The Accidental Husband Page #7

I thought I'd hold off...

on this introduction...

until we were sure

of each other.

- And are we?

- Well, I am.

I can't even keep track of all

the things I've misunderstood.

Sorry.

Dad? I know I never asked you,

but, um, what do you

think of Richard?

Do you like him?

Well, sure, honey.

What's not to like?

I mean, he's

perfect, isn't he?

- Is that a compliment?

You don't need

compliments from me.

I've never told you

how to live or who to date.

That's always been

in your department.

So, what if I'm, uh,

losing my footing

in my department...

and I'm asking for

a second opinion?

Well, I think Richard is a...

...a good, safe bet. You know?

He's the kind of guy...

that you've always

gravitated toward...

and advised other

women to pursue,

isn't he?

Probably the type of

fellow that my...

brand of fatherhood

pushed you into.

Look, honey, I mean.

I've made some big

mistakes in my life,

some real whoppers,

but if I hadn't I

probably wouldn't have...

been able to recognise

the real thing...

when it came along. You don't...

have to be so

right all the time.

It's OK to make a

couple mistakes.

- Hello, tall lady.

- Oh, Emma.

Emma, you're drenched.

Come, darling.

- Move, she has

to eat something.

Quiet.

Can't you see that

she's not here...

to eat or watch

telly or chit-chat?

She's come for

the man she loves.

Here you are with

your 'come, come'...

and your 'sit, sit'

and your 'eat, eat'.

You're standing in the course...

of true love.

Stand aside, I say.

Through the beads,

up the stairs, two flights.

What?

Yeah, it's raining.

Figured you'd

have the day off.

Come in.

Oh, here you go.

Let me, uh,

let me get you

some dry clothes.

- Patrick?

- Yeah.

I think I called

off my wedding.

Emma, I...

I need to tell you something.

- What?

- It can wait.

Oh.

- How's it going

in there, babe?

Great.

- We're having toast.

- I'll be out in a minute.

OK.

# You're my fantasy...

# You're my reality...

# Every woman in the world

What is this? And

this? And this?

Are you some sick stalker?

No, Emma, it's not

what you think.

Emma.

- Emma. Emma, wait.

- I can't believe this.

I saw the invitation.

You're married?

- No. No, I'm not married.

- Liar. Stay away from me.

Emma. Emma, I can explain.

Yeah? What, that

this is no accident?

There was no glitch?

No, you. You are the glitch.

You Googled me,

invaded my life,

invaded my privacy,

ruined my relationship.

I almost called off

my wedding for you.

I trusted you. I

had sex with you.

You're just some

sort of con man,

scam artist, deranged fan?

- Know what? Don't

flatter yourself.

I... What have I done?

Richard warned me

about you. I warn...

people about men

like you every day.

- I'm worse than

my own callers.

Emma. Stop.

Thank you.

Can I show you

something? Please?

Do you know her?

- No, I don't.

- Yeah, you don't. Come here.

That's Sofia, as in

'You're cordially...

invited to the marriage...

of Patrick Thomas Sullivan...

and Sofia Idelia

Maria Chechagua.'

She's Dominican.

We met on the job.

She almost blew

up a building...

polishing those nails of hers.

I carried her down 15

flights of stairs...

and sat next to

her hospital bed...

until she woke up.

- What does this

have to do with me?

She was a big

fan of your show.

Listened to it every day.

One day, she called in.

- You probably don't remember.

- No, I don't.

- You told her to

call off the wedding.

Patrick...

Someone you don't

know and can't...

remember, you

changed her life...

and mine forever.

I guess I wanted

to educate you about that.

About what it's like

to have your...

life ripped out

from under you.

I wanted to knock

you down a peg.

- You did.

- Emma, I...

- Goodbye, Patrick.

- Emma.

Emma.

It's beautiful.

I was just thinking

how... how it's...

too big for me

without you here.

Are you here?

If you'll have me.

Do you mean you still

want to get married?

I do.

I do. I do.

As many of you have heard,

I'm getting married.

People keep asking

me if I'm nervous.

Well, I'm not.

My eyes are open

and what I see...

is not the man of my dreams,

but the man of my reality.

He's who he says he is,

there where he's

supposed to be.

If you want to close your eyes

and jump in,

try the high-diving

board at the YMCA.

There's a generation of men...

and women roaming

New York City...

in search of the

holy grail dream partner.

But until we learn

the difference...

between romantic

love and real love,

we're just searching

in vain for...

something that

doesn't even exist.

Here we are. Until next time.

Ask yourself

serious questions.

Couples shouldn't

have to hide.

Play with fire, get burned.

Irresponsible. Dependable?

You can't trust what you lust.

Does he give you

a stable universe?

Love has to be

earned, not yearned.

Stop obsessing about

this old girlfriend...

of his. Got it? All

right. Next caller.

It's a hard decision.

Am I right? Well, caller...

Trust me on that. Next caller.

Based on what? What?

Trust me on that, OK?

OK, well...

Um... I don't know.

What do you want from me?

- Real Love is just a theory.

A theory, yes,

but based on ten

years of research...

and study of sociological,

psychosexual,

statistical analysis

of men and women...

and their relationships.

What if you're wrong?

Hello? You still there?

Take that one.

Trust me, she needs

to take that one.

It's 15 minutes

after the hour and...

you're listening to Real

Love with me,

Dr Emma Lloyd.

Uh...

Yep, we got time...

for one more

caller. We've got...

Patrick of Astoria.

- Patrick of Astoria.

- Oh, really?

I thought for a second...

you weren't gonna

put me through.

Thousands of people

are listening. Let's...

not waste their

time. How can I help?

There's... there's

this girl that I'm...

that I'm falling for.

That I have fallen for.

And, uh, well the

trick is she's...

she's getting

married tomorrow.

And if that's what

she really wants,

then I'm happy for her.

That's very generous of you,

Patrick from Astoria.

There's one other

thing that...

...that she doesn't know.

- We're almost out of time.

The thing that

I didn't tell her is, um...

- The thing she

doesn't know...

Come on.

...is that I love her.

You know, I, uh, I look at her...

and I see, I see

my whole life.

And I just thought

she should know that.

I'm afraid that's

all the time we have, caller.

This is Dr Emma Lloyd.

And you're listening

to Real Love.

Where's she going?

- Get in there.

- OK.

Let's see, we

got, um, Chuck...

on line four is looking

for his soul mate,

and Maria on line two

just got dumped. So, Chuck?

- Yeah?

- Say what's up to Maria.

How you doin'?

Well? Do you really like it?

- Perfect. You're perfect.

- I'm f***ed.

It's an interesting segue.

- Did you listen to

the show last night?

Yes.

- He loves me.

- I know.

The entire tri-state

area knows.

The car's here.

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