Ten Inch Hero Page #5

Woo! Look, daddy! I fly!

We did the right thing, Noah?

Not really, no!

- Daddy, can I go playing the dart game?

- Yes, you can!

- Here's the tickets.

- Thanks!

Watch me!

Okay, so look...I don't...

...wanna be a walking clich and hit on the babysitter, but...

...I want you to know that I like coming home and finding you there.

I do.

So...bear with me on this, because I haven't....done this in a long time, but...

...would you be interested at all in...spending more time with the entire Miller family?

Not just Julia, but...

...with me?

The deep sigh...

Okay...

No. Nope...

The answer is "yes". A big yes.

Yeah?

There's a few things I think we need to be honest about first.

You're really a man?

Only from the waist down.

That doesn't bother you, does it?

No, not at all! I like a girl with balls .

- Daddy!

- Hey!

Guess what I won!

I...gee, I give up. What?

Well, I'll give you a hint! I won a snake!

Fireworks!

Pretty cool, huh?

I know what you mean about honesty, though.

- You do?

- Yeah.

We'll talk later.

All right, so we have chocolate, sleeping bags, food,

personal items, chocolate, money, chocolate, and beer.

Do you think we have enough chocolate?

I'll add it.

Oh, was that Tadd all pissed off?

Yeah, he's turded about something as usual. ...?...

Good. I was worried you was mad at me for a second. Imagine...

Ah, no. You're okay.

Hey, Jen, did you do something different with your hair?

No, why?

I don't know, you just look different.

- You told him?

- No.

All right angels, cosmobile is ready to roll!

THANKS, CHARLIE!

- Greetings, everyone!

- Hey, Zo!

Take care of the Temple, Truck.

I made this for your trip.

Does that have chocolate in it?

Sadly, no.

This is a mixture of ground herbs, petals and pots.

It will bring wholesomeness and protection to you on your journey.

Thank you, Zo.

It's not a sin, Jen, it's a celebration.

Enjoy it freely.

Now, for this to work, you have to hold each other

and release it into the wind blowing off the ocean.

Okay!

I have to run.

I'm making lentle and tofu soup.

Stop by if you want some.

Hey, Zo!

Are you vegetarian because you love animals, or because you hate plants?

Oh...I do love you, Priestly.

Hey, I'm...babysitting here by myself all weekend, I'd...

...love it if you took a shift.

If this turns out to be the ashes of Zo's first husband, I'm gonna freak.

I really don't think this is necessary.

It looks better down.

- What are you doing?

- No...it needs more lift.

It's not gonna get more lift.

You guys, just...I just want him to see the real me.

Oh no no! No. You never show the real you on a first date.

- I think you look beautiful.

- Thank you.

Different, somehow.

- So, do you know what he drives?

- No.

No, of course not, that would be too easy.

What difference would it make?

Lots!

Suppose he drives some beat-up piece of sh*t hold together by duct tape and dental floss...

All you need is love.

And what if he has, like, NRA and skinheads' stickers all over it?

Then we can work it out.

It's Beatles's ...?...night at the Morro Bay,

en el Morro Bar.

we're accepting Fab Four requests all night long.

What if he's "The fool on the hill"...or "The nowhere man"?

Tish..."Let it Be".

Besides, everybody's got something to hide.

- EXCEPT ME AND MY MONKEY!

- Stop it!

All right, so this is all we have to do:

we have to find a table in the back or in the corner

so that we can scope him or her out in advance.

And, if he's an extra ...?..., we bolt.

Maybe we should send Tish past him and see if he check her out.

If he doesn't check Tish out, he's either gay or dead.

It's true. Nevermind.

Okay...remember you guys: white rose.

C'mon Alice, move that ass!

Maybe that's him.

So-so.

I told you, I don't care about looks.

Do you think that's him?

You want me to walk up by the table and check?

Wait.

I'm gonna guess that's not.

Unless he were on a date.

Oh my God!

That settles it! I have got to get my ADSL hooked up!

Oh...is that a face made for sitting on or what?

Come on, Jen...

Please talk to us.

Look, do you want me to...to go back down and tell Fuzzy22 that you had cold feet or...?

No.

Come on, why not, Jen?

I mean, he came a long ay to meet you...

I don't know what you saw that we missed.

What I saw was...just a guy looking for the girl of his dreams.

A guy like that doesn't dream about a girl like me.

Is this about how cute he was?

And I thought you'd be happy!

...not to mention, you know, pretty damn relieved.

Besides, you said that looks don't matter.

Yeah, that was before I knew he was Brad-f***ing-Pitt!

There's no way a guy who looks like that is gonna want me.

That's crazy.

Is it?

I mean, look at Tadd.

When he came into the shop he didn't exactly beelined me, did he?

Okay, but Tadd is a superficial d*ckhead, everybody knows that.

Everyone except Tish, sorry.

I mean, girls who look like you don't understand...

You know, I always think like...

...if I lost ten pounds, or...wear different clothes, or...

...got new b*obs, that would make a difference, but...

I know the truth.

I'm sorry, but that's bullshit.

You're the smartest person that I know.

When I see you helping those homeless guys that no one can even look at...

You make everyone around you happy.

You have so much to offer.

I mean, to say you don't just because of how you look it's just...it's just a whole bullshit.

I didn't say I don't have a lot to offer.

I said that people will never know because they don't see me.

How many proms did you miss because no one asked you?

How many times have your friends left you sitting alone at the club

where they went to dance with guys?

Or how many times has a customer completely ignored you to get a better look at me?

So until that happens...

Until you're told time ans time again that your place in life is in the background...

...don't tell me that's bullshit.

Because you don't know.

All I saw tonight was a man with eyes full of hope.

Hope...

That would've turned into disappointment, the second he saw me.

A forced smile...

Polite conversation...

How I couldn't stand that!

Not after all this.

All right!

I've been sitting by the phone, waiting, wondering...

I demand a full report, I want all details!

What happened?

Okay, look...huh...there's a particular reason we didn't call you...

Are you okay?

You shitting me?

Jen!

Please tell me you din't leave Fuzzy just sitting down there wondering!

God damn it, Jen!

I don't expect you to understand.

No, I understand.

I understand you wouldn't talk to him because you were terrified he was gonna judge you on the bases of your looks.

Yet you're completely comfortable doing the exact same thing to him!

That's unbelievable! God!

What?

Why are you pissed at me?

I'm not pissed at you.

I mean, not you specifically, more's like a representative member of your gender!

Oh, come on...look, that was really hard on Jen.

Oh, really? Really, Tish? 'cause I'm sure it wasn't a picnic for Fuzzy too.

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