The ABCs of Death 2 Page #3

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were in self-defense?

Yes.

Mai!

But...

most of the time...

she enjoyed killing them.

Mai... what are you saying?

Death!

No objections!

Wait a minute.

Mai! Mai!

Mommy, why didn't you bury me?

Mai! Mai! Mai!

No!

Goddamn zombies...

We should have killed you all!

You should have died! Die! Die!

I'll kill all of you!

Kill you all! Kill you all!

Mai... Mai! Mai!

Does anyone have matches?

Yeah, I got some.

D- d-d-did anyone grab

a m-m-map before we left?

Sh-sh-sh-shucks K-K-K-Kirby,

I f-f-f-forgot.

D- did you f-f-f-f-f-forget too,

P- Poppy?

Yeah, Poppy forgot too.

Boy that candle sure st-st-smells

G- Good, what kind is it, P-P-P-Poppy?

It's Poppy's favorite,

it's P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-

P- grapes.

Wha-wha-wha-wha-

wha-wha-what's that?

Only one way to

fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-find out!

K- K-K-K-Kirby,

I don't like it out here.

Can't see a thing.

Oh, oh, ah, ah, oooh.

Hey look, it's a beautiful muscular

man with a teeny-tiny baby.

Sh-sh-should

we wa-wa-wa-wa-wake him up?

Hey, hello.

Poppy?

Do you have any more m-m-matches?

Yep.

Now-now-now,

just wait a minute here.

Hey!

Say, what gives?

Hello? Hello?

Is anybody out there? Anybody?

Hello?

Where did everybody go? Oh!

Huh? P-P-Poppy? B-B-Bart?

Seven days of the week.

12 "S" of the -

12 Signs of the Zodiac.

In the United States,

can you marry your widow's sister?

Oh, I've heard this before.

No, because you're dead.

What relationship is your nephew's

brother to your brother?

That's his nephew.

Great. What is the missing letter

in the 3rd three-letter sequence?

A, B, C. B, B, D.

A, E, Blank?

A, B, C. B, B, D.

A, E, F.

Correct.

Sorry. Can we wrap this up

pretty soon? I need to...

Actually, you're doing very well.

I think it's worth your while

to stick around.

Really?

OK, cause I kind of

feel like I'm locked in now.

Like, I'm in a good head space.

The day before the day

before yesterday -

is three days after Saturday.

What day is it today?

Uh... Monday, Tuesday,

Wednesday, Thursday...

Friday?

Correct.

Now I'm going to show you two

flashcards.

You tell me if the images

are the same or different.

Same?

Different.

Different. Noticed that one quick.

Alright.

One more question.

True or false. A roller-coaster

has a minimum rider -

height of four feet tall.

Johnny is

three feet six inches tall -

and Jimmy is

four feet six inches tall.

Jackie is taller than Johnny

and shorter than Jimmy.

Jackie can ride the roller-coaster.

True or false.

Jackie can ride the roller-coaster.

She's taller than Jimmy?

Shorter than Jimmy.

Taller than Johnny.

OK, so all these

have to be true-false, right?

This question

reads, "true-false".

OK.

Can I say, "unanswerable", -

or "trick question",

or something like that?

Under what reasoning?

Well, you don't know

how much taller.

Like it could be, y'know, an inch.

It could be two feet.

I'm like looking at your face

for clues.

That's alright.

So yeah, -

my final answer is

the question is unanswerable.

Excellent, that is correct.

Congratulations,

that was a perfect score.

If you can come

with me right now, -

I'd love to talk to you some

about career opportunities.

Great, I love opportunities.

Great, let's go.

That's not how it works.

Like I told you before, -

press it on at a right angle,

very firmly.

Otherwise you might survive.

Who cares?

The chamber was empty anyway.

I am sorry.

Do you want her lying on the table

with a head wound?

Then show us how it's done.

It's your turn. And no cheating.

The clip stays where it is.

If the gun already made

a "click" twice, -

what are the chances of

Michael dying?

One in four.

The chances are one in four.

One in three.

Remember, -

press it on firmly,

at a right angle.

Fifty-fifty.

Not a bad chance, is it?

I love you.

That was the door to the cellar!

They've heard the shot!

Maybe it isn't so bad.

We are about to find out.

Hey baby.

Hey, sorry, did I wake you?

No, no, it's fine.

How are you? How's the hotel?

It's fine, yeah it's alright,

it's quite plush.

Urm... look, I'm sorry

I didn't call last night, -

I just got stuck

with these people...

- It was...

- It's OK. So how was the meeting?

Good, no it was really good,

not everything is nailed down, -

but pretty much I think

we've got a done deal, so...

That's great, congratulations.

So are you coming home today?

I miss you.

Not sure, there's another

meeting this morning but...

If that goes well then

I should be on the night flight.

How's...

Is that the doorbell?

Were you expecting anyone?

No...

Who is this?

Who is it?

Hello, sir... Who is it?

I don't know...

What do you want?

Who is it? What do they want?

Please go away

or I'm calling the police.

- What's going on, Miriam?

- Don't know...

Don't know what...

What was that?

Oh my god, he's got a hammer.

He's breaking the door.

- Oh, he's breaking in. He's...

- What?

He's opening the door.

- Hello?

- Give me the police.

The English police.

Come on... Come on...

999, which service?

Police.

How can I help you?

You need to send somebody

to my home, -

an intruder's broken in.

What's your name and address?

Robert Walters,

35 Queen Mary Road, London.

Are you at the property now, Sir?

No, I'm in f***ing France.

I'm on the phone to my wife,

now please send someone.

Miriam?

The police are on their way,

are you OK?

Shhhh...

I'm in the bathroom,

just... just don't speak, OK?

Miriam?

Miriam? Talk to me!

Miriam, are you OK?

Talk to me please.

Miriam?

Miriam.

Miriam?

Help!

Help!

Why? Why are you doing this?

I love you.

Whoever you are...

please, I'm asking you...

Don't do this.

Please...

don't hurt my baby.

Please, there's a small baby

in the room, please don't...

Leave my baby alone please.

What have you done to my family?

Let me talk to him.

What?

Let me talk to my husband.

It's... It's your wife...

Alright.

Basically why we're shooting

your audition today -

is to show the producers

what you're comfortable doing, -

what you're able to do,

what you're willing to do...

It's really like an attitude thing.

Like,

if I told you to suck my dick...

...would you do as you're told?

Or would there be

some sort of an issue?

Open your mouth for me please.

Good...

You a little whore?

Say it.

You know...

...a lot of girls

would kill for this opportunity.

So you gotta stand

above the competition.

Wow! Phew,

those are some eyes!

Are you blind?

We're gonna have to get some,

ah, sunglasses for her -

on the day of the shoot.

We are gonna need to

see your body.

Unfortunately, producers are kind

of picky about that kind of thing.

So if you could just take off that

retarded dress that you're wearing...

Faster, please.

We do not have all day, do we?

Yeah... those're okay.

I give 'em a "C-Minus"...

Wait! What,

what the f*** is that?

- Oh, that's a dick...

- Gross!

A dick? Come on, you guys!

How many f***ing times

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