Teenage Caveman Page #2

God damn it, Sarah.

Turn around and walk out of here.

It's your fault he's gonna die.

Unless we do something.

Come on!

What are you doing?

They'll kill you. Get out of here!

-This is crazy.

-Hurry up.

-Get out of here!

-Let's get the f*** out of here.

Hurry!

Hold me up.

You shouldn't have done this. Go back.

-You know what they'll do to us?

-I'm never going back.

You're the closest thing

to a family l have, David.

We always talked about starting over.

We have no choice.

We find shelter, there's no food.

We find food, there's no shelter.

Think of something else

besides how tired you are.

That's hard to do

when your legs are falling off.

I'm sick of walking!

Did l tell you? ln the old cities,

no one ever went hungry.

Any food you wanted,

you didn't have to hunt.

-Just go to a store.

-Bet they never had to walk this much.

-I'm tired!

-They never had to walk.

They had cars that moved

faster than the wind.

-And things like this never happened?

-Never.

No one told you what to do.

You could do what you wanted.

-Are we there yet?

-I'm tired.

-Holy f***!

-Wow!

It's beautiful!

-What the f***'s that?

-It's so big.

Is this real?

It's a city. We're going there.

-Let's go.

-I feel a storm coming.

-My God, where are we?

-Are we in hell?

-It hurts!

-It's over there.

-No, in there.

-I don't care where. Make it stop!

I kind of like it.

Who the hell is that?

What are you doing?

You trying to scare them to death?

-I'm making an entrance, darling.

-Oh, really?

I'm Neil.

And this ravishing creature...

...is Judith.

Welcome to our home.

Oh, my God, they're so beautiful.

Now l understand.

All of these things are ancient.

But they work. You have power. How?

Solar, baby. The tree-huggers

were right. That is the way to go.

Check it out.

-That's great!

-What's in here?

Some of these things l recognize.

But what are these?

What we have here are important relics

of the past that we've rescued.

-Come here, Josh. Try this.

-Check out the chair. It's spinning.

Art from a fertile period

in human creativity known as the '80s.

The baseball Mark McGwire hit

for his 70th home run.

Stay behind the velvet ropes.

-I know what that is! lt's a TV.

-Watch this.

-Look at that!

-There are people in there.

No, it's just a picture.

A moving picture.

My God, look at it!

What is this place?

It was a biotech research complex.

Now it's home.

-It can be yours.

-It's our dream.

You said we'd find it.

You were right, it's all real.

This is just the beginning.

We have a whole world to show you.

Let's start with a hot bath.

Oh, sh*t.

-Well, do you want a bath or not?

-I want a bath.

There's a brave boy.

It scared me.

I'm going in.

Scary.

-What's the matter?

-You're naked.

You're naked too.

This water feels good.

-Won't you join us?

-There's not enough room.

We'll squeeze together.

We cleaned you up and put those

clothes on you. This is your new home.

We've already seen everything

so there's no need to be shy.

It's what we always dreamed of.

Come on.

Yeah!

-Are you all right?

-I was taught your body is private.

My guess is, all of your lives, others

have been telling you what to do.

And what not to do.

Imagine the whipping we'd get

back in the caves.

You have no hair.

-It's like in the magazines.

-Penthouse!

-You noticed.

-Oh, yeah!

It's called shaving.

We're glad that we found you.

We thought there was no one

left alive.

There were some a long time ago,

but they died.

Diseases spread like wildfire.

-How did you survive?

-We didn't get sick.

-How many people are in your tribe?

-About 35, 40.

You know about the ancients.

David says in the old times...

...no one could tell you what to do.

Not exactly.

But if you had the balls--

They couldn't stop you

from living how you want.

Where you come from isn't like that?

-No. And no one like you either.

-I'll have to visit.

This conversation is scintillating,

but l'm hungry.

And l bet you are too.

-I never played dress-up.

-Want clothes like ours?

Is this for girls?

-All right, who's first?

-Me.

-Sure, anyone else?

-Untie this.

I've the perfect outfit for you.

-David, what's wrong?

-It's just everything.

-Guys, check this out.

-Turn around.

-Hell, they're cool.

-Okay, check it out!

Oh, yeah!

I really like that.

It looks like Bianca Jagger's suit.

-Neat!

-Who's that?

I don't know.

For a minute, l forgot about

what happened at the cave. What l did.

-You had no choice.

-I think you should take those off.

-It's your butt!

-Those are weird-looking.

I don't want her telling me

what to wear.

I think that'll look nice on you.

Look at me!

-What do you think?

-Looks good.

How do you put this on?

-Turn around.

-That's so cute!

Look at you!

Where have you been, beautiful?

You shouldn't wander around alone.

Some predators have survived.

Cougars, wolves, whatever.

-Something wrong?

-You're not like us.

-Give the boy a gold star.

-Yes!

It's getting dark out.

The predators come out at night.

Let's get you some clothes.

Tight ones. Nice ass.

We were students.

The scientists knew the weather

was gonna change forever.

They recruited kids

for medical experiments.

Sleep deprivation, ESP studies.

This time it was genetic engineering.

They were trying to find a way

to improve people...

...so they'd be able to survive.

-How old do you think l am?

-About 21 , 22?

I was born 1 20 years ago.

They changed us.

At first, l was afraid to die.

-Then l prayed l would.

-That doesn't sound good.

Those scientists saved our lives.

They made us better.

I can hear your heart beating.

When you're old, l'll be like this.

So shut the f*** up!

Neil, calm down.

Calm down.

Sorry.

I....

Sorry!

You shouldn't pass judgment

upon things you don't understand.

What we are can be frightening.

That's why we didn't tell you sooner.

Your friends respect you.

So, could we count on you...

...to let them know in a way

that won't scare them?

Of course. We won't do that.

You said there were others that were

experimented on. What happened?

Well, the process, the change...

...is rough on the body.

We came through okay.

I'm talking about the grass, right?

This is the finest stuff available,

right, Judith? l make it myself.

The cocaine's evolution begins

in my hydroponic garden...

...where the coca plant grows.

And then l synthesize it

in my lab until it's like...

...nectar!

Chill out. You don't want to try

to keep up with me!

Have a drink.

Try some of this, Sarah.

-No, thanks.

-I'm sorry. I forgot you're royalty.

-To royalty!

-Royalty!

Yeah!

Heather's always been like one

of the boys, huh?

But....

How was it?

Say, "Yeah!" Say, " Line!" You want

a f***ing line? You say, " Hey!"

There's no rules here.

I got dopes.

That was a quick demonstration

to get you started.

Think of Judith and l as...

...teachers.

There's a lot more for us

to teach you than...

...turning on the TV or taking a bath,

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