The 60 Yard Line Page #7

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We were gonna tell you.

We were just waiting

for the right moment.

Yes.

- Which is now.

- Which is now. It's now.

Bud, she was helping

me through the divorce.

And by that, I

mean she caused it.

That is not true.

Yeah, that's a little true.

[Ben groans]

Look, I know little sisters

are off-limits to best friends...

Ben, deal with it.

Love is chemical.

You can't control it,

and we're in love.

- We're in love?

- We're in love.

- [Both] We're in love.

- [groaning]

We're gonna give you a minute.

[gentle music]

[Amy] Booyah!

Boo what?

Booyah, Stuart Scott.

Super.

Bowl?

No, not yet.

It's just the play-offs.

No, I mean, do you

want to use the bowl?

'Cause putting your hands

in the bag like that,

- it's a little unsanitary.

- No, I'm good.

You know you really have a

lot of women studies stuff.

Uh, yeah. I wouldn't really

call it stuff, you know?

It's more like

pieces of history.

Yeah, I guess I'm

into women's studies

like some people are

into ironic belt buckles

or Lego movies.

Blitz him, you idiots!

You sound a lot like my

auto mechanic, Gary DeSenzo.

Hey, you remember

how we talked about

maybe you posing today for me

so that I can finish

that Jackie O painting?

Right, that was before

we made the play-offs.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna go ahead and

I'm gonna get set-up,

and then you can just come in

and join me whenever you're...

- Oh!

- Done with this stuff.

Oh, my gosh.

- Okay.

- Oh, god.

All right.

Oh, oh!

[knocking at door]

[Ben] What?

Game's on.

What, are you gonna listen

to it on the radio, FDR?

Well, don't forget

to bring your horse

to the blacksmith's

to get it re-shoed.

[Narrator] This was

the first time Zagger

didn't watch the

game from Fart Starr

with his stats binder or

with any of his teammates.

[gentle downbeat music]

[dramatic music]

Like a roaring river

after a hard rain,

Zagger passionately rushed

through the neighborhoods.

He ran for 2.5 miles that day,

something he hadn't

done in over 10 seasons.

But that was the only stat

he would get to record,

for the game came

to a conclusion

upon arriving at

his destination.

[Amy] Yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes!

Woo-hoo!

Oh, my gosh. Yes, yes.

[Announcer] Here

comes the blitz.

Rogers is hit, the ball is out.

Dansby's got it.

The 10, the five.

Touchdown.

The Arizona Cardinals

win in the OT.

What a heartbreaking

loss for Green Bay

as their season comes to an end.

[gentle downbeat music]

That's it. Look at that.

Oh, my god, that's amazing.

Good job. Good job.

That's it.

Keep it steady.

Yeah, so, um, when

you didn't come in,

I kinda had to improvise.

- Okay.

- [Greg] Yeah.

I guess now would be a

good time to tell you

that I applied for the director

of operations in San Fran.

There's good

scuba in San Fran.

Well I must say, as a

man, I am disappointed,

but I must respect your

decision as a woman.

I mean not as a woman.

I am not a woman.

I mean your decision as

the woman that you are.

[Narrator] Once again, Amy

found herself in free agency.

She went into the off season

picking up the pieces

of her past life

with hopes of moving on.

You okay?

I can't believe it.

It's over.

It's really over.

Tough loss, man.

If you need someone to

talk to about it, or...

[Ben] What are

you talking about?

Well, that sucked.

The game.

The Pack lost.

What are you talking about?

- You okay, lover?

- I'm not your lover, okay?

You took it upon yourself

to become a latch-key kid

and hang out here all the

time, and why I let you,

I don't know why, because

you're The Gong Show.

- The Gong Show?

- Yeah, you're The Gong Show.

We call you The Gong

Show because everybody

just wants to bang you

and then kick you out.

Well, isn't that typical?

Boys get to have as

much fun as they want,

but as soon as a girl joins

in, she's The Gong Show.

I never heard you complain.

Maybe that's because I

brought the party here.

I made this place.

- We made this place.

- I made this place.

- Me. I did.

- You're the kid with the pool.

This place is the pool, but

people don't actually like you.

And you know what else?

I don't actually

like you either.

- You made this place?

- Don't start with me,

all right? This whole time

you've been pushing me

to do all this and lead the

single life along with you,

and the whole time you were

banging my little sister.

That's fantastic.

You know, I'm tired of your

little ironic handlebar mustache

and your little oh, I'm always

on face, I'm so funny face.

Well, you know what?

You're not funny.

Even Tauscher says that

your jokes, they suck.

- Taush Mahal wouldn't say that.

- That's a terrible nickname.

Just why don't

you get out, okay?

And just take your stupid Bears

stuff and get out of here.

You live in Green Bay, dumbass.

How many championships

have the Bears won again?

- Huh?

- Take it easy, Zagger.

No, I'm not taking

it easy Zagger.

That's what, take

it easy, Zagger.

Get out. Go on, go.

Come on, get out of my house.

- Get out of my house.

- I'm not...

What, you wanna go?

You wanna go?

- Huh?

- I don't want to go.

- You wanna go?

- No.

- You wanna go?

- I don't.

- [Ben] Then let's go.

- I don't want to g...

- I don't want to go.

- You wanna go?

You toothed my nipple!

[pained groaning]

[dramatic music]

You wanted me to leave!

Let me go!

Get off me!

Zagger, stop.

Hold on, hold on.

[dramatic music]

Stop!

Don't!

Don't!

Stop!

[Narrator] When

a team is winning,

everyone shares in the glory.

It's during failure that

teammates start to assign blame.

Zagger and Polano

found themselves

in the bitter cold of defeat,

and refused to

forfeit their pride.

Clearly, neither one was

particularly good at fighting,

nor in good physical condition,

and for the first time

in their friendship,

these teammates found

themselves demanding a trade.

And for the record, I

don't bang your sister.

I passionately bang your sister.

Have fun being all

alone at your house.

I don't need you.

I don't need anybody.

All I need is The Sixty,

and The Pack,

and beer!

I'm a legend!

I don't need anybody!

Kuhn, I have to apologize.

That loss was my fault.

I didn't write down

any of your stats,

I didn't sit in Fart Starr,

I didn't even watch the game,

so it's my fault,

give me a call.

Come over, you

know, let's drink,

let's chat chemistry,

solvents, whatever.

Polano, my bad, dog.

I, uh, I'm sorry I

toothed your nipple.

That's my bad, but just call

me, come over, let's drink.

Debbie, pick up your phone.

Call me, come over, let's drink.

Gong... Vanessa.

Hey, Mr. Severson,

uh, how are you?

This is, uh, Ben Zagowski

from your senior year,

from senior AP English.

Yeah, I was...

You wanna come up...

May I please have you

come over and drink?

[gentle downbeat music]

We'll bounce back.

We always do.

Titletown, baby.

I know what you need, my friend.

I made it myself. This right

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