Tammy Page #3

...and create that kind of artwork, the end.

You just... I think you should just

slam that chainsaw down and be like:

"Look What I did."

Yeah, it's- It's cool. It's okay.

- I like it.

- "Okay"? It's majestic.

- Heh.

It's not "okay."

I mean, that is super cool.

You're just jealous.

- Oh, please.

- What've you ever done that's that cool?

Uh

- Nothing. Short list.

I watched Neil Armstrong walk on the moon.

- Wait, on his bike?

- That's Lance.

I don't care which brother it is.

That's still lame compared to this.

Boo.

I had a six-month relationship

with one of the Allman Brothers.

Right. Yeah, me too. Heh.

- Bullshit.

- Watch your language. It happened.

Oh, my God.

Did you really have an affair

with Gregg Allman?

No. With Duane.

Who?

Duane Allman. The brother.

- Did you at least get to meet Gregg?

- Of course. I got to meet him a lot.

I was on the bus for most of their first tour.

- What?

Yes.

I have to say that's, like,

one of the coolest things...

...anyone in our family

has ever, ever, ever done...

...like, going back to when

we were cave people.

Probably is, actually.

I never thought of it that way.

I got to run to keep from hidin'

- Remember that?

- That's good.

And I'm bound to keep on riding'

- And I've got one more

PEARL". One more

Silver dollar

And, like, he goes low.

I ain't gonna let 'em catch me, no

Ain't gonna let 'em-

Go low.

BOTH".

Midnight rider

Get your chin out. You do it-

- Rider

- Not, like, in a weird way.

- Rider

- And I got one more silver dollar

- One more silver dollar

Little lower. You're off. Listen.

Let you, no

Not gonna let 'em catch the midnight rider

- That's it. Better. Better.

- Der-ner-ner der-ner-ner, bom

You know, one time,

I got fingered by Boz Scaggs.

Tammy.

No, it's okay.

It turns out it wasn't actually Boz Scaggs.

Okay.

It's a good bird.

Yeah. Sweetie, it's a great bird.

Yes, we're here. We found it. Yep, we're here.

You know what? I can smell it

from the parking lot. I think you're right.

She says this is the best BBQ in the city.

Then let's have dinner

and get off the phone.

Oh, no, sweetie. We can't. Thanks.

- We already checked in to a hotel.

- Give me my phone. Bye.

- We'll see you tomorrow.

- Bye.

- Love you. Bye.

- Don't hit me.

- What are you doing?

Give me my phone.

- We're not going to see Lenore.

- Why?

Because hanging out with an old lesbian

is not my idea of a good time.

Oh, don't be silly. She's an amazing woman.

She's remarkable. She just lives life.

She just grabs it by the horns.

I mean, you could learn a lot from her.

If you paid attention.

- Are you-?

- What?

- Don't do that.

- What?

- Ugh.

- What?

What are you, gay for Lenore?

You love her so much?

She is my cousin.

My God.

Would it be so terrible if I were gay?

I don't care if you're gay-

Can we please just stop talking

about your twang?

- I'm very proud of my twang.

- Ugh!

Mm, mm.

I am loving this brisket. How's yours?

It's really good. I love the bark.

- And I would know because I'm a bark shark.

- Mm.

Sittin' on his mama's knee

There are some juicy-looking gentlemen

in here tonight.

- Ha, ha.

- I think we might just get lucky.

- I might.

- You might.

Don't know about you.

It'd show Greg, wouldn't it?

Yeah.

Ah. You know what? It's too easy for me.

I mean, I can go out there,

and I can get any guy in this room.

- Really?

I don't know what it is.

But guys have always been drawn to me.

Kind of like flies on sh*t.

You might in the future wanna say

"bees to honey."

Why?

What is this power? I would like

to see this power in action right now.

- Yeah? You ready?

- Yes.

All right. You better get a notebook out

and a sharp pen.

- This is gonna be a goddamn clinic.

- I can't wait. You show me, girl.

- Pay attention.

- Uh-huh.

Go ahead.

I got two. I got two.

You wanna buy me a drink

and slide some parts around?

I'm sorry. What?

- Like that? Is that what you want?

I, um...

- What?

Unh.

Wrong answer.

You wanna buy me some drinks

and get up in this?

I'm gonna pass, but thanks.

Well, f*** you, and f*** you too.

Poom! F***ers.

Stupid.

I think they were together. That must be why.

Oh. Now, that makes sense.

You can't work your magic on that, right?

I mean, I'm magic, but not-

It's cool. I didn't get-

Hey, I'm cool with your lifestyle choice.

- Yeah. Gay it up.

- What?

I didn't know.

Here you go.

Thanks.

- To your honey.

- Oh. Hoo.

Mm, mm, mm.

Now, let's turn your honey

back to the music.

"Turn my honey."

Mm.

I just got that.

I just got "bees to honey."

It does sound better than "flies on sh*t."

- Yeah.

- Because "flies on sh*t" would-

- Mean you're...

- Yeah. All right.

I'm gonna keep that cataloged

because I use that a lot.

- Okay.

- Whoo!

Mm, mm, mm.

I like your hat!

When he was a new baby boy

Sittin' on his mama's knee

He picked up a hammer

And a little piece of steel

Three o'clock.

Got something on the radar at 3-

That's 9.

- Where are you putting your 12?

- Straight ahead.

Look at 3. Three, 3, 3.

Oh, boy.

He's coming over. He's coming over.

He's coming over.

- All right.

Hi there.

A little birdie told me

you might need some more beer.

Well, that's one smart little birdie.

You two sisters?

No. She's like 100.

- Ow.

- I'm Earl, and this is my boy.

Howdy. I'm Pearl, and that's my Tammy.

H6Y-

H6Y-

- Oh. Good grip. Thank you.

Mm-hm.

What's your name, Good Grip?

- I'm Bobby Tillman.

- Yeah, you are. Huh.

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, you are.

What do you do for a living?

I run my dad's farm.

- Cool.

- Right.

Hey, Connie, can you bring

some shooters over here?

This lady would like to get intoxicated.

- That'll work, won't it?

- Oh.

So farm, huh?

Yep.

- Dancing juice. That's what we need.

- Thank you.

Hey, babe, here lam

I'm a man on the scene

I can give you what you want

But you've got to come home with me

I have got some good old lovin'

And I got some more in store

When I get through throwin' it on you

You've got to come back for more

Boys and things that come by the dozen

That ain't nothin' but drugstore lovin'

Hey, little thing, let me light your candle

'Cause, Mama, I'm so hard to handle, now

- It gets around

- Whoo!

All right.

Ha-ha-ha. All right. Thank you very much.

We're gonna take a little break.

One more time!

That was amazing.

Whoo!

We gotta take a break!

Whoo!

Oh, my God.

Ha, ha. Oh!

You need a cool-off. Right?

I am so sweaty.

I was ripping it up out there.

Everybody was kind of really

just working as a unit.

I kept calling you in. Did you see me?

- You looked great out there. Yeah.

Oh.

- Well, I can move.

- Yeah.

Ha, ha. You're so bad.

- Dad.

- Mm? What? What?

Don't you think it's time to go?

Well, look, Bobby, let's not be rude, okay?

I haven't finished my drink yet.

Now that's gonna take a little bit of time.

I'm going to the bathroom.

When I come back, we're leaving.

I don't care if you finish your drink.

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