Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby Page #9

Someone didn't love you enough

when you were little, did they?

Good call.

Here, that's worth a nickel.

Tragic.

Son of a b*tch, son of a b*tch,

son of a b*tch.

Oh, man. Oh, man!

One-sixteen. One-sixteen!

I'm going fast again!

Pull over! Pull over!

Pull over?

I'll pull over for you. How about this?

Where are you?

Gotcha.

''Feels good going fast, doesn't it?

By the way, don't try and snort

these Lucky Charms. Reese.''

Okay.

Okay.

There you go, little man.

Hey, Ricky!

How you doing?

-Oh, Nana, not my prison shank.

-ln the can.

There's your

mother-flipping driving test.

Mr. Bobby, you are magnificent.

Down, Karen! Get down!

Get down, Karen!

It's all right. It's gonna be okay.

Well, son, you are looking good

behind that wheel.

Thanks, Daddy. I gotta tell you,

I feel good. Heck, you know what?

Let's go out tonight, you know,

the whole family.

I'm talking about sitting down,

enjoying a gourmet meal...

...at a place that's reaI special.

-Hi. Those plates are hot. Enjoy.

-You got your own skillet.

-Be back to check on you in a minute.

-Thank you.

Oh, gooder than grits.

Let us pray.

Dear Lord baby Jesus...

...lying there

in your little ghost manger...

...just looking at your Baby Einstein

developmentaI videos...

...learning about shapes

and colors and....

We just have so much

to be thankfuI for.

First off, my sons no longer act...

-...like retarded gangbangers.

-Amen.

Also, I got my balls back

behind the wheel of a car.

And most importantly,

we thank you...

...for bringing back our nasty,

delinquent, pot-dealing daddy to us.

For he was lost,

but now he is found. Amen.

-Amen.

-Amen.

Son, that was lovely.

-What a lovely meal.

-lt sure is.

lt certainly does look delicious.

I gotta tell you, this is about

a damn perfect evening right now.

lt is, isn't it?

You know what we should do?

Every week, we should come back

to this Applebee's...

...and sit at this table,

and have a family meal.

-That's a great idea, Mama.

-And order the same stuff.

-That would be great.

-And I would be delighted, Reese...

...if you would accompany me to

ballroom dancing on Tuesday nights.

-Tuesday night?

-It's a lot of fun.

-I think you'd have a good time.

-How's everybody doing here?

-Dolly, it's so good.

-Oh, it's really, really good.

You know, I just--

I hate to be a pain, darling...

...but I asked for no onions

on my Bourbon Steak.

I am so sorry.

I thought you asked for onions--

Okay, okay,

maybe don't interrupt me.

-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.

-Yeah, well, I think you did mean to...

...and I also think that you meant

to put the damn onions on my steak.

-Okay, Reese.

-Grandfather...

...can't we resolve

this conflict without anger?

-I'm a veteran and a diabetic!

-Dad!

-Dad! Why are you doing this?

-Applebee's has rats!

I found a whole rat

in my Cobb salad!

Dad, where are you going?

Come on, frat boy, you wanna go?

-What's going on, man?

-Ricky, let him go!

-Things were going good, weren't they?

-That's exactly why I had to blow it up.

I don't know what organ or bone

people have...

...that makes them act right,

but I was born without it. I'm no good.

All those races I won,

that was for you, you know that?

I did just like you told me:

''lf you ain't first, you're last.''

What the hell are you talking about?

What you told me

that day at schooI for career day.

You came in and you said,

''lf you ain't first, you're last.''

Oh, hell, Ricky,

I was high when I said that.

That doesn't make any sense at all.

''You're first or last.'' You can

be second, you can be third, fourth.

Hell, you can even be fifth.

What are you talking about?

I lived my whole life based on that.

Well, now what the hell

am I supposed to do?

Well, that's the million-dollar question,

isn't it?

Good luck to you, son.

Hey, Dad!

Where are you going?

Does it matter?

Here we go.

Hey, don't bump me.

Oh, man, I'm flying.

Game over. Come on, reset.

Boy, you are a terrible driver, no?

How'd you get on a video game

so fast?

ls your name, by chance,

Ricky Bobby?

Hey, screw you, man!

I got nothing because of you!

-I hate you!

-Hey, Ricky.

I am on fire. I am on fire.

Susan?

And so then I got a marketing

job with NASCAR.

-Really?

-Yeah, it's great. It's great.

Well, gosh, you look fantastic.

-Thank you.

-I mean, you've always looked good.

I mean, I'm just-- I'm happy for you.

Thank you.

But what about you?

How have you been?

What have you been doing?

Well, they want me to race at Talladega

next weekend, but I'm not gonna do it.

Because I'm done.

I'm done with the racing, with driving.

-Why would you do that?

-Because I've really moved on.

I've sent in my application to

The ReaI World...

...so I'm hoping to hear back.

I'm putting a lot of my eggs into

that basket, the MTV basket.

I'm also thinking about getting a gun

and dealing crack.

Being a crack dealer, but not like

a mean crack dealer, but like a....

You know, like a nice one.

Just kind of friendly, like, ''Hey...

...what's up, guys?

You want some crack?''

I'm just waiting on those two things

to kind of flesh themselves out.

You know what, Ricky?

I have kept my mouth shut

for a really, really long time.

And I just don't think that I can

keep it shut anymore.

I just have to tell you that I think

you are making a big mistake.

-Really?

-Yes.

Why is it that you always fall

for people who leave you?

Have you noticed that?

Like Carley and your dad

and your sponsors.

And you always have

to prove yourself. Wh--?

Well, you gotta listen

to me here, okay?

You gotta win to get love.

Everyone knows that.

I mean, that's just life.

Look at Don Shula,

legendary coach.

Look at that Asian guy

who holds the world record...

...for eating all those hot dogs

in a row.

Look at Rue McClanahan

from The Golden Girls.

All three people,

all great champions, all loved.

Do you wanna know why I think

that you should race again?

Sure. Why?

Okay. It's because

it's what you love, Ricky.

lt is who you were born to be.

And here you sit, thinking.

Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker.

Ricky Bobby is a driver.

He is a doer.

And that's what you need to do.

You don't need to think,

you need to drive.

You need speed. You need to go out

there, and you need to rev your engine.

You need to fire it up.

You need to grab hold of the line

between speed and chaos...

...and you need to wrestle it

to the ground like a demon cobra.

And then, when that fear rises up

in your belly, you use it...

...and you know that fear is powerful

because it has been there...

...for billions of years! And it is good,

and you use it, and you ride it.

You ride it like a skeleton horse

through the gates of hell...

...and then you win! You win!

You don't win for anybody else,

you win for you. You know why?

Because a man takes what he wants,

he takes it all.

And you're a man, aren't you?

Aren't you?

Rate this script:5.0 / 2 votes