That Awkward Moment Page #9

crazy, given the new information.

Shh.

No, listen.

I'm sorry. I can't do this.

Wow. What'?

I'm just still

getting over someone.

Come on. You're gonna

go full-girl with it?

I think I made

a terrible mistake.

I know I can be selfish,

arrogant,

distant and

emotionally retarded.

I'm just gonna stop

you right there because

whatever it is that you're doing

right now is not what we do.

I just needed

somebody to talk to.

Jason?

Don't you have any friends?

These actually do go together.

Didn't see that coming.

I'm sorry.

I know.

I just...

I don't know,

to be honest, I'm having

so much fun

hanging out, you know,

and chasing girls.

And doing the thing and...

"Doing the thing"?

Yeah, I miss that.

And I'm not gonna be able to

do that if I'm with Chelsea.

You know that.

I know.

Okay.

Go tell her how you feel.

Go make a scene.

Yeah.

Make a public spectacle.

Yeah.

Dude. Go big.

Do it like the movies.

Like the movies. Yeah.

Like Jerry Maguire.

I love that movie.

I love that movie, man!

So good.

"You had me at hello."

What?

Don't ever do that again.

Okay? Sorry.

But tell me what you

love about her, man!

What do you love about her?

I love the way she laughs.

I like the way she fake laughs

when she knows that I need it.

Yes.

I love the way we

fit together in bed.

Because we're the same height,

our crutches line up perfectly.

That's really good.

I love that about it!

I mean, what are

the chances, right?

I love the way that

she looks in the morning.

Like at that exact moment

when she wakes up,

and her eyes just open

like two little butterflies.

Two little...

I love that!

I love that!

Yeah, man.

But I wouldn't go there.

Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

Okay.

So run and tell her that.

I'm gonna go.

Don't go all Notebook with it.

But run and tell her that.

I'm doing it.

Do it.

I'm doing it.

Do it, man.

I'm going.

Let's do it.

I'm gonna do it!

Man, you're doing it!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, my God!

- Dude?

- Someone call 911!

You took, like, four bags of fluid.

You were severely dehydrated.

Oop!

You need to be housebroken.

I mean, what the hell

were you doing?

I was running.

Why?

Because I...

I'm sorry.

I'm really, really sorry. I was

running to tell you that I'm sorry.

And I should have told these

guys that we were dating.

From the beginning,

I told him that.

We tried to convince

him the whole time.

I want to date you, Chels.

Like... Like,

really date you.

I want that, too.

Oh!

You're such an idiot.

I'm out.

I was wondering if you'd call.

So?

I'd love to see you.

No, seriously,

that took forever.

I'd love to see you again.

Ah! That's what

I'm talking about

Honestly? Who

waits that long?

Yeah, that was my fault.

Ooh, f***ing guy in the red hat.

Who the f*** are you?

Let's find more pictures of you.

Bingo.

Let's f***ing look you up.

Bill.

What? William Matherson,

restaurateur.

What a piece of sh*t

this guy is.

Oh, my God. Dude.

I mean, honestly,

I just find it disgusting.

The way that you guys

embrace the single life.

The women?

The carousing?

Carousing? Who are you?

Cary Grant?

You've been in a relationship

all of two minutes.

And he is already

a righteous a**hole.

Guys, look,

I'm just in love and sh*t.

And I've had a lot of

time to sit and realize

how disgusting both of you are.

- Mostly you, Jason.

- What about me?

You're the worst. You're

pretty disgusting, too.

You're gross.

I'm a killer.

What the... Did you...

Did you post a funny

video on Ellie's wall?

No.

Yes, you did, because I'm

looking at it right now, Jason!

What is it, funny cute?

Or is it just funny?

It is funny cute!

Jason, you p*ssy!

You funny cute videoed her?

I... Yes. I guess.

I don't freaking know...

I don't know

what I'm doing, man.

Hey, man.

I think he loves her.

I think that's love!

It sounds like love to me.

I don't know, man.

I don't know. Maybe I do.

What do you mean,

you don't know?

- Well, then you have to tell her.

- You have to.

It'll be funny cute.

Maybe I should tell her.

Which is right up your alley.

You love that sh*t.

Ha, ha, ha.

A**hole.

I don't even know where to...

What's she doing'? Let's stop by her place.

Where's she at right now?

Third Tuesday of the month.

She's atone of her readings.

Whoa. That... That was

some stalker sh*t.

That's creepy.

It's creepy that you know that

I mean, does anybody go?

No! Nobody ever goes.

Nobody ever shows up?

Nobody.

Well, then, you are

going to be the guy

who shows up.

"We pounded along, my

father's hand on top of the wheel."

Nobody ever shows up.

Yeah.

"I watched the bats crackle

and plunge against the sky.

"They never knew here.

"They only knew

the echo of there."

Thank you.

Thank you, Ray Floreson.

I have to do something.

Does anybody have any questions?

What should I do?

Something.

Yeah. I have something

that I would like to read.

From my novel.

It's not really

the kind of place

where you can share

from your own work.

Thank you very much.

Honor to be here.

This is good.

Um...

Tough act to follow.

Then don't.

I'm a big fan of your work.

I'm so sorry. I...

No. Please.

And then the other guy

asked to buy her a drink,

right as Jason walked up.

And so she asked that guy,

"What happens

if I enjoy the drink?

"What happens then?"

And he pretended not to know the answer.

So she told him.

She asked if they

would play beer pong

in that shitty bar

with his friends

until they headed back

lo his place in Murray Hill.

She asked if they'd have to

listen to his roommate

f*** Hilary or Emily,

or whatever her name was

till they fell asleep.

And she asked him

if a year later,

they'd still be

there in that bar.

The only difference being that now

he feels pressure to get married

and have kids, because he thinks

that that's what she wants.

And then in the summers,

they would drive up

to the shitty Hamptons.

To meet his shitty parents.

Wondering the entire ride if they'd

think that she was pretty enough.

Smart.

Wondering the entire ride if

they think she's smart enough.

Because no one was.

And no one ever will be.

And Jason knew that now.

And he would give anything

to go back to that moment.

The moment where they first met.

Before anything went wrong.

Before he didn't show up for

her when she needed him most.

Before he understood that

being there for somebody

when it's most difficult is really

all that relationships are.

Jason knew that now.

And he was so sorry

for what he had done.

But Jason also realized

that in that moment,

he wasn't afraid, because he

thought she wasn't the one.

He was absolutely terrified,

because he knew she was.

And if she could give him

just one more chance,

just one more chance,

she knew where 10 find him.

It's 2:
18 in the morning

in the middle of February.

I've been sitting on a park

bench for almost Your hours.

Fm f***ing freezing.

Why am I sitting here?

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