Taxidermia Page #3

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Pregnant women must transfer.

- Cyst or myoma?

- Cyst! - Myoma!

Tibor...

Ilonka...

Jnos...

Or Piroska...

Or Mikls...

Lajos!

Comrade Aczl!

Gizike!

They said I'd find you here.

Comrade Svigadurin

would like to invite

our famous sportswoman and

her husband to join us onboard.

And the situation is...

well... you know... it was sort

of announced that...

You should give a short...

demonstration...

in 20 minutes

in honour of the 20th anniversary

of the liberation.

The first minute is over.

So 45 kilos in 20 minutes,

do you understand?

I don't know,

but my stomach feels very odd.

No wonder after vomiting so much.

But I'm sweating

like Ili Fibinger in Parliament.

Don't be silly, that was

something totally different.

Goose liver got stuck in her throat,

poor thing.

I don't know,

something is definitely not right.

Hey, are you crying? You?

The canning factory champion?

Listen.

What about the time with

Fidel Castro and the soup? Hmm?

That great man clapped so hard,

he nearly fell off the podium.

All right, I'll tell the doctor

to stop everything.

Health is more important.

But we'll lose the trip to Sochi.

Come on, pull yourself together.

Wait, I'll blow down!

Dear Comrades...

now, more than ever,

we need helping hands to strengthen

the construction of communism...

now, when the most important issues

are real friendship

and honest brotherhood,

I thank you for this commemoration.

Are you OK, pussycat?

Have a drop of cognac!

It hasn't happened

since I was a junior.

That one, on the left,

in the top row.

- Is that little Lajos?

- Yeah, he's beautiful.

- A bit small though...

- It doesn't matter!

A child is a child.

We'll bring him up, pussycat.

LAJOS BALATONY - TAXIDERMIS

Thirty kilos of margarine

and 800 Champion Bars.

And this lolly...

- When do you finish today?

- 38,526.

- Are you here tomorrow?

- Ten bread rolls?

Move your arse!

What are you doing there?

Is that 15 kilos?

Don't spare any!

Margarine.

Sticky, oily vegetable fat.

Come on, start eating.

Hurry up, Grta, what is it then?

Chew faster.

Watch out for the cross-swallow.

They should be able to eat the...

This was well worth it.

She's really coming on!

All the hard work

is starting to pay off.

At least on those

who put some effort in.

But you,

I can't even look at you.

- Then don't look.

- Sure I won't.

These little things

are the apples of my eye.

I'd give anything just to stroke

those little hairy bellies!

Oh, you are beautiful.

Youuuuu!

Come on, let them out,

just for a minute!

No way.

Later.

I'll open it later. You'll see.

If it snaps,

if notice it snap,

I'll have a wash, clean myself

and open the door for Gizike.

You'd have to get up for that.

You'll see.

You watching that sh*t again?

The losers.

If only I were there!

- Can you believe it?

- Yeah, probably.

Arseholes.

Losers.

Gorging.

Arseholes.

I'd be a whatsit by now.

A, you know...

A world star.

But you won't make a fool out of me!

Who?

- Should I heat the meat up?

- Los Angeles?

- I've never been there.

- And you're not likely to...

But the Romanians went,

all the same.

Just look at this!

- Can I help you?

- Good afternoon.

I've got something.

I was told to come to you.

Wild or domestic?

Not really sure...

domestic, I guess.

Your name?

Regoczy.

Andor Regoczy.

Doctor.

How much is this?

It's not for sale.

Only if you keep the schedule.

No meat until then.

Everything in its own time.

Black pudding

or industrial lard.

Well, if you don't eat Lajoska

before then,

though there's not much on him.

My little kittens.

All right,

grow nice and big.

You're my world sensation.

You could even be on television.

Sure you could.

If there was somebody

who'd arrange it! Right?

Clever girl, Gizi.

I myself started with fat.

- A long time back.

- And that's how it should be.

Come on, kitty,

eat it.

Maybe if you took the wrapper off...

Watch this!

Can you see?

And the silver paper?

It just slips down.

I can do 400 plain bars an hour

but 570 with the silver paper on.

- And does it come out?

- It gets absorbed.

I've never eaten anything that

should get absorbed and didn't.

It finds a role in the body.

Now, listen.

Check the time.

Ah, I'm just wasting my breath.

Cyst.

What did you say?

- Dad? - Don't you realise that

I'm ashamed because of you?

Because of me?

And you make me puke!

- I've never done anything but...

for you! - Why do you come then?

You don't have to do me a favour!

Carcass stuffer!

Alright then.

That's enough.

I just wonder

how long you'd survive.

For how many days?

You'd die of hunger, together

with your stinking competition cats.

You'd drown in sh*t and filth!

You can't go to the loo

- by yourself. - I can manage.

You don't have to do me any favours.

How would you manage?

I'm curious! Under yourself?

Get lost, shoo.

You don't realize that there's

no one you haven't chased away.

Only me, I'm such a f***ed up idiot.

I won't come anymore, for sure.

Who else would pay for pile of food

that you and these cats get through?

You son of a b*tch!

Mum was right.

She was right when she left.

She didn't want to stay

in your huge fat arse

and rot along with you.

Because everything rots here.

Everything. But I won't!

Remember that! Loser!

Do you understand?

I'll smash your face, you sh*t!

Who do you think you are?

- You loser.

- So what? You want to hit me?

Come and hit me then.

It's never too late.

A fatherly slap.

Once in your life. Come on then,

I'll let you!

You don't even deserve a slap,

you bastard!

You stinking sack of sh*t!

Don't you bullshit a world star.

Just for comparison:

Igor Vostongonov made it with 3:21...

- In '69...

- Still no reason to bullshit me!

You carcass stuffer!

You don't know who I am!

What I've been through!

I worked hard!

I worked hard for success!

Who are you kidding,

you little runt?

- I had a vomiting technique

named after me! - Drop dead!

Chick!

We've got an infrared cabin,

sauna and turbo solarium

in the basement.

The recreation room

is next to the fitness room.

We've got back massage,

ayurvedic hand and head massage,

Swedish, Thai and sports massage

as well as tailor-made...

So you need to repeat this exercise

twenty times.

You could do fewer.

Stop for a while and rest

if you're tired.

Try not to push it

too much at the start

but focus on your muscles

and breathing.

In, out.

Alright, very good.

Don't do it too hard,

you can slow down a bit.

Focus on your body,

feel your muscles.

This exercise is good for your

pecs and can do wonders.

You'll notice the difference

when you leave the gym.

Five more to go, and then finished.

Good, very good.

Slower,

try to keep the distance

between your arms.

Good.

Well done,

finished for today,

stop it now.

Stop.

Here you are.

Good bye!

Dad.

It's me.

I'm back.

F*** you, Galamb,

what are you doing!

Well, Dad.

You'll look really good.

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