That Sinking Feeling Page #3

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That makes it Wednesday night.

OK, tell the boys

we hit Martin's on Wednesday night.

All right then?

Wednesday.

Tuesday.

- Wednesday.

- Are you sure?

Wednesday, Wednesday!

- Buy me a coffee, Simmy?

- Wed... en... sday!

It's Wednesday.

Pay attention, lads. We've got to know

all these signals for the big night.

Number one,

two arms waved across the chest

is the signal for 'start loading'.

Start loading!

Start loading.

I'll dae it again. Start loading.

Start loading.

So it's start loading?

We'll dae it again.

Start loading!

We're makin' good time today, Bob.

Only two drops to do.

Should be finished pretty sharp.

I'll sleep like a log tonight.

- What are you up to yourself?

- Wednesday?

- I've got my night school tonight.

- What are you learning?

- Chemistry.

- Oh, just the man.

Can you do love potions?

Maybe.

Could you do one for my wife?

Maybe.

Could you make her run away

wi' somebody else?

Hey!

Ronnie!

Ronnie!

Ronnie! Ronnie! Ronnie!

Ronnie! Ronnie!

Ronnie! Ronnie! It's me!

Don't jump! It's only me!

Davy, ya bastard, ye!

Are you tryin' tae kill me?

Come on.

Aye, come on.

I'm sorry if I gave you

a fright there, Ronnie.

It's an automatic reaction.

It comes with the training.

That's OK.

I can appreciate that.

Oh!

You've obviously got

the reactions of a tiger.

Oh, gee...

How are you? I havenae seen you

since we left school.

Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.

You've grown a bit.

You used to be about...

I just sprouted in the past year.

Are you still playin' the violin?

No.

Are you workin' yourself?

No!

How's the gang?

What gang? I don't know any gangs.

If you're looking for a gang guy,

you've got the wrang guy.

I don't know any gangs, honest!

The boys!

- The boys?

- Aye, Simmy.

- Simmy?

- And Vic.

- Vic?

- And Wal.

Is he still up to his daft, old tricks?

Remember the time he wanted us

to break into Aldo's cafe

and steal all

his cheese and onion crisps?

That Wal's a bad yin

and he always has been.

No, we were just boys. Daft boys.

Do you want to see my whistle?

Aye.

Name, laddie.

This is my notebook.

Name!

Ronnie Munro.

No... fixed... abode.

That's Glasgow G40, isn't it?

Glasgow G40.

I know you're not a bad lad.

Yeah...

Just mixin' with the wrong crowd.

That's all.

Do yourself a favour.

Come on, take them off.

Christ, Ronnie,

I seem to have lost the key!

Eh, look, you'd better come down

to the station to get a spare.

Tango 81 to base. Tango 81...

Please repeat.

That's two pound of sugar

and one pint of milk.

Right, over and out.

Look, relax.

See when they snapped shut?

I could see my whole life flash

before my eyes. It was horrible, Wal.

Och, you're safe now.

I mean, look.

The rain's goin' aff as well.

We might get a good night for it.

Are you no' excited?

I mean, it's been hard work.

Yeah, everybody's been great.

I'm sorry

it's all going to be over so soon.

If it works, you can do it again.

- Another job?

- Why not? You might have a flair for it.

Naw.

I think I'll just retire

on my ill-gotten drains.

Hey, cheers anyway. Eh?

I have to go.

Still got my hair to do.

Hey, stay cool, eh? I'll see you later.

Give us a cup of tea, will you, Bob?

Don't you want to stop

and have it properly?

Nah, keep going and get finished early.

Have it your way.

Thanks.

- Everything OK?

- Fine.

What's that?

It's the driver.

I couldn't just dump him.

Do we have to take him all over with us?

- How long's he gonnae be out for?

- I don't know.

It's the first time I've tried it

on a human.

What did you try it on before?

A mouse.

How long was it out for?

Four month...

but it woke up in perfect health.

- Jesus! Four months?!

- Get the boys in or we're gonnae be late.

- Ronnie, who's the stiff?

- Get in!

Aw, look at your hair. What a mess!

- It was the rain!

- Shove on a scarf!

- Where's the wee man?

- Here.

Come on.

You really are a sight.

Let me do the talkin'.

Don't throw yourself at him.

We'll play hard to get for the first

half hour, then we'll play it by ear.

Where did you get that awful brooch?

Good evening, ladies.

You probably think

we're a pair of silly girls,

but is this Abernathy's factory?

We're supposed to clean the offices,

but we can't seem to find the place.

- Silly girls that we are.

- Nah, you're a long way frae Abernathy's.

- A fair bit aff your track.

- It's our first night, too.

What will we do?

Well, you just sit down here

and have a nice cup of tea.

You can phone the man

and don't you worry

your pretty little head about it, OK?

What do you think, Marion, dear?

Will we stay here with the nice... man?

Excuse me. Is there a wee girls' room

where I could fix my make-up?

Aye, it's right across the corridor.

And... take your time.

'Mmm, I love you, I love you.'

A sweet thing like you

won't need any sugar, eh?

Do you want to go to the wee boys' room?

Don't you catch cold, mind. The key's...

The key's in the lavatory pan upstairs.

Key's in the pan. Key's in the pan...

Key's in the pan. Key's in the pan.

Key's in the pan. Key's in the pan.

The key's in the... pan.

What the hell's going on in there?

We're 10 minutes behind already.

- Relax.

- Relax?!

Maybe you'd give me a wee something

to put me oot for a couple of centuries.

Eh, Doctor?!

Sorry, wee hold up.

There's loads of pans.

Hey, Andy, your sister will kill you

if you get a hole in they tights.

- You did say it was a robbery.

- Watch you don't go too fast.

They're run-resistant.

You'll break a leg.

Let's get back to work, eh? Steel sinks,

kitchen-size. That's all we want.

- Alec, what floor are the sinks on?

- Eh, the second floor.

Aw! THIRD floor! Come on.

This is the place, lads.

Let's get tae work.

Aww, she's a shy one, eh?

I like the shy ones.

I wonder where that wee rascal's got to.

I better go and find him.

He sometimes has trouble with his zip.

Takes after his father. Byesie-bye!

What are you doing?

I'm having trouble with this bastard,

missus.

Now you're wet in front of your ears

as well, ya choob!

- How much is one of these?

- Forty quid.

For that price,

you'd think you'd get a new one.

Put it back.

Gie's a break, Ronnie.

It's my mother's birthday.

You know the rules... these things

are too easily traced. Now put it back.

Do you know where there's a toilet?

Alang the corridor, turn to your right,

it's third on the left.

...and a-prancing

Commence the dancing and the prancing

Dub-eddy-dum

Commence a-prancing

And a-dancing...

Oo-do-be-do-be-do

Bom bom, dub-eddy-dum

Commence a-prancing and a-dancing

Oo-doodly-do

A-dancing and a-prancing

Doo-doo, de-do, doo-doo

De-doooo, de-doodly-do...

De-doodly-do, de-doodly-do

De-doodly-doooo, de-doodly-do

A-dancing and a-prancing

De-do-do-do

De-dooo-de-doodly-do...

- How's the watchman?

- OK. Wal's taking care of him.

Want a wee somethin' tae put in his tea?

Naw, no thanks, Bob. We can handle it.

Here, puss... Here, puss, puss, puss.

Puss...

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