Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby Page #11

Okay, Glenn.

Everything cooI that Susan said,

you wrecked it.

Guys, let's go win ourselves

a race, all right?

-There you go. Yeah!

-Right?

Let's get out there and win a race.

From Provence, France...

...driver of the number 55

Perrier car...

...Jean Girard.

From West River, North Carolina...

...driver of the number 47

Old Spice car...

... CaI Naughton Jr.

Hey, Carley.

-Hey, Ricky.

-Carley! Hey, baby.

Baby.

Oh, hey, Ricky.

Hey, man.

We missed you at the wedding.

-You missed me at the wedding?

-Oh, man, it was so classy.

We had a Styx cover band

and a nacho fountain.

Check it, it was a nacho fountain

with six kinds of cheese on it.

-Liquid cheese? lt cascaded down?

-Yeah.

-Are you serious?

-Amazing. Six different kinds.

Swiss, Havarti.

What was the other one?

-Gouda.

-Cheddar, Gouda.

That's the greatest thing

I ever heard of.

Bean buffet in front of it.

lt was awesome.

Don't listen to him. And remember

one thing, he's the competition.

You're not very focused right now.

I need you to focus.

-Hey.

-What?

-I'm the Magic Man now. Okay?

-Yeah, I know.

So get ready for some tricks up

these sleeves, all right?

Watch your buns, pal.

Baby, that is reaI good talk.

Like we practiced last night.

I got something to tell you,

you mangy piece of trash.

-What?

-I'm sorry.

I took you for granted, Cal, and you

were a really good friend to me...

...and I never gave you your due.

lt was my fault.

I'll tell you the truth.

I'm a little confused by your tactics.

-Tactics?

-Yeah. I'm gonna keep acting tough...

...untiI I figure it out. All right?

See you on the track.

-Come on, baby.

-I love you.

I love you too. Come on.

Abracadabra, homes.

Hi, Bill Weber, along with

Wally Dallenbach and Benny Parsons.

Thanks for having us. Today,

Talladega, NASCAR's biggest track...

...where the big concern

is the big wreck.

And it's not if it happens,

it's where and when.

We have a guy in the race today

that'll probably cause it, Ricky Bobby.

Starting in the rear of the field,

underfunded...

...and the last time we saw him,

he caused a big crash.

A lot of big stories and some

big questions here at Talladega.

All right, go get them.

You must decide, Ricky Bobby.

ls it foolish pride,

or is it greatness for you?

-Hey, Jarvis!

-Go ahead, Cal.

lf you slept with

your best friend's wife...

-...why would he apologize to you?

-Yeah, I know. That's weird.

That's what I'm saying.

My head's all tied up like a pretzel.

I got a pretzel in my head.

-Ricky!

-Come on, Dad!

I've got some big investors

coming by.

These guys are

big-money power players.

lf things go right, they could have us

owning half the cars in NASCAR.

So I want you--

No, I want you to behave.

-Oh, really?

-Quiet.

Should I not tell them

after 1 4 years of marriage...

...you're still afraid

to let me see you naked?

That's not a fear thing,

it's a trust thing.

Hey! I was wondering

where you guys got off to.

Baby, this is Ted Beamen

from Halliburton.

-Nice to meet you.

-Over here...

...is Dick Tangfield

from Dynacorp.

-Back there is....

-You have beautifuI teeth.

Yes, he does.

Get yourselves down there.

-Adorable.

-Make yourselves at home...

-...grab something to eat, over here....

-Sweetheart, sweetheart.

You're a sweetie pie.

She's very affectionate.

She suffered a recent loss--

You taste good too.

--so she's a little emotional.

Okay, that's fine. Go ahead, find a seat.

Can we get these guys something?

Jean Girard started from the pole

and is out to a big lead.

As you know, Bill,

he's been doing that all year.

Where are you, Ricky Bobby?

Come face your destroyer!

''Come face your destroyer''?

Listen to how I sound.

I sound like a massive prick.

Come on, baby! Yeah, that's it.

All right, Lucius.

Time to let the cougar loose.

Here we go, boys.

Ricky Bobby, in the 6 2 car,

on the move.

He's gone from 26th to 1 8th place.

Now let's go to John Hannafin, in the

stands with a country-music legend.

Thank you, Sean. I'm here with one

of the greatest country-music stars...

...of all time, Kenny Rogers.

-What do you think of the race so far?

-It's good. They're going really fast.

John, that's not Kenny Rogers.

ln the song ''The Gambler,''

you sang:

''You gotta know when to walk away

and know when to run.''

Should Ricky Bobby have

stayed away from racing?

Mr. Bobby's very competitive.

lf he wants to race, he should race.

Well, this is John Hannafin with Kenny

Rogers. And now back to you, Bill.

Well, that, of course,

was not Kenny Rogers.

Not even close.

Ricky, you've got Brian Wavecrest...

...the guy that replaced you

at Dennit, dead ahead.

Bobby working really hard to pass

the Wonder Bread car.

That's his old ride, of course.

We've passed the halfway mark

with Ricky Bobby...

...now three car lengths

behind the leader.

Maybe subconsciously

you slept with Ricky's wife...

...as a way of getting back at him...

...for making you

come in second all those years.

I know one thing, Carley was definitely

unconscious every time we had sex.

Lucius, I got CaI Naughton

dead ahead of me.

Hey, Cal, you should pay attention.

I think he's passing you.

ls Ricky passing me

in my subconscious?

No, he's actually passing you.

That's happening right now.

Go, Ricky! Go!

Let's go back to our

John Hannafin...

...who's in the stands

with an NBA legend, Larry Bird.

Folks, I'm here with one of the great

NBA superstars...

...a reaI legend, Larry Bird.

I almost didn't recognize you with

the sunglasses. What are you up to?

Come on, John, pay attention.

I'm concerned.

He might have had a stroke.

Didn't Ricky Bobby used to

drive for you?

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

-He's doing quite well.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Richard!

Get CaI Naughton's crew chief

on the radio right away.

I believe you have some tickets waiting

for me. My name's Reese Bobby.

Reese Bobby.

Mister, these tickets have been waiting

for you for a long time.

Who needs two? I got tickets!

Tickets, right here, 60 bucks a pop.

All right, Girard, I found you.

Now let's see where this goes.

Bobby's gotten around Naughton...

...and now he's right behind Girard,

but Girard's gonna block the track.

Man, he's scary good.

Ah, Ricky Bobby.

Now we shall dance,

and yes, it will be a slow jam.

Damn it. Come on, man.

I was wrong about you, Ricky Bobby.

You are not the one to defeat me.

I can't get around him, man.

You tell CaI Naughton

to take Ricky Bobby out.

Hey, Cal, listen. I hate to add

to your tremendous moraI confusion...

...but I just heard from Dennit.

He said to take Ricky Bobby

out of the race or you're fired, buddy.

What are you talking about?

Tell him if he doesn't do it, he's done.

That's right, he'll be driving a tour bus.

Well, you tell Mr. Dennit that

Ricky Bobby is my best friend.

-And it's Shake and Bake time.

-Cal, I don't like the way...

-...you're talking out there.

-Damn the torpedoes!

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