Telstar: The Joe Meek Story Page #5

..Do, do, doooo...

That's it. Then we hover. ..Do, do, do, do do...

Then we look down at Earth at all the humans.

..Do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do...

That's what looking at humans would sound like.

I like that. Play it again.

GEOFF PLAYS THE CLAVIOLINE

And... Do, do, do, do, do do, do, do, do

- Do, do, do

- Do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do... Very bold, Joe.

- That's it. Do you want to hear the demo?

- No.

MUSIC:
"Telstar"

Ladies and gentlemen, The Tornados!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

MUSIC:
Telstar by The Tornados

'Leaping up to the top spot,

'it's Billy Fury's backing band. In at number one with Telstar...'

I've got the biggest picture for a reason.

Yeah. It's cos I front the band. Right?

That means that all the responsibility is on me.

I understand that part of today's press conference

is being relayed by the Telstar communications satellite.

I suppose you'll be moving out now. Onwards and upwards.

God only knows how I'm going to let that place again.

Well, I don't think I'll be going anywhere just yet.

Truth is I've made a little home here.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Your very own gold disc, Joe. Congratulations.

I got me the best band in the world.

It gives me great pleasure in presenting this unprecedented

second gold disc to songwriter and producer Mr Joe Meek.

Two million copies!

And the winner of the 1963 Ivor Novello Award is of course

the writer and producer of Telstar, Mr Joe Meek.

APPLAUSE:

I'd like to say a very special thank you to a very special person.

Some of you may know her as Biddy but I doubt it. I know her as Mum.

- APPLAUSE

- Thank you, Mum.

Merry Christmas, guys and gals.

That was the Billboard Chart this Christmas.

And here is the nation's holiday number one,

topping the US charts for the first time ever, it's a British band.

Telegram for you, Mr Meek.

I hope it's good news, sir.

Thank you, sir.

..from our record-breaking number one, Telstar.

And here to join me now, the one and only Mr Billy Fury.

SCREAMING AND CHEERING

Well done, son.

MUSIC STARTS:

Play it cool, baby

Play it cool...

Here we come!

CHEERING AND WHOOPING

Yay-hey!

Hey-hey! Hey-hey!

All right, my boy!

Ha-ha! Ha-ha!

Telstar!

Yes! Oh, yes!

BOTH:
Don't mind if I do!

THEY LAUGH:

You know, when I was a little boy back in Gloucester,

I had a terrible accident with some phosphorous.

Some had been left by the local Home Guard.

And I discovered that if you put some on your hands and clap,

there'd be a little puff of smoke.

Of course, I thought I'd discovered something wonderful.

So, I put a small lump in my palm and I clapped ever so hard.

And there was this tremendous explosion

which knocked me off my little feet.

When I got back up, I discovered that my hands were terribly burnt.

Phosphorus was still burning.

It kept burning all the way home.

Until my dad, who was a veteran of the First World War,

put both my hands in a bowl of milk.

By then, my hands had been terribly burnt

so I was rushed to the hospital and the doctors told me

that I would never be able to move my hands again.

Well, there's nothing wrong with your hands.

That's because there was one doctor. A very special man.

Yeah?

- They're very clever, those doctors.

- Ah, they work miracles.

But this one doctor, this one special man...

..he saw there was a spark in this little boy.

He made the commitment to me because of that spark.

And I was committed to him.

These aren't the hands of a bass player.

- Right, who are you?

- John Hale. New Musical Express.

- Good.

Well, I'm very busy. I can't be long.

What do you say to people who accuse Telstar of being banal?

- It sold three million.

- What other artists do you supervise?

Well, I look after Screaming Lord Sutch.

He is touring the country at the moment. He's very, very colourful.

Very popular.

Ah-ha, ha, ha!

Ah-ha, ha, ha!

Eh-eh, eh, ooh!

Eh-eh, eh, ooh!

SCREAMING:

And there's Cliff Bennett, Mike Berry, and the newest one is Heinz.

He's just cut his first solo disc since he left The Tornados.

He will be the biggest star in the country within a year.

Bigger than Cliff Richard.

Much bigger than that drunken streak of piss, Billy f***ing Fury.

Oh! One to watch out for, then.

Who are your favourite artists?

I like modern jazz. Ella. And I love Judy Garland.

- Did you get my gold disc in the back?

- Yeah, mate, I'm getting them.

- And what is your future?

- I'd like to write a musical.

Joe? I thought the house was on fire!

SCREAMING:

- Aaargh, that's disgusting!

- And cut!

What is that you're squirting on me?

Who's gonna pay for it to be cleaned?

What's he filming, anyway?

I'm making a little film to promote my artist.

He hasn't even got any instruments. You're a bunch of idiots.

Oh, f*** off, then!

Get your hands off me!

Jack The Ripper by Screaming Lord Sutch.

Out now with RGM Records.

That's Jack The Ripper by Screaming Lord Sutch, RGM Records.

That's RGM Records.

Well, the stunts just get better and better.

Made all the local press.

Now, look, I've been reading a book on psychology

- and people follow arrows, they just can't help it.

- Yeah?

So, what if we were to paint arrows on all the roads

and buildings around Piccadilly Circus, all pointing towards a shop.

A shop?

A shop where the record will be for sale

and Screaming Lord Sutch will be performing.

Aaaaargh!

A gig, in a shop?

Well, I think it's f***ing ridiculous.

MUSIC PLAYS:

- I won't do it.

- Don't be so narrow-minded.

With his little black bag and his one track mind

Well, he nearly catches up when the lights go down

Cos that's the time he starts his dirty, uh, chop around

When he walks down the streets to every girl he meets, he says

Is your name Mary Blood?... MUSIC FADES

BOOS AND JEERING

JEERING AND SHOUTING CONTINUES

Have that!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

CHEERS AND WHISTLING

You f***ing spivvy toe-rag.

Yeah, tosser. It's all round my suit.

I'd like to see you afford a suit like this, yeah! You cheap arsehole!

- Smiling now, are you? Yeah, you...

- Oi, oi!

Oi, Lightbulb!

How many watts is that head?

100? No, he ain't that bright!

Put that light out! Put that light out! Ha-ha!

Hey, I thought he was electric! Ha-ha!

JEERING AND SHOUTING

Just play the song, just play the song.

MUSIC STARTS:

What do you mean "Gene"?

Well, you know, they've come to see Gene and Jerry Lee.

- They were hard, like, you know?

- You've got to win them over.

I can't.

When I walk out on stage, they call me a poof.

It's because of the hair,

and the suits.

Yeah, after the songs.

Yeah, it gets worse.

So, I'm at home in Southampton and I do what you said

about looking at a nice girl in the crowd

for Dreams Come True, like Gene does in Be Bop A Lula.

Only like, it was some bloke's bird.

And he decides to come and get me at stage door. My mum overheard.

It was only her tip-off what saved me, like.

She was a lot more scared than I was, of course.

Well, she would be, poor love.

Joe, sometimes I look at these two stars

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