ThanksKilling Page #5

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there, you might feel what I

feel when losing somebody you

love, like your mother, your

father, or your best friend.

Well, I've got to go, kids,

here.

You guys have a good night.

Well, I sure learned

a lot from this experience.

And I made lifelong friends.

What a nice guy.

I don't know.

He f***ing kind of creeps me

out.

Kind of weird.

I don't know, though, he did

save our lives.

I guess that makes him cool,

right?

Well, guys, we just

killed the most demonic Turkey

to ever roam the face of the

earth.

What now?

We did, didn't we?

We sure did.

Well, I don't think

we can do anything to top this

one.

What do you say we go back to

Kristen's and watch the movies?

How does that sound?

Hell, yes.

Hell, yes.

Come on, guys, it's

through here.

Let's rock this

movie.

I want to watch it.

I'm so excited.

Got my popcorn, all

snuggled up on the couch.

So, you know, Kristen.

In a way, I'm kind of glad all

this happened.

If not, I wouldn't have gotten

this close to you.

I may have lost my parents, but

I gained a girlfriend.

G-girlfriend?

Oh, brother.

You mean...

Yes.

Will you go out with me?

Oh, Johnny, I don't

know what to say.

I mean, I do know what to say.

Yes, of course.

Awesome, she's gonna

go out with me.

Awesome.

I'm gonna go pee now.

Yeah, I'm going to go pee.

Aah!

You're done, b*tch.

You son of a b*tch!

Why can't you just die already?

Argh!

Come on, Darren.

Come on.

God's a-waiting.

Come on.

No turkeys up here, Darren.

Come on.

Let's go. Let's go.

What's the matter,

Johnny?

I don't know.

I thought I heard Turkey.

I couldn't have.

It just...

It just must have been a bad

dream.

There is no way,

Johnny, he had a shotgun wound

the size of my head.

Plus, we said the prayer in

reverse.

Yeah, you're right.

He's got be dead.

Unless he fell into some

radioactive waste.

What are the odds of that

happening, right?

Don't be silly, that

kind of stuff only happens in

movies.

You're right, you're

right.

Well, I'm going to go check on

Darren.

I'm still a little freaked about

that dream.

There is nothing to

be worried about, Johnny.

Remember that.

Okay, I'll be right back.

Darren?

Darren, this isn't funny.

Where you at, man?

I'm in the kitchen, making

a Turkey sandwich.

All right.

Darren...

Kristen, he's...

Johnny! No!

You! How are you still alive?

I always come back for

seconds.

Johnny, come on!

We've got to get out of here!

Hang in there, Johnny!

Don't you leave me!

Come on, let's hide in that

shack over there.

I don't think I'm

gonna make it.

Don't say that.

You're gonna be fine.

Hang in there, Johnny.

You still got that lighter?

Yeah, here.

Roast in hell, a**hole.

Oh, f***.

No!

Oh, god!

Oh, my feathers are f***ing

melting!

Oh! Oh!

I'm not gonna make

it.

I'm sorry, I wish I could call a

time out for this one.

Stop it.

Shut up, shut up.

Look at me.

You did good.

You survived, and that's all

that matters.

Kristen, I love you.

I love you, too.

We need to burn him

at the stake, just like a

witch.

"Peck" on someone

your own size.

God!

Oh, it f***ing burns!

I'll come back!

I'll kill you all!

Well-done, gal.

Yeah, I know.

I brought pie.

Mmm, yeah.

Can't wait to eat.

No, not yet.

Why are you wearing that hat,

Caleb?

I just love Thanksgiving.

Okay.

Let's bow our heads.

Our father in heaven, we give

thanks for the pleasure of

gathering together for this

occasion.

We give thanks for this food

prepared by loving hands.

We give thanks for life, the

freedom to enjoy it all and all

other blessings.

As we partake of this food, we

pray for the health and strength

to carry on and try to live as

you would have us.

This we ask in the name of

Christ, our heavenly father.

Amen.

Argh!

Do I smell sequel, biatch?!

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