Taxidermia Page #2

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enough for three regurgitations.

Do I make myself clear?

Bla.

Bla, you keep up with Klmn.

And keep an eye on the Russian!

It's good for you, too.

The Soviet's first and we're second.

Go, Honvd! Go Hungarians!

The Vasilyev move worked and

the Garmeyer cross-swallow.

I don't know what his problem is.

The Garmeyer cross-swallow?

With bean soup?

You didn't even notice, did you?

And why not? Because the pacemaker

was watching the woman too!

I'm telling you,

you can be only third,

and only the champion

can take the women's champion.

All right. The champion

gets the women's champion!

Welcome to the Spartakiad.

We welcome

Comrade Gizella Aczl who competes

for the canning factory and

won the Junior World Championship

in Cuba in "sausage and beans".

And another international champion

in sport eating:

Comrade Bat Bulgana from Mongolia

who took gold in Beijing

in "hard-boiled eggs".

To your plates,

get set,

go!

And the fight has started

in the second course.

The two Hungarians are right

behind the Spartacus star.

The stakes are high

in the second round

with horse sausage chosen by

the Soviets, who knows?

Go Hungarians!

Tempo! You're first, come on!

Let's go! Come on!

And I can't believe my eyes.

Balatony's scales are showing 23.5,

no, 23.7 less than Duharin's.

Yes, Balatony is winning!

A historic moment!

It's good to be Hungarian

in Kecskemt.

A milestone in Hungarian sport eating!

Come on Balatony!

Come on Miszlnyi!

Come on Balatony!

The spoon, the spoon!

...they keep on eating

but Klmn's stopped.

It looks like lockjaw!

The others just keep on going

as the clock eats up the last

few seconds. But Balatony! Klmn!

Comrade! What are you doing?

You can still win. Come on!

Oh, there seems to be a problem...

It is lockjaw, I'm afraid.

Let me tell you,

Cuba is a Socialist paradise.

And there are oranges everywhere.

You don't have to queue,

they just drop from the trees.

Hello, hello.

How are you, son, how are you?

You're getting your colour back...

Hello, you cheat!

Tinned strawberries.

Your favourite.

- Bla Miszlnyi.

- Gizella Aczl. Congratulations.

I've heard so much about you,

Comrade Aczl.

I respect your results. If you

have results, you have everything.

Bla came second, after Duharin.

And this has its own consequences.

I hear, it's Norway.

Norway. They'll put me forward

for the European championship.

The most important thing is

that you're in one piece.

I can tell you this,

as one champion to another.

Isn't that right, Klmn?

I brought some bananas.

Good and soft.

Nice.

- Do you want some, Comrade?

- No thanks.

Are you not coming, Comrade?

My car's outside, I can give you

a lift if you like.

Or you want to chat, Kalmn?

All right, my boy.

Don't let yourself go!

So then, good bye, Klman.

Get well soon.

Bride for sale!

Faster, gentlemen, faster!

Come on, don't be mean!

Smile, Matyi, it's a wedding,

not a funeral!

Bride for sale!

Faster, Matyi, faster!

Have you grown roots or what!

Thank you, Juliska!

Laci, my old mate,

put the money in here.

Hey, don't take it out, put it in!

Bride for sale!

Let's run away!

Sure.

The bride's running away!

- Bla?

- Bla.

That f***ing liar!

- Where is he?

- Not so fast.

It must be worked for, my boy.

First test:
singing.

No you don't.

Norway.

Come with me.

I want you, Gizi.

I want to spend my life with you.

I love you, Gizi.

It cannot be the time for farewell,

I only had you, no one else.

You took my dreams,

I still see your face.

A painful thought is haunting me:

Will you think of me,

when the night is over?

All our dreams are torn...

We can go to Norway, Gizi!

Gizi! You're mine, Gizi!

I won you, Gizi!

Norway!

And you have never loved

anyone like me.

Will you think of me,

when the night is over...

Don't tear all our dreams apart.

Lie that it hurts,

that it still hurts.

Pista, Jzsi, move!

Pali, don't just sit there!

Get to the machine!

Just how are you holding that hose?

Excuse me.

Good afternoon.

Comrade Szakacs said...

It's arranged.

Sit over there.

Menu:
dessert, semolina pudding.

You get cocoa powder on it.

Sit up!

Spoons up.

You too!

Your spoon?

Marks, get set, go!

Semolina, mushy,

lumpy.

Don't forget to work your elbows.

Go for the cross-swallow.

Come on, ten seconds left.

Finished!

Oh, I don't believe it.

I don't believe it.

Kiril Gottman.

Kzystof Dihar.

Jan Beher Kekes.

Bla Miszlnyi.

I can't!

This is a totally different world.

It needs a different personality.

Listen to this, listen to that!

Do it like this, then like that!

Then the Bulgarians and

Soviets take everything.

- And Bla Miszlnyi.

- I don't give a sh*t about him!

They gave him everything.

"Mister Miszlnyi, please".

Throat expansion.

Where are we compared to them,

Chick?

Do you remember, Uncle Jeno?

With the Inota chocolate bar,

at the fluid stage, to be precise,

it was neither shaped nor cut.

Still hot.

I was in the sixth grade, I think.

The man in the factory told us

we could eat as much as we wanted

but not to put any

into our pockets or bags.

There was a girl, Ibolya,

I wanted to impress her.

I wanted to show that I was

good at something and

there are other things than

climbing a rope or singing.

"Can you give me a spoon

and soda", I asked.

I just counted to myself.

It was about 2.2 kilos

for the first round.

That was when I got the first buzz.

This trembling excitement

that my capacity is bigger than me.

The feeling that you are growing

bigger and bigger inside,

and deep and unknown chambers

open up.

Just a slip of a boy, Uncle Jeno,

and I still had the right feeling.

I wanted to bet him

they were a rarity then,

all went for export.

We didn't have them,

not even at Christmas.

But he said it was over,

and we had to leave.

"You're a f***ing liar!"

I said to him. He didn't dare hit me.

He called the guard.

And what did I say?

That I should leave those losers

at Kinizsi Meat.

And that there'd be money

for the tram home

and a small snack after

competitions - sandwiches, juice...

I say the same right now.

And no bullshit.

You've got to work like hell!

Keep practicing!

When speed eating comes

into fashion again,

and the IOC admits it at last,

then we'll show the world

that Klmn Balatony s a

real gem.

Dear Comrade Gizella, welcome to

our hospital. Our most modern ward

is named after the wife of the martyr

Tibor Szamuely. This is gynaecology.

Our doctors are patient and

the examination is painless.

- The staff are all excellent...

- That's important.

So, Comrade Gizella...

we transfer you

to vegetable wholesale.

You'll need to pee and we'll take

some blood, all right?

Congratulations!

You know, doctor,

there is a small problem...

Vegetable wholesale.

Yes, but Gizi competes

for the canning factory.

Vegetable wholesale.

- They're second division.

- With no calorie allowance.

No way. Internal order.

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