The Accidental Husband Page #6

of your relationship.

- You're getting

married soon, right?

Yep. That's right.

Your fianc must

be a lucky man...

to know he has you

to keep him honest.

We're both very lucky.

Brother Carl.

Didn't know you played.

Let's drop the

bullshit, shall we?

It's Richard.

- Richard Braxton,

as you well know.

Patrick Sullivan,

as you well know.

Hell, we're

practically family.

You behaved like a

real gentleman...

over a rather odd period.

Emma tells me you

did me a good turn...

- and I appreciate that.

- It was fun.

I have to play the spoil-sport

and ask for those papers...

- so we can go separate ways.

I'll bring them by the office.

- No, that's not gonna happen.

- Why's that?

She and I have a life

which doesn't include you,

and I want to

keep it that way.

So I'm asking

you man-to-man...

- not to see her,

call her, text her.

I'm not much of a texter.

Somebody in your circle seems

to have a gift for technology.

- What do you mean?

The more I look

into this glitch,

as Emma calls it,

the less accidental it seems.

You might be technol

ogically-challenged.

Anyone close to you...

- might be able

to pull this off?

Not off the top

of my head, no.

I intend to find

out who did this.

Something wrong with him.

I know you've been there.

We've all been there.

Sounds like a crush.

You're a grown...

woman, let's call

it an infatuation.

...far bigger problems

than what you have now.

You're dreaming. Wake

up, girl. Do you...

share the vision

of the future?

Is he dependable?

You have to ask yourself.

Smart, successful,

beautiful women...

cannot live on kisses alone.

You may think the chemistry...

has commonality

with friendship.

Take a look at the

compatibility...

quizzes in my book,

chapter seven.

- You'll find it illuminating.

- Thank you.

Thank you, caller.

Hi, you're on the air.

I'm reading your book, too.

You call this a

self-help book...

- or does that term offend?

- Uh, not in the least.

- Who does it help, exactly?

- Well, it...

See, the thing is, I,

um... I haven't...

gotten to the

helpful part yet.

- Perhaps you're

a slow reader.

No, it doesn't tell you how...

to find somebody to

love, or how you...

get somebody to love you back.

All it does is tell

you what's wrong...

with the person

you're in love with.

That to me, well,

that's not very helpful.

Perhaps it is you

who are wrong for...

the person you think

you are right for.

What is it you know about me

that would make you say that?

- I don't know you.

- You bet you don't.

I don't. Since you called,

here's some advice.

Instead of blaming others

for your problems,

- consider looking

at yourself.

I'm looking right

at my problem.

- Well, stop fogging

up the mirror.

Nice.

- Did you just hang

up on a caller?

I did not just hang

up on a caller.

Hello? Hello? Uh, hello?

I think we've been

disconnected.

It must be those cell phones,

those nasty cell phones.

Thanks to my caller

for calling...

and I will be seeing

you tomorrow...

for the next

Real Love with Dr Emma Lloyd.

Are you crazy? How

dare you come to my...

place of work and

make prank calls?

I'm flipping through this

and it was so full of crap...

- that maybe I

ought to call in.

I see you actually

bought my book.

- No. I stole it

from your party.

Stole it. That makes sense.

And I took your

compatibility quiz.

- Really? How did you do?

- According to this,

my lifestyle is wholly

unsuitable to...

any freak who would

buy or write a book...

- like this.

Surprise. Those

tests don't lie.

New York City Fire Department.

Official business.

Please exit the elevator.

Come on, ladies.

Sir, thank you.

- What are you doing?

- Unsuitable?

Is that really what

you think of me?

I don't think of you.

You want to see unsuitable?

Hey, security,

- what's the story

with the elevator?

Holy.

- My wife loves her show.

- Delivery.

I can't even get a guy

to hold a door for me.

- Step back, please.

Can you fix the focus on that?

- Zoom in a little bit.

- There you go.

I've had enough of

this. Excuse me, sir?

Doctor? Doctor?

I'm gonna have to ask you...

to please stop. Stop

what you're doing.

Come down to the

lobby immediately.

Stop it.

Stop it now, please.

- Sorry about that.

- Which part, exactly?

- Kissing you thing.

- We just got caught up.

- Carried away.

- Lost our heads.

I'm getting married.

Yeah.

You love him?

I only ask this because...

being that I'm your

husband and...

you're my wife, I have this...

I have this vested interest

in seeing you happy.

I want to be happy. Don't you?

What is happiness anyway?

I don't know.

You tell me, you

wrote the book.

I guess I don't know.

- Patrick...

It was nice being

married to you.

You, too.

- Thanks.

- Goodbye, Emma.

Oh. Oh, oh.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I know, I'm always so prompt.

Don't worry. When I

arrived, I told them...

to bring the drinks

in ten minutes.

- How's that for timing?

Oh, what a day.

You have no idea.

Actually, I kind of do.

I heard your show today.

- That was

Sullivan, I take it?

Yes.

The good news is

I got the papers.

Everything but page 127,

and I'm sure it's

in there somewhere.

- We'll never see him again.

- So why don't you look happy?

I am.

Well, I've got something

that might cheer you up.

Harry Winston

finished our rings.

Now, wanna have a look?

Wow.

See, the circle of eternity...

came out great,

don't you think?

- No. They did mine wrong.

- What are you talking about?

- It's perfect.

- It says 'Do I? Do I? Do I?'

Not 'I do, I do, I do.'

Em, you're under a tremendous...

amount of stress

at the moment.

It's not stress, Richard.

I just don't know.

I'm really confused.

Well, I'm not confused, Em.

I know exactly what I want.

I think you and I

are the perfect team.

Never doubted it for a moment.

But I am not gonna

talk you into marrying me.

Take a few days...

and figure out what

it is you want.

In fact, why don't we

begin that right now.

Richard.

We had a really

nice time. Good conversation.

He was sweet and funny,

but I don't know.

Something's missing.

- There was no... Exactly.

- Spark?

Yeah, let me...

tell you something

about sparks.

Sparks cause fires and fires

will burn your house down.

Keep searching for

good ol' Sparky,

you're sure to get burned.

Trust me on that, OK?

Oh, I'm so hungry.

Wilder.

Your girlfriend's

wearing my robe.

Actually, his

girlfriend's daughter...

is wearing your robe.

- Hello, Emma.

- Aren't you my?

So, um, why the big secret?

I wanted to tell you.

Your father thought

you wouldn't hire me...

as caterer

if you knew we were dating.

- Is that what you call it?

That or this is an

elaborate ruse...

- of yours to get out

of paying my bill.

You have been

worth every penny.

There you go again,

always saying the

perfect thing.

You've been together

for almost a year.

Why didn't you tell me?

You've met so many

women over the years.

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