That Guy ... Who Was in That Thing 1 Page #7

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I had this great agent, and she

was like, "boy, you got to grow

some balls.

You know what?

You got to learn how to say no.

'No' is the password to the next

level."

True or false:

All actors are crazy.

True.

Prior to--just prior to

getting into the drama

department, I thought everyone

was gay or out of their minds.

And they are.

I'm in the latter category,

out of my mind.

I'm with your mommy,

you know that, right?

I don't think I am.

I mean, I'm a little batty.

You got to be crazy to do

this.

You got--you got to have

a screw loose.

Why not live just an easygoing,

calm life like the average bear,

you know, and just take what

life is--throws at you and deal

with that?

No, we've got to read a play

about, you know, our parents

dying in a car accident when

they're young.

And then they grow up, and they

lose everything in a great

depression and then are reborn

by some miracle of

deus ex machina that, you know,

saves them from the fiery pit

in the end, and then, you know,

you go out to your applause.

[futuristic music]

Everybody does "Star Trek."

Some of us more than once.

I've done four "star treks."

"Next generation..."

"Voyager," two movies.

I've been a ferengi.

I've had foam cheeks of ass

glued to my forehead.

I've done a number of

"star treks."

"Star Trek" was always

about--to me, it's almost

Shakespearean.

You have to be able to

handle the language, which is,

you know, a little stilted,

a little theatrical, a little

larger than life.

I think my first job in

L.A. was "Star Trek: Voyager,"

and I played a robot.

[laughing]

Oh, I did "Star Trek: Voyager."

This time I was human.

The last "Star Trek" series,

"Star Trek:
Enterprise,"

my guy is a sloth...

So he'd look a lot like

Chewbacca.

To this day, I say it's one of

the best jobs any actor could

have.

For me to take a bunch of

words that on the paper looked

like something out of an

encyclopedia and convincing the

viewership that this is a real

person saying some really

interesting stuff--

I know how to do that.

I often play lawyers and

doctors, and I have a great deal

of difficulty with legalese

or medical technology because

I don't--it doesn't mean

anything.

I don't even know what it--

What I'm talking about.

You know, you read these things.

You go, "what are you talking

about?"

No one sounds like a human

being.

You know when you have a

mouth full of horseshit to say,

you just got to get all out of

your mouth.

Save it there, and you can be

anywhere you want until the

last word.

In TV, you got to know it

fast and you got it--because

you can get offered a job today

and start shooting tomorrow.

They booked me at 11:30

at night.

The script never arrived there

till 1:
30.

And I had to be there at 6:30.

I was actually going to

literally walk into costume

because I had to get all my

suits coming in, learning the

stuff, trying to learn it,

trying to learn it, trying to

learn it.

There isn't one part of what

I do that I don't like.

From the minute they say,

"we're ready for you in hair

and makeup.

What would you like for

breakfast?

Can we get a rehearsal?

Your wardrobe is ready."

I like every part of it.

You know what, I've never

had a bad experience.

I've got to be honest with you.

I've never not wanted to go

to work.

I've always loved the

environment of the film

business, you know what I mean?

But my best ever job overall

for the whole experience was,

I think, "cliffhanger."

To get off that plane and all of

a sudden, find myself within

my own dream, but it was real.

I used to pinch myself every

day.

"I'm in a Hollywood action movie

with Sylvester Stallone."

It was constant.

And you know what?

At the end of the day, it was

a tiny part.

And still now when it's on,

because it's on every other day,

just seeing your name on

the screen with that music, and

it's a huge buzz.

I do have an action figure.

For "24," I'm very proud of it.

That's one of my greatest

achievements.

All right, can you get

a close-up?

Hang on.

Remarkably accurate.

Can you see the hairline there?

This actually has more hair

that I do now.

I don't want to open it just

because, you know, 20 years from

now, I have to sell it on eBay.

That's so cool.

Sometimes I think, you know,

"jeez, I did pretty well,

you know."

They'll say, "jeez, I just--

I just really hope you can

make it someday, you know."

[laughing] SO--

But it's not enough.

I want to be star.

We'd all love to be up there.

I mean, any actor who says he

don't is lying.

It's like, you know, we'd all

like to be more successful than

where we actually are.

You know, I definitely do.

One of my favorite scenes

ever on film is from "damages,"

and it partly comes from--

I was a series regular for

the first time in my life.

And the difference between

being even recurring and

certainly between being--

Doing a guest job and being

a series regular, there's

a huge psychological difference.

Guest starring is--it is

one of the toughest ways to make

a living in this business.

You don't know these other

actors, you don't know the crew,

you don't know the dynamic.

[snaps fingers]

And you got to hit there,

and it's got to feel like the

reg--like, it's got to be

absolutely cohesive and it's--

It can be really hard.

And you're walking in, and

you're waiting for the first

person to say hello in

a friendly way, you know.

And the difference between

people saying, "hi, I'm so glad

you're here," and people

saying, "hey."

I mean, I've sat in trailers

so many times in makeup chairs,

and the regulars just pass by.

Don't even acknowledge that

you're there.

If you want to be part of

the party, you're in trouble.

So what you do is you learn

your lines, you hit your marks,

and you stay out of everybody's

way.

You don't get paid, you know,

anything like you get paid

as a series regular.

You do get--something they

don't teach--career curves,

ups and down.

You--you're gonna get them

when you get used up.

I did 10 televisions in one

year, and in the next, I didn't

work for 18 months.

I think I've been fired

twice, which I love actually.

I love getting fired.

And the way they did it--they

were all so mean and weird.

But they didn't like what I was

doing, so that's cool.

You're nobody in this town

until you've been fired.

And when it happens, I don't

care how long I've been working,

I will be shattered.

I will cry like a little girl.

Well, there are times when,

you know, I didn't get that job,

and they hired that a**hole,

and it sucks.

And I'm glad.

And sink.

But then lots of times, that's

a big hit.

[laughing]

So the joke's on me.

Maybe they were right.

Do I have to answer that?

Yeah, and that's the really bad

part of me, you know.

That's the part that I keep

in the corner with the dunce

hat on.

Yeah, I know exactly what

you mean, yeah.

He's incredibly honest,

yeah.

I mean, I am--I'm not

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