That Awkward Moment Page #8

get your looks from.

Shameless of you.

Yeah.

What? I'm not trying to

have sex with your grandma.

Ew. Gross.

Unless you think she's into it.

Don't think she's...

Then maybe I will. Grandma!

Don't... He may be into it.

I'm just kidding.

All right. I'm just saying.

Like, in two generations I could be

responsible for making you again.

Okay.

It's called science.

It's called disgusting.

So are Mikey and Jason coming?

No, I don't think they're

gonna make it this year.

Oh, babe, I'm so sorry.

I know I'm late.

Traffic was awful.

It's a holiday.

Hi.

Oh, the turkey looks beautiful!

And you got the red I like.

I made everything

just how you like it.

I know you did.

Mmm. This red is so smooth.

I don't know. It feels a

little off balance to me.

Yeah?

What do you mean?

I don't know. Like

something doesn't belong.

Maybe it needs to

breathe a little.

It has, like,

a chocolate undertone.

Maybe you're just

reacting to that flavor.

Or maybe 'cause you're still

f***ing Harold. I can't tell.

You know his jacket

is still in the closet?

It's a great jacket. Why's

it in the f***ing closet?

Can we please just enjoy this?

I've been trying to pretend

that things haven't changed.

Things have changed.

Then what are we doing?

What are we doing?

We're having fun.

I don't know.

"I don't know"?

That's it'?

"I don't know"?

We had everything we wanted.

A great apartment.

A great job.

You're making partner in a year.

I'm in the ER.

We checked each other's boxes!

Why didn't we

ever talk about kids?

It's because neither of us saw that

future and you know that's true.

Maybe I should go.

I just need to hear you say it.

Just say it.

I don't love you anymore.

So, I said to Paul, after

our first lunch downtown,

I thought you two would

be perfect for one another.

Mom.

Susan, to be honest, I feel like

I'd be perfect with anybody.

You know, for your daughter,

it was just right place

at the right time.

Aw!

You know,

like working at Google.

You've got a job at Google?

No. I was just...

You know, that's not...

Possible.

Right.

Daddy, Daniel was actually just telling

Mom that he was too good for me.

No. Daniel wasn't.

Was that right?

Now there, you're... Well, you're

taking it out of context, sir.

It's the other way around.

I'm very lucky.

Well, calm down, Daniel. We know

you're not too good for Chelsea.

Paul?

Dad?

And well, we are very

happy to have you here.

I've got 3 grand on the Cowboys.

I could use a drinking buddy.

Yeah, I'd love

a drink right now.

Let's get a drink!

Okay, great.

You scared them away.

Thanks.

What?

Oh.

I have wanted to

rip your clothes off

ever since you

walked into this party.

Oh, my God, Grandma! Your

hands smell like stuffing!

Wait, wait. I don't know.

Should we do this right now?

What, you're gonna

say no to sex?

No. I love sex.

I love sex with you.

But I'm saying, like, 'cause your

family's out there and stuff.

Oh, yeah.

And your dad is kind of...

You know what'? Maybe

stop being such a p*ssy.

Okay.

Did you lock the door?

I think so.

You think so or you know so?

You came in after me.

You should have locked it.

Shh! Quiet.

I think it's your grandma.

She's coming for me.

I knew I shouldn't have

given her those flowers.

She's coming for me.

Jesus. What the f***'?

Okay. Hey.

Oh, my God!

Hey, dude.

What the f*** are

you doing in here?

Don't look at my

f***ing dick, man!

Oh, my God.

You guys are f***ing'?

It doesn't mean what

you think it means.

Oh, it doesn't?

It doesn't?

No. It doesn't mean that.

Oh, what does our relationship

mean to you, Daniel?

Relationship? You guys

are in a relationship?

You didn't tell him?

You told me you told him!

You f***ing lied to me.

What I should have said in this

situation was that I didn't.

Oh, of course.

I didn't tell him.

Jesus Christ, Daniel.

We're not dating, okay?

If that's what...

Oh, my God. F*** you.

What the f***?

What the f***?

What the f***?

What the f*** is right!

What are you doing here?

Jesus! Does no one in

this house lock a door?

Where are you coming from?

I was with Vera.

What the f***'?

What the f***?

Your ex-wife'?

Why were you with Vera?

'Cause I was

trying to work it out.

But it's over now.

Oh, my God.

Hey, man.

Do not hug me with no pants on.

Bring it here.

Do not hug me with no pants on.

You're right.

Respect. Respect

What were you doing trying

to work it out with Vera?

Because that's what I do, Jason.

I try to make things work.

But you wouldn't

know anything about that

'cause you always

playing sh*t safe.

No. Because we had a deal.

- We were staying single.

- Wait. Single?

It's a long story. We'll

talk about it later.

I didn't go to a funeral.

You both lied to me

I did that for you.

I did that for both of you.

Wait, wait, wait. You didn't

do any of this sh*t for us.

You do everything for you.

You want us to be

just like Jason.

And I can't think of anything I want

more than to be nothing like you.

Your wife f***ed some other

dude and you're mad at me.

Whoa, man.

You wanna say that again?

She might still be

f***ing this dude. Oh!

Stop it. You guys, stop it!

Get the f*** out!

Stop. Come

on, man.

Your dick is touching me, man!

I'm sorry.

You know what?

F*** you guys!

I can go back to my life!

My roster, my fun!

All my sh*t!

And do it without you!

Okay? We weren't getting into

relationships! That was the deal!

It really wasn't

about anything other than

having my two best friends

and I back together again.

That was it.

Now look at the sh*t

you guys are in!

You're a sad man.

Yeah. F*** you, Mikey.

Oh, wow.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Such a special time of year.

Under a sky no one sees

Waiting, watching it happening

Don't hurry Give it time

Things are the way

they have to be

Slow down Give it time

Still life

You know I'm listening

The moment that you want is

coming if you give it time

When you wake up

When you wake up

You will find me

When you wake up

When you wake up

You will find me I

Ellie?

Hey.

Hey, look, I'd love to.

Love to what?

Get a coffee.

Talk for a few hours.

Get a drink after.

Maybe some tequila?

Jason.

What? Is that not

what you just said?

I could have sworn I just heard

you say that you wanted to...

Jason.

What?

You weren't there for me.

On a day when I really,

really needed you.

And being there for someone

when they need you?

That's all

relationships are, Jason.

That's all they are.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I just can't...

Can't stop thinking

about what she's doing.

Like, when I'm not there.

I know what the couch

looks like at her place.

I just can't stop

imagining the different

people that are

all sitting on it.

A guy.

A different guy.

A new guy.

Just every guy but me.

Sitting on that couch.

Well,

it sounds to me like

you just need to get laid.

I know this is

gonna sound crazy.

Then don't say it.

No.

This is gonna sound even more

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