN TOWN LONG?

OH, JUST A FEW DAYS

TILL I SEE:

HOW THE LAND LIES.

HAVEN'T GOT YOURSELF

TIED UP YET, HAVE YOU?

NOT EXACTLY, BUT-

DON'T. I'VE GOT A JOB

THAT'S RIGHT DOWN YOUR ALLEY.

WELL, I NEVER TURNED

DOWN A CLIENT YET.

TAX MATTER.

JUST MY MEAT.

CAN YOU BE AT MY OFFICE

TOMORROW AT 9:
30?

I PLANNED ON-

MEET MY PARTNER:

McREYNOLDS,

GET AN IDEA:

OF THE SETUP.

IF IT'S A QUESTION

OF MONEY,

WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT.

WHERE ARE YOU?

40 WALL STREET.

WELL, I'LL BE THERE.

GOOD.

I SEE YOU'RE STILL LATE TO CLASSES.

PROFESSOR LYONS.

YES?

THIS ABOVE ALL,

TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE,

AND IT MUST FOLLOW,

AS THE NIGHT THE DAY,

THOU CANST NOT BE FALSE-

NOT THEN BE FALSE!

NOT THEN!

ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO

REWRITE MR. SHAKESPEARE?

WELL, NOT THEN

BE FALSE TO ANY MAN.

RIGHT. HA HA!

HOW ARE YOU, MY BOY?

FINE, SIR.

YOU?

I'M ALWAYS FINE.

COMES WITH HAVING A CAS IRON STOMACH AND NO AMBITION.

OH, YES.

I JUST GO ON VEGETATING

YEAR AFTER YEAR,

LIKE THE IVY:

ON THE OLD CHAPEL.

YOU REMEMBER IT?

WHILE YOU PROSPEROUS

LAWYERS AND DOCTORS

AND BIG TIME FINANCIERS

LEAP FROM ONE TRIUMPH

TO THE OTHER,

GETTING RICH...

AND FAT...

FAT, ANYHOW.

SOMETIMES I CONFESS

I ENVY YOU BOYS.

THEN AGAIN, I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S RATHER FUN TO SIT WITH

THE OTHER STICK-IN-THE-MUDS

AND WATCH:

THE PARADE GO BY,

SEE YOU BOYS:

BEAT THE DRUMS:

AND BLOW:

THE BIG BASSOONS

WHILE WE TAKE:

ALL THE CREDIT.

IT'S BEEN 25 YEARS NOW,

PROFESSOR.

HERE WE ARE AGAIN.

MUST SEEM LIKE A LONG TIME TO YOU BOYS.

I REMEMBER WE WERE

GOING TO LICK THE WORLD.

YEAH. SAVE I FOR DEMOCRACY.

SHOW THE OLDER GENERATION

WHAT WE'D DO

WITH THEIR MESS.

WE WERE YOUNG, FULL

OF VINEGAR, REMEMBER?

I WAS THINKING:

OF THAT TODAY,

LOOKING AT MY CLASS

THEY'RE KIDS,

LIKE YOU WERE.

OH, A LITTLE

BRIGHTER, PERHAPS.

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

THEN I THOUGHT, "WELL, THEY

HAVEN'T CHANGED THE WORLD MUCH.

"COME RIGHT DOWN TO IT,

THEY HAVEN'T DONE

SO BADLY, EITHER."

TOM, YOU'VE MADE A PRETTY GOOD

JUDGE, EVERYTHING BEING EQUAL.

THANK YOU.

JOHN, YOU'VE CUT OUT A LO OF APPENDIXES IN YOUR TIME

AND BEEN OVERPAID

FOR IT, TOO.

LARRY HERE'S

BEEN IN CHINA.

NOW THAT'S QUITE

AN ACHIEVEMENT IN ITSELF.

FARTHEST I EVER GO WAS PUGET SOUND ONE SUMMER.

THAT MUST HAVE BEEN,

OH, 40 YEARS AGO.

I'VE LIVED ON THE MEMORY

OF IT EVER SINCE.

YES, YOU HAVE

YOUR FAMILIES.

YOU'RE DOING YOUR JOBS,

AND YOU HAVEN' FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS.

WHEN YOU GE AS OLD AS I AM,

YOU'LL DISCOVER

THOSE ARE THE THINGS

THAT REALLY SPELL SUCCESS

AND HAPPINESS.

DING-A-LING

A- LING A-LING!

HEY, PROF, DIDN'T YOU

HEAR THE BELL RING?

THAT MEANS:

CLASS IS OVER.

WE HAVE SOME SERIOUS

SINGING AND DRINKING TO DO.

DON'T LET ME STOP YOU.

I NEVER COULD.

COME ON, FELLAS.

NOW GET READY.

OH, HEN, MY BOY,

HOW ABOU GIVING LARRY

ONE OF YOUR NICE LITTLE

OLD CORONA CORONAS

BEFORE WE START.

YOU KNOW, THE GUY

MUST HAVE SOME VICES.

SORRY. I JUST HAD

TO ORDER SOME MORE.

HANK HERE TOOK:

MY LAST HANDFUL.

YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE

SOMETHING THESE DAYS

TO SELL INSURANCE WITH,

BESIDES PERSONALITY.

HELLO, BROWNE.

HELLO, WILLIAMS.

DID SOMEBODY SAY YOU'D

BEEN DOWN IN CHINA?

THAT'S RIGHT.

LONG?

OH, UH, QUITE A WHILE.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

OH, SAME OLD STOMPING GROUNDS, CHICAGO.

SHALL I PUT I ON THE BILL, SIR?

NO, THIS IS MY TREAT.

THERE YOU ARE, BOYS.

HELP YOURSELF.

THE CHAMPION FUMBLER.

LET ME GET IT.

LET ME GET IT.

NO, THIS IS ON ME.

FUNNY. I'M SURE I HAD I WHEN I CAME IN.

LOSE YOUR WALLET?

LOCK THE DOOR, SOMEBODY!

DON'T ANYBODY

LEAVE THIS ROOM!

A CRIME'S

BEEN COMMITTED.

WHAT'D YOU HAVE IN IT,

ANY GOOD ADDRESSES?

NO. I HAD CONSIDERABLE

MONEY IN IT.

I'M RUNNING DOWN

TO WASHINGTON TOMORROW.

I CASHED A CHECK

BEFORE LEAVING THE OFFICE.

DON'T WORRY. WE'LL GE TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

I DON'T LISTEN TO FRED

ALLEN'S MIGHTY ART PLAYERS

FOR NOTHING.

ME ONE LONG PAN:

DETECTIVE, TOO.

UH, KEEP YOUR PLACES,

EVERYBODY!

WE'VE GO TO RECONSTRUCT THE CRIME.

WHO WAS STANDING

NEXT TO YOU, HENDERSON?

OH, LARRY THERE,

I BELIEVE.

OH, BROWNE, EH?

SPLIT WITH ME, KID, AND

I'LL GET YOU OUT OF IT.

WAIT. YOU WERE STANDING

NEXT TO HENDERSON, TOO.

THAT'S RIGHT, BUT YOU

SAT NEXT TO HIM AT DINNER.

SURE.

GENTLEMEN, THERE'S

ONLY ONE THING TO DO.

SEARCH EVERYBODY!

THANK YOU,

MR. DETECTIVE.

I DON'T THINK

THAT'LL BE NECESSARY.

I THINK IT'S AN EXCELLEN IDEA, ALL IN FUN.

DON'T YOU, BROWNE?

I INSIS ON BEING SEARCHED.

ANYTHING TO GET OU OF THIS MONKEY SUIT.

I HAVEN'T WORN THIS

SINCE I WAS MARRIED.

DO WE HAVE TO TAKE OFF OUR PANTS, TOO?

WHAT'S THE MATTER,

BROWNE?

WHERE'S YOUR SENSE

OF HUMOR?

COME ON, LARRY.

LET'S SLIP OUT OF IT.

TAKE YOUR HANDS:

OFF ME.

YOU'RE GOING

TO GET TOUGH, EH?

HERE'S WHERE I'LL TACKLE

THE BEST TACKLE FOR

HIS WEIGHT WE EVER HAD.

CUT IT OUT!

GET AWAY FROM ME!

COME ON, FELLAS.

LET'S GET IT OFF HIM!

IT'S STILL

A FREE COUNTRY.

YOU CAN'T FORCE A MAN TO

TESTIFY AGAINST HIMSELF.

NOT IN MY COURT.

COURT!

THERE'S AN IDEA!

WE'LL HOLD COURT.

WE'LL PUT I TO THE JURY TO DECIDE.

YOU GUYS OVER THERE,

YOU BE THE JURY.

12 GOOD MEN AND TRUE.

GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY,

TAKE YOUR PLACES.

I'M GOING

TO SIT RIGHT HERE.

WILLIAMS, YOU'RE A BIG SHO AMBULANCE CHASER. BE D.A.

I SHALL BE DELIGHTED,

UNLESS BROWNE WOULD PREFER

ME AS A CHARACTER WITNESS.

JUDGE, YOUR HONOR,

YOU'RE IN SESSION.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT'LL IT BE WORTH

FOR ME TO DEFEND YOU?

THE JOKE'S GONE

FAR ENOUGH.

LET'S GET BACK

TO OUR SINGING.

THE PRISONER COULD

EASILY PUT A STOP TO I BY PERMITTING HIMSELF TO BE SEARCHED.

CLEAR THE WITNESS BOX.

GENTLEMEN, I DECLARE THIS

COURT TO BE IN SESSION.

YOU WILL NOW PROCEED, MR. PROSECUTOR.

YOUR HONOR...

GENTLEMEN:

OF THE JURY,

IN VIEW OF:

THE CIRCUMSTANTIAL NATURE

OF THE EVIDENCE:

IN THIS CASE,

THE STATE WILL BE COMPELLED

TO CALL INTO QUESTION

THE CHARACTER OF THE PRISONER AT THE BAR

AND WILL ENDEAVOR TO PROVE

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