Tales of Manhattan Page #8

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BY THE TESTIMONY

OF EYEWITNESSES:

THAT THE CULPRIT,

BY HIS PAST CONDUCT,

HAS PLACED HIMSELF BEYOND

THE PALE OF DECENT SOCIETY.

IS HE ON THE LEVEL?

ORDER!

ORDER IN THE COURT!

SIT DOWN, EVERYBODY,

OR I'LL HAVE YOU

THROWN OUT!

YOUR WITNESS,

MR. BROWNE.

IT'S UH... IT'S QUITE

ALL RIGHT, YOUR HONOR.

MY LEARNED:

COLLEAGUE AND I:

WERE JUST GIVING YOU

A LITTLE IDEA:

OF HOW WE CONDUCTED

OUR CASES IN CHICAGO.

EH, WILLIAMS?

GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY,

YOU DON'T KNOW

WHAT IT MEANS TO ME

TO BE HERE TONIGH WITH MY OLD FRIENDS

OF THE CLASS OF 1917.

I DON'T MIND TELLING YOU

I THOUGHT OF YOU MANY TIMES.

OH, BOY. I SURE WISH

I'D KNOWN THAT.

I GOT A LITTLE POLICY

MADE TO ORDER FOR YOU.

HOWEVER, THAT'S

BESIDE THE POINT.

WHAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN

IS TO HEAR MY ANSWER

TO THIS CHARGE THAT'S

BEEN BROUGHT AGAINST ME.

FRANKLY, I WISH

I'D COME PREPARED

TO MAKE:

A BETTER DEFENSE.

BUT, BELIEVE IT OR NOT,

SPEECHMAKING:

WAS THE LAST THING

IN MY MIND TONIGHT.

WHAT I REALLY CAME FOR

WAS TO, UH...

WELL, YOU MIGHT SAY

I WAS CHASING:

A WILL-O'- THE-WISP.

AND FOR A WHILE THERE,

I THOUGH PERHAPS I'D FOUND IT.

ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS

TALKING TO MY OLD ROOMMATE

SOUPY DAVIS:

AND PROFESSOR LYONS.

BUT I EXPECT I DIDN'T.

KNOW WHY?

YOU'RE TOO SOBER.

LIKE ME.

MY DEFENSE,

SUCH AS IT IS,

BEGINS ON THE DAY

WE GRADUATED,

A DAY IN JUNE 1917.

IT LEADS FIRS TO AN ARMY TRAINING CAMP,

THEN OVERSEAS.

THE ARMISTICE,

HOME AGAIN, CHICAGO.

THE LAW.

NOTHING VERY UNUSUAL

ABOUT THAT.

NOR I'M AFRAID

ABOUT THE NEXT CHAPTER

IN THE LIFE OF ONE

WHO, AS YOU RECALL,

JUST BARELY NOSED

WILLIAMS OU AS THE MAN YOU VOTED

MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED.

A GIRL, MARRIAGE,

A HOME,

AND A SUCCESSION

OF THREADBARE CLIENTS

WHO ALWAYS SEEMED

TO BE GUILTY,

BUT WHO NEVER SEEMED

TO HAVE THE FORESIGH TO STEAL ENOUGH

TO DISPROVE IT.

MY WIFE...

YOU-YOU-YOU REMEMBER HER,

WILLIAMS.

I OUGHT TO.

I INTRODUCED HER TO YOU

AT THE SENIOR PROM.

PROBABLY ONE OF THE FEW

MISTAKES YOU EVER MADE.

A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

OH, MAGNIFICENT WOMAN,

WHO HAD EVERY REASON

TO EXPECT ALL THE THINGS

SHE MIGHT HAVE HAD

IF SHE'D MARRIED...

SOMEONE ELSE.

OH, SO THAT'S WHAT STARTED

YOU PICKING POCKETS, HUH?

CHERCHEZ LA FEMME.

THE JURY WILL:

DISREGARD THAT REMARK,

AND I FINE YOU:

ONE HIGHBALL.

THEN A WONDERFUL AND

BEAUTIFUL THING HAPPENED.

PROHIBITION.

THAT NOBLE EXPERIMEN OF BLESSED MEMORY

CAME TO DWELL AMONG US.

NOWHERE, I ASSURE YOU,

WAS IT GREETED WITH SUCH

OPEN ARMS AS CHICAGO.

ALMOST OVERNIGHT,

BUSINESS BEGAN TO PICK UP.

MY CLIENTS-

YOU REFERRED ONE OF THE FIRS TO ME, YOUR HONOR. THANK YOU.

MY CLIENTS, WHILE NO LESS

LIKELY CANDIDATES

FOR THE JUG THAN FORMERLY,

WERE SUFFICIENTLY

WELL-HEELED BY NOW

TO BE REGARDED AS THE VERY

PILLARS OF OUR COMMUNITY.

FORTUNATELY FOR ME,

THEY WERE BOTH GENEROUS

AND GRATEFUL.

I CONFESS,

FOR A LITTLE WHILE,

I SAW MYSELF:

GETTING STINKING RICH.

BUT THE CATCH IS,

YOUR HONOR, IT DIDN'T LAST.

WHAT DOES, LARRY?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

A GOOD MANY THINGS.

FRIENDSHIP...

GOOD FELLOWSHIP...

ISN'T THAT WHY

WE'RE HERE TONIGHT?

ALL THE THINGS PROFESSOR

LYONS WAS TALKING ABOUT.

YOU, UH...

YOU BELIEVE THAT,

DON'T YOU, WILLIAMS?

OH, WITH ALL MY HEART.

BUT AS I WAS SAYING,

WITH THE ADVEN OF PROHIBITION,

TOO MANY OF MY CLIENTS BEGAN

TO FILL UNTIMELY GRAVES.

WHILE MORE AND MORE

OF THE OTHERS:

BEGAN TO DISPLAY

A PRISON PALLOR.

IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR A PRETTY

FANCY TIGHTROPE PERFORMANCE,

I MIGHT NOT HAVE

BEEN HERE MYSELF TONIGHT.

THERE'S NO DOUB ABOUT THAT.

AS IT TURNED OUT IT WAS A

SIMPLE CASE OF DISBARMENT,

HARDLY WORTH A MENTION,

NOT EVEN IN:

THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE.

YOU GOT THE BENEFI OF EVERY DOUBT.

YES. THANKS TO YOU, THE GRIEVANCE

COMMITTEE OF THE BAR ASSOCIATION

WAS VERY GENEROUS.

WE WANTED TO SPARE

YOUR WIFE AND FAMILY.

UNFORTUNATELY MY WIFE

DIDN'T SEE

THE FULL HUMOR:

OF MY PREDICAMENT-

A LOSS OF IDEALS, PROFESSOR

LYONS WOULD CALL IT-

AND ON ADVICE OF COUNSEL,

QUITE RIGHTLY DECIDED IT HAD

ALL BEEN A GHASTLY MISTAKE

ABOUT WHICH:

THE LESS SAID THE BETTER.

AFTER ALL,

WHO WAS TO BLAME HER?

SHE WAS STILL YOUNG,

BEAUTIFUL.

I REALIZED I HAD BEEN FORTUNATE

TO HAVE KNOWN HER AT ALL.

AS FOR ME,

THERE WAS REALLY

NOTHING LEFT TO HOLD ME,

SO I JUS DRIFTED AROUND.

FIRST ONE PLACE,

THEN ANOTHER,

UNTIL FINALLY I HAD

THE VERY GOOD FORTUNE

TO SETTLE DOWN IN CHINA...

CHINATOWN.

LARRY.

HA HA HA!

PUT ONE OVER ON YOU,

DIDN'T I,

ABOUT COMING IN:

ON A PLANE TONIGHT?

HAD YOU GOING, TOO, SOUPY,

ABOUT TAKING THAT TAX JOB.

OH, WELL, WHY NOT?

THE WHOLE THING'S A JOKE.

I MEAN MY BEING HERE

AT ALL.

I HADN'T GIVEN IT A THOUGH UNTIL THIS MORNING

WHEN A FRIEND OF MINE,

A NICE FELLOW...

RUNS A MISSION:

DOWN ON DEWEY STREET-

YOU OUGHT TO DROP AROUND,

HOLD SERVICES:

WITH US SOMETIME.

ALL OF YOU.

HEAR SOME REAL:

TESTIMONIES-

MADE ME A LITTLE BE I COULDN'T COME

HERE TONIGH AND PULL THE WOOL

OVER YOUR EYES.

I'D HAVE TAKEN HIS MONEY,

IF HENDERSON HADN'T BEEN

CARELESS WITH HIS POCKETBOOK,

OR IF HANK HADN'T SUGGESTED

OUR BEING SEARCHED.

I'D HAVE WALKED OU OF THIS ROOM TONIGH AVERY L. BROWNE,

CLASS OF 1917,

BEST TACKLE FOR HIS WEIGH THE SCHOOL EVER HAD.

NOT ONE OF YOU:

WOULD'VE BEEN THE WISER,

EXCEPT WILLIAMS, OF COURSE,

AND HE NEVER WOULD'VE

LET AN OLD CLASSMATE DOWN,

WOULD YOU, WILLIAMS?

SORRY, JUDGE,

BUT I'M AFRAID

I HAVEN'T GOT ANY DEFENSE

AFTER ALL.

I'M JUST THE KIND OF GUY

WHO WOULD STEAL:

HENDERSON'S POCKETBOOK.

SO I PLEAD GUILTY.

OF COURSE, YOU HAVEN' ANYTHING AGAINST ME

BUT CIRCUMSTANTIAL

EVIDENCE,

BUT I KNOW TOO MUCH

ABOUT THE LAW:

TO THINK I'D GET A CLIEN WITH MY RECORD

OFF THAT EASILY.

IT LOOKS AS IF:

MY ONLY CHANCE:

IS TO FOLLOW:

WILLIAMS' ADVICE,

TAKE OFF MY COAT,

LET YOU SEARCH ME,

AND THROW MYSELF

ON THE MERCY OF THE COURT.

I FOUND YOUR WALLE IN THE CAR, SIR.

I THOUGH YOU MIGHT NEED IT.

OH, THANK YOU.

WILL YOU SHUT UP,

PLEASE?

JOE, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

LARRY, HOW WAS IT?

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?

MUST'VE BEEN SOME PARTY

TO KEEP YOU OU TILL MORNING.

THE PARTY'S OVER.

HERE'S YOUR

J.P. MORGAN OUTFIT.

LARRY!

HERE, MOTHER. HERE'S

YOUR RABBIT'S FOOT.

TAKE IT ACROSS THE

STREET TO SANTELLI BROS.

MAYBE YOU CAN GET ENOUGH

ON IT TO BUY RABBIT STEW.

EXCUSE ME. DOES

LARRY BROWNE LIVE HERE?

YES. WON' YOU COME IN?

MY NAME'S BRONSON.

HANK BRONSON.

HOW DO YOU DO?

THIS IS JUDGE BARNES

AND MR. DAVIS.

LARRY HAD AN ENGAGEMEN WITH ME FOR 9:30.

I'M PICKING HIM UP.

SO HE WOULDN'T BE LATE

FIRST DAY ON THE JOB.

JOB?

SURE. HE'S GOING

TO WORK FOR ME NOW.

WELL, UH, YOU BOYS HAD

SUCH A PARTY LAST NIGHT,

I SUPPOSE HE'S DUE

TO OVERSLEEP A LITTLE.

WELL, COULD WE, UH...

DON'T WORRY.

I'LL HAVE HIM

THERE ON TIME.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU.

HE KNOWS:

THE ADDRESS?

YES, 40 WALL.

THANK YOU.

GOODBYE.

WHAT AM I GOING:

TO DO WITH THIS NOW?

TAKE I TO SANTELLI BROS.

IT'S DONE ITS JOB HERE.

NOW MAYBE IT'LL HELP

SOMEBODY ELSE.

"SANTELLI BROTHERS-

SECONDHAND CLOTHING."

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