The Absent Minded Professor Page #3

Not yet.

Say, Lenny,

see what the point spread

is on the Medfield-Rutland

game tonight.

How much you want to go for?

Whatever the traffic will bear.

8,000 or 1 0,000 bucks.

You're not betting on Medfield.

Without me on the team,

we'll get murdered.

Who said I'm betting

on Medfield?

You're not betting against us?

Son, we have access to

some very valuable information

about that game tonight.

There's a saying.

"It's an ill wind that

doesn't blow a few bucks

into the coffers of the

Auld Lang Syne loan company."

Get the point?

When we pull down

the spark lever,

this shutter opens and

releases the gamma rays.

Up goes the Flubber

and the car.

We pull the gas lever, this

shutter opens, and the car goes.

We press on the brake,

this opens,

and the rays bring the car

to a stop.

lf we open the shutter farther,

the car goes in reverse.

Charlie, suppose we get

a little tired

of just going straight ahead.

So we turn the wheel

to the right,

and we bank to the right.

Turn the wheel to the left,

and we bank to the left.

Well, that's about it,

Charlie.

The important thing

is nobody finds out.

Except Betsy, of course.

So people don't ask questions,

we'll put this under the hood

so it'll sound like a Model T.

That ought to do it, Charlie.

Now all they'll say is,

"Professor, see you finally got

that old collector's item

in running order."

All right, Charlie.

We're all set.

All clear, Charlie.

Now we'll get your safety belt.

Now this side.

Good dog.

Now... sound on.

[ Rattling ]

Lights on.

And gas lever down.

Hang onto your hat, Charlie.

It handles beautifully, Charlie.

We don't need these

up here, do we?

There. That's better.

Now watch this, Charlie.

Not bad, Charlie.

Let's open her up

and see what she'll really do.

Yoo-hoo!

Well, look what we got

down there.

[ Horn blaring ]

Look out, girls.

Here we come.

Look out, Charlie!

Gonna have to watch

where I'm going, huh?

Yeah.

Charlie, I've got an idea.

Why don't we fly over and drop

in on that certain someone?

# Do-do do-do #

# Do-do-do do-do #

# That lovely, adorable

Betsy of mine #

# Oh, won't she be happy,

sweet Betsy of mine #

# When we take her flying,

that Betsy of mine #

# She'll hug me and tell me

she's not really sore #

# That lovely, adorable

Betsy of mine #

Can you imagine what

she'll say when she sees this?

-Was there something you wanted?

-Yes.

I'd like to speak to

Miss Carlisle if you don't mind.

I'm afraid I do, old man.

Miss Carlisle and l

are leaving for the game.

-Ready, dear?

-Yes, Shelby.

-Before you go --

-Excuse us.

Betsy, please come here.

If you don't mind.

I have the most wonderful thing.

Ned, I am trying

not to be angry.

Please, don't make a scene.

Haven't you caused Miss Carlisle

enough embarrassment?

Betsy, it's a surprise.

lt's a sort of wedding present.

Just what every girl

dreams about.

It's not the car, Betsy.

It's what's inside the car.

I can't show it with him around.

Now, would you excuse us?

Betsy!

Betsy, you know what

I was telling you about

this morning in the office

about my discovery?

I want to show you

what I've done with it.

I want you to take one ride

around the block.

Just one little ride, Betsy.

How'd it go?

All the loot's down.

But I had to give them 6 to 1.

Get back on the phone.

See if you can find any more

of that kind of money.

I'm afraid it isn't

Medfield's night.

My dear, victory

isn't everything.

"To love the game

beyond the prize,

to honor while

you strike him down,

the foe that comes

with fearless eyes."

-BRAINARD:
Excuse me.

-Oh. Professor.

Pardon me, please.

Late as usual, I see.

Come on, Medfield!

Hate to see you betting

against our team.

This isn't betting.

This is like making it

in the cellar.

Oh, if Biff Hawk

were only playing tonight.

Yes, yes.

I heard he was ineligible.

Now, I wonder who could've

flunked your star player.

We're much more realistic about

things like that at Rutland.

I understand you pay

your players

more than you do your teachers.

That's ridiculous.

I get twice as much as...

I really don't care

to discuss it.

Our poor boys.

They try so hard!

I feel sorry for people who

don't know when they're beaten.

Don't you, Professor?

Now, Shelby, please

don't start anything!

Why doesn't he go down

and sit in the Rutland section?

I'm sorry.

It's not fair!

Our team can't even

reach the ball!

Yes, poor little chaps.

I'd say they need

some kind of a lift.

Why don't they try

elevator heels?

Very funny.

Elevator heels.

Pardon me.

Would you pardon me, please?

There's more than one way

to skin a cat.

She won't ride in my car

with me? Okay.

She won't listen to me.

Okay.

So we're gonna

surprise her, Charlie.

More than that,

we're gonna Flubberghast her.

Boys, what can I say?

I'm proud of you.

They're murdering us.

But I'm proud of you.

Remember, you're

like sons to me.

All of you.

How do you think I feel?

Do you think it's easy sitting,

watching you guys getting

your ears pinned back?

Well, let me tell you this.

I've coached a lot of teams

in my day,

but I've never seen

harder-fighting boys

than you boys right here.

You got heart.

I mean, real heart.

Coach, do we really have to

go back out there?

Look, I know how you feel, son.

But remember this.

A team that won't be beaten...

Well, Professor!

Oh, hello, Coach.

Something the matter?

Maybe something

on your conscience?

No. I just dropped by to see

if there's anything I can do.

I am sorry I had to flunk

Biff. lf that's what you mean.

It's a little late for

apologies, don't you think?

One minute, Coach.

All right.

Get ready.

Starting lineup

same as the first half.

Too bad Biff didn't

keep his grades up.

That's one of those things.

Just remember,

one man doesn't make a team.

And I tell you, you can

go out and beat Rutland.

You can win this game.

Sure we can.

Yes, you can.

Because I know something

about you that you don't know.

They're twice as big, but that

doesn't make any difference now.

They could be 1 0 feet tall.

We could still beat them.

Yes. We could.

You can beat Rutland if

you give it all the drive

and the bounce you've got.

Remember that word "bounce."

Bounce.

And when you bounce,

remember this.

No matter how much you put in,

you're going to get

twice as much out of it.

Now, get out there, fellows,

and hop to it!

Say, what's going on out there?

-What got into 'em?

-I don't know!

Maybe it was that pep talk

Brainard gave them!

-What did he say?

-I wish I could remember!

Go, Medford! Go!

[ Whistle blows ]

Will you listen to me?

There's something fishy

going on!

All right. What?

You tell me!

Well, how do I know?

Something!

What am I supposed to do?

There's nothing that says

one team can't jump higher

than the other!

Time's up! Let's go!

Gosh, Pop. Look at them go!

Look-it!

I'm looking!

Come on, Medfield!

Come on, team!

Come on, Medfield!

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