Taxi Page #3

Synopsis: Belle Williams is a speed demon. Flying through the streets of New York in her tricked-out taxi, she's earned a rep as New York's fastest cabbie. But driving a hack is only a pit stop for her real dream: Belle wants to be a race car champion. And she's well on her way--until she's derailed by overeager cop Andy Washburn, whose undercover skills are matched only by his total ineptitude behind the wheel. Washburn, whose lack of vehicular skills has landed him in the precinct doghouse, is hot on the heels of a gang of beautiful Brazilian bank robbers, led by Vanessa, their cold, calculating--and leggy--leader. To nab the evasive crooks, drivers license-less Washburn convinces Belle to team up with him to pursue Vanessa and crew. Belle has carte blanche to drive at any speed and break any law. The car-less cop and speed-demon cabbie--New York's unlikeliest partners-- begin a high-speed game of cat and mouse with the robbers. That is, if Belle and Washburn don't end up killing each other fi
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Tim Story
Production: 20th Century Fox
  3 wins & 7 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.5
Metacritic:
27
Rotten Tomatoes:
10%
PG-13
Year:
2004
97 min
Website
701 Views


You can't hold me.

Now, I want my cab.

- Says here you did a year in juvenile hall

- That's supposed to be sealed

Joyriding Graduated to reckless driving,

fleeing the scene of an accident...

Iook at this... moving violation,

moving violation, moving violation

- Come on Everybody got a few tickets

- Not 75

And not on a bicycle,

Miss Williams

Officers at the front desk will give you

the forms you need to fill out.

As far as your car's concerned, you'll get that back

when we're done Two weeks, maybe longer

Two weeks? Come on, man

This is bullshit

That's notjust my car.

That is myjob.

Wh-What am I supposed to do?

Give people piggyback rides to Newark Airport?

One more question

Did you ever get close enough

to see the guy driving the car?

No, sir

All I saw was their taillights

Can I go now?

- Here we go again.

Didn't I say 5.00? Where are you?

- Jesse.

I feel like a damn fool, B,

thinking you'd actually be here on time

- I tried

- No, no, no No I'm tired of hearing excuses, okay?

I'm sittin' in my cab, right?

All of a sudden out of nowhere, this guy jumps...

Hello? Baby?

Jesse?

What the hell

could be so damn important?

- Freakin' day I had

- Hey Miss Williams

- You again

- Hey, hey, hey

- Go ahead Talk

- I just wanna talk

- Talk then

- I can get you your cab back

Come on

Come on

You gotta help me first

Okay? Just hear me out

They got five detectives on this case.

We gotta catch these guys first.

All I got to go on is

the MO, modus operandi

- That's police jargon for...

- I know what it means

- It's not police jargon It's Latin

- Right Whatever It's both

They were pretty quick though

They were in and out in, like, under a minute

That's real pros Witnesses

said they're either Spanish or Italian

Nah, I think they're Brazilian

They were speaking Portuguese

- You sure?

- Confia em mim.

My first job was delivering food at...

Brazilian

This is huge

Hey, why are we not

doing this at the station?

Sometimes a good cop's got to bend the rules

so that laws don't get broken

You know what I'm saying?

I'm not afraid to live outside the law.

You living outside of your mind

That's where you live

Well, the reports here say

that the man driving was about 5'10"

No No, no, no, no

If that was a man, so am I

She looked like a model

Tan, blondish hair

All right As I was saying

It was a woman driving

- and she was driving a Mercedes... an Au...

- No

- Mm-mmm No, no, no

- She was driving... Definitely you saw her driving

- a BMW?

- Right

- Yeah, but not just a BMW It was a 760

- Mm-hmm

- But the engine sounded lighter

- Light, yeah

Now, with that much torque, she had to have

an inboard torsion damper system

with a push rod bell crank

and double wishbone arrangement.

Wait a minute

You shot her tire out, didn't you?

Yeah Standard OP

- That's police jargon for...

- But she kept on going

'cause she had run flats

Yeah, that's what I thought

She had "runs" flats on

Armored tires They seal themselves

with a gel when they're punctured

Now, they're good,

but they only go for about 50 miles

So, if she wants to drive that car again,

she's gonna have to get a new tire

And there's only one place to get that tire

around here Lou's Garage in Secaucus

- What are we waiting for? Let's hit it Take my ride

- All right

There's my baby, right there

- This is your unmarked car?

- We found her

A Daewoo? Man, I know people

I can't be seen in this thing

Tsk Open the door

I don't wanna get Daewoo on my hands

Buckle up for safety, everybody

Hard to do it with my holster on

Okay, we're good

Good, wipers work

Mirrors work

And here we go

Oh, damn

- Whoa! Sheesh, man

- Little ding Little ding

- That's why you got bumpers

- Can't you... What the hell?

- You trying to kill me?

- I'm not a perfect driving robot

- I know Oh! What are you doing?

- Here comes Junior

- Here comes Junior

- You can't... Oh, sh*t! Wait! Stop Stop Stop

What the hell are you trying to do,

a 78-point turn?

- Can you get us out of this spot?

- Yes

Everyone just chill out

Be real cool about it

Everyone just chill out

Be real cool about it

God... damn!

Now, I'm turning the wheel

Turning the wheel

- Oh, my God! Wait Wait

- Shh Everyone be cool

No Stop

What? What? What do you...

What do you want?

- What's the problem here?

- Get over there

- I got... I got shotgun

- Get your ass over there

You got insurance?

'Cause that's what I'm gonna need

Daggone whiplash

You got a driver's license?

Let me get my belt on

Who the hell gave you a driver's license?

That's what I wanna know

Okay, after I show you this place,

I'm gonna get my cab back?

- Deal.

- 'Cause I don't really trust you.

Soon as I know this is the place,

we'll go back to the station, I'll get your cab back.

- This is it?

- Yep

If they gettin' that car fixed,

they-they gotta come here

- So, what now?

- We wait

You can open your eyes now

I'm done

You didn't see my nads, did you?

Man

So, you got guy problems, huh?

Overheard you and your man on the phone

Want a little bit

of wisdom from the man side?

I'll give it to you

Men are like cats, you know?

Sure, we'll play with

the ball of yarn

unless you want us

to play with the ball of yarn

Trick is,

hide the ball of yarn

Don't hide it where you can't find it,

you know?

"Hey, what's the ball of yarn

doin' in the fridge?"

Whatever

You know what I'm saying?

You know, cops are supposed

to talk to each other on stakeouts

It helps the mission

go by faster

- Would you please shut up?

- Okay That's cool

You wanna be quiet? That's cool

No room for chitchat That's fine

I don't care I don't need...

I don't need to talk

We'll just sit here

in silence

So, are you into cars, or...

I mean, what got you into cars?

I mean, were you always into them?

Did you just, like, stumble upon them?

Damn My grandpa

- Okay?

- Yeah

W-What?

He loved driving, or...

Yeah He was a mechanic

Taught me everything I know

We used to live

next to a track

You used to go to the track all day?

That's fun

No We didn't really go that much

I mean, we went to a couple races

But mostly, we would just listen

to the races together

I could hear those cars.

Hear those engines.

I got good

l-I got to the point where

I could tell who won the race

without even seeing it

- Yeah. Driving NASCAR. That's my dream.

- Wow

Wait. Let me ask you something.

Why would you take a taxi to a bank robbery?

I mean,

I've never seen that

I got in a wreck in my last gig

Bad guys got away

My lieutenant flipped out

Put me back on the beat

No vehicle

Aw, man

What makes it worse,

me and my lieutenant used to date

- Yeah We went to Academy together

- Okay

She got promoted

I didn't

You can cut the sexual tension

with a knife

Shh! Look

There they are.

Oh, man Yep

That's her

That's her.

- Party time

- Hey So-So, what we gonna do now?

- I mean, we gonna call it in, right?

- Call it in?

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Robert Ben Garant

Robert Ben Garant (born September 14, 1970) is an American screenwriter, producer, director, actor and comedian. He has a long professional relationship with Thomas Lennon, from their time on the seminal sketch-comedy show The State, the cop show spoof Reno 911!, and numerous screenwriting collaborations. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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