The Absent Minded Professor Page #2

I know what you're thinking.

But don't you worry.

Everything's gonna be all right.

When I tell Betsy what I've

done, she's gonna be happy.

Oh. Mrs. Chatsworth.

Don't you tell a soul,

but I've discovered Flubber.

That poor, poor girl.

DAGGETT:
Are you sure

it was wise to come in today?

I'm perfectly all right.

Mr. Alonzo Hawk, president of

the Auld Lang Syne loan company,

et cetera, et cetera.

My dear Mr. Hawk...

During the past few days,

I have been disturbed by rumors

that you plan to take our campus

and construct

a housing tract thereon.

Oh, surely he wouldn't.

Not even Mr. Hawk.

Let's hope not, my dear.

The situation requires

delicate handling.

But he's an alumnus.

My dear girl,

our esteemed alumnus

made an extremely large loan

to the college.

That loan is overdue,

and Mr. Hawk has us,

if you'll forgive a pertinent

expression, over a barrel.

However, my dear Mr. Hawk,

I am quite confident

that I can demonstrate

how an extension of your loan

would be in the best interest

to all of us.

I'd like to suggest a meeting

at the earliest opportunity

that would be convenient to you.

I shall make myself available.

BRAINARD:

Psst!

DAGGETT:

However, Mr. Hawk...

Don't be angry. I'm sorry

I missed the wedding again.

Look, I couldn't help it.

DAGGETT:
...of your loan

is in all our best interests.

Go.

Get out of here.

Don't want to see you.

I was working in the laboratory

and had an explosion.

Go.

Get out of here.

I do not want to see you.

I hit my head.

I fell on the floor.

I was knocked out.

Knocked out.

DAGGETT:

I know your heart is with us.

Go. Get out.

Look, the most wonderful

thing happened.

Wait till you hear.

Look.

Flubber.

DAGGETT:
I shall make myself

available at any time.

Flubber. Flubber.

DAGGETT:

...of the greatest importance.

No, make that "of the most

supreme importance."

BRAINARD:

Flubber.

Flubber. Flubber.

Flubber. Flubber.

Flubber. Watch.

Oh. Good morning, sir.

I'd like to speak to

Miss Carlisle, if I may.

Betsy, I -- Oh, sir,

I just wanted to tell her

that I'm sorry

I missed the wedding.

I have the most wonderful thing

to tell you.

The most wonderful thing

you can tell me is "goodbye."

In which I heartily concur.

This way.

Just a minute.

If you'd give me a chance,

she'd forgive me.

Anything you say

would be superfluous.

Kindly take your ball and go.

Daggett!

Why, Mr. Hawk.

What a pleasant surprise.

I want a word with you.

I, too, have been wanting

to chat about our loan.

-That'll be all, Brainard.

-Brainard!

Is this the one

you call "Neddy the Nut"?

Yeah, that's right, Pop.

Do you know that this man

flunked my boy?

No, Mr. Hawk.

I welcome this opportunity.

If the teacher and the parent

of the backward student --

Backward?

May I remind you it was Hawk

brains that founded this town?

Hawk brains that built it?

And you have the gall

to say that my boy,

who proudly bears

the name of Hawk, is backward?

I'd just as soon forget --

Will you shut up when I talk?

I wish I could show you

his examination paper.

Not only did he miss

every answer,

he misspelled

the name of the college.

Do you mind?

I'd like to discuss the matter

alone with Mr. Hawk.

ALONZ O:

This means my boy can't play

in the big game tonight

against Rutland.

Where's your school spirit?

Flunking your star player.

I don't think this is a place to

lend a half a million dollars.

We have principles

here at Medfield.

I offered to help Biff.

A makeup exam.

But he couldn't be bothered.

So he's ineligible.

None of your vague promises

about lending money

is going to change that.

Mr. Hawk has already loaned the

money. The school is grateful.

Professor, I rejoice

in your sense of ethics.

But do you mind terribly

if I speak for myself?

-Mr. Hawk.

-Hold it.

I came to have my say,

and I've said it.

Mr. Hawk, a moment of your time.

I'd like to discuss our loan.

You'd like to discuss our loan?

Well, I have an office

downtown for that!

And you might bring some

of those principles of yours

and see how much they're

worth in cold cash!

Come on, Biffer.

Get me the file on wealthy

alumni marked "emergency."

-We have some letters to write.

-Yes, sir.

You've got to let me explain.

Then you'll understand

why I missed the wedding.

All right, go ahead.

I'd like that.

For once I would

really like to understand.

Like most things that

seem complicated,

it was actually quite simple.

I was thinking in terms

of magnetic energy,

when what I was after

was repulsive energy.

Silly. But you know how

you get carried away.

Yes. I know.

If not for this explosion,

I might never have found it.

The application

of thermal energy

to two incompatible

metastable compounds

brought about fusion,

the release of explosive gases,

and a residue.

Do you know what

that residue was?

No.

Flubber.

Flubber!

Well, it's been thrilling.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Betsy,

never in my wildest dreams

did I hope to find a compound

whose configuration is such

that the delivery

of energy to its surface

would trigger a change

in the configuration.

This change liberates enormous

quantities of energy.

But they act

in a direction opposite

that of the force

which triggered the change.

We call it repulsive energy.

That's just the way I feel.

Yet strangely enough,

the total effect is transient.

Upon the shutting off

of the energy,

the elemental particles

return to pseudo-equilibrium.

-Isn't that wonderful?

-Yes!

Now that I clearly understand

what happened to my wedding,

will you excuse me?

President Daggett and I

have some important work.

Such as, I hope,

saving the college.

But, Betsy, don't you see?

This can save the college.

It could be worth millions.

Do me a personal favor.

Go bounce your ball

somewhere else.

We'll talk it out tonight.

I'll pick you up for the game.

Well, I guess we shook

them up a little.

Nobody's gonna push us around.

You're kidding, aren't you?

About closing the college

and turning the grounds

into a housing tract?

I'm gonna teach you

some facts of life.

Small college. Like the small

country store, little drugstore.

They're all in the same boat.

They're sinking.

Today is the day of the

supermarkets, the supercolleges.

The little man

is gonna get squashed.

But you graduated from Medfield.

It's your college.

So what do you want?

Some total stranger

to close it down?

Or some loyal, friendly alumnus

to take care of things?

Isn't there something

you could do?

Give them some more time

on the loan or something.

I'm sentimental about

Medfield just like you.

But it's like shooting a horse

that has a broken leg.

I want to do it

to put it out of its misery.

Now, if I happen to make

a few extra bucks,

well, that's just something

you're going to have to

learn to accept.

Yes, sir.

Oh, about the game.

Has word gotten around

that you're not playing?

Not that I know of.

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